Daddy Issues

January 23, 2021.Reading time 8 minutes.

Life has been very reminiscent of childhood this past week. I have had many conversations that have led back to childhood pain specifically. I am not sure if that is the best wording for it, but I will use it anyway. When I say pain, I am referring to physical and emotional wounds that are caused usually by those that were put in place to protect us. I can say honestly that I have had to walk through many issues personally.

I was reading from the book of Genesis this week. I am doing a read the bible in a year plan with a group of women. It is called wondered by the Word. It is nice. I don’t think I can get as deep as I usually do because it is just so much in such a short amount of time. So, I pick and choose what verses I will get really in depth with. This week I was reading through the story of Abraham, Ishmael, Hagar, Isaac, Sarah, Lot and his daughters. Oh the daddy issues!

Okay, the first thing… Go read Genesis 16-22.

Now in this text there are so many things that would not be okay to us in 2021. One thing is Abraham having a child with his servant. In 2021 we would most likely see this as human trafficking. It wasn’t considered that when Abraham did it…it was different times. While it may have been different times, I honestly believe that this would have a negative impact emotionally, on many involved. The next thing is lots daughters sleeping with their dad while after their mother chose her past over them and God. Not to mention their dad has isolated his daughters from society. WHAT?! This is plain as day incest. The girls are also no doubt dealing with abandonment issues as well. The story goes on to talk about Abraham telling his servant Hagar and his child to go away and not come back. Hagar runs out of water and just places her child next to a tree to die. To Die. The Lord then speaks to her and saves her and her child. Then Abraham (following God’s commands) takes his son up the mountain to sacrifice his life. His Life.

In a few chapters we have read about so many things that could have lasting effects. I have lived through a lot of abuse in my life. I don’t say this for sympathy, I say it because sometimes experiencing something helps you understand it better. I think I understand abuse because I lived it and I overcame it. Well, I guess it is more honest to say that every day I choose to overcome it. Every day I make choices to make sure that the abuse is not passed to my children. I want this sin to stop with me.

I have found a few facts that I wanted to share with you guys:

It’s estimated that at least 1 in 7 children in the US has experienced child abuse and/or neglect in the past year.
Neglect is the most common form of child abuse, followed by physical abuse, sexual abuse, and psychological abuse.
In 2018, about 16% of children who were abused experienced more than one kind of maltreatment.
Boys and girls experience similar rates of childhood abuse (48.6% and 51% respectively).
Rates of child abuse and neglect are 5 times higher for children in families with low socio-economic status compared to children in families with higher socio-economic status.
Children younger than one year old are the most vulnerable to maltreatment, accounting for almost half of child fatalities from abuse in 2018.
In 2018, 76% of child abuse perpetrators were a parent to their victim.
In 2018, 62% of children placed in foster care were removed from their homes due to abusive neglect, totaling over 160,000 children.
Children who experienced any form of violence in childhood have a 13% greater likelihood of not graduating from high school.
Adult survivors of childhood abuse are more likely to experience mental health difficulties, including depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, PTSD, eating disorders, and substance use disorders.
Adult survivors of childhood abuse are more likely to engage in high-risk behaviors like smoking, alcohol and drug use, and unsafe sex. They’re also more likely to report overall lower health than those who haven’t experienced childhood abuse.

The source for this information can be found at:

11 Facts About Child Abuse | DoSomething.org

I shared these facts with you for a couple reasons.

One is for those that have experienced abuse. You get to choose what your life looks like from here out. You get to crawl out of the deep pit of despair and chase the God who is your true father. The one who never leaves your side. The one that has gotten you through every battle. The one in the den that calms the lions. The one in the fire that stops the singe. Even when it seems like he is sleeping through the storm, he is still in the boat. You choose what you will pick up and carry. You choose what you will leave behind.

The other is for those who are walking with someone who has experienced abuse. This is the moment that you get to show someone else love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-control. This is when you get to show someone Jesus. Choose your actions and your words very carefully. Remember that hurt people, hurt people.

My questions for you:

Are you a hurt person, hurting people?

Do you have anyone you need to forgive? How do you walk that out?

Do you need to ask anyone for forgiveness? How do you walk that out?

Are you walking with someone who needs extra grace? How do you walk that out?

Grace and Peace

-Chorley

Additional Resources

National Child Abuse Hotline: 24/7 at 1-800-422-4453

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 24/7 at 1-800-799−7233

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 24/7 at 1-800-656-4673

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255