Tag: proverbs 31

photo of mountain under cloudy sky

Marriage: Part 8 Vows, Covenants, Rainbows.

.Reading time 9 minutes.

I have been writing to all of you concerning marriage. We have had 7 parts to this so far. I don’t know everything about marriage. I do know that with Christ all things are possible. I promised to send one about vows… so here you go. I pray this finds you well.

I recently had a chance to sit deeply in Numbers 30. If you have not had a chance to go through it I suggest that you do before you go any further. When I first turned to numbers 30, I noticed that it spoke of a Man’s Vows and a Woman’s Vows separately. I also noticed that the man’s section was 2 verses long. The woman’s vows, however, were 13 verses long. My gut reaction was WHY DO WE HAVE MORE RULES. Again, this is just my “strong independent woman” background speaking. We can often glimpse at something and not find it worthy of our time. Lord walk with us!

I have highlighted a few verses to share with you.

  • V2: If a man vows a vow to the LORD, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.
  • V8: But if, on the day that her husband comes to hear of it, he opposes her, then he makes void her vow that was on her, and the thoughtless utterance of her lips by which she bound herself. And the LORD will forgive her. 
  • V9: (But any vow of a widow or of a divorced woman, anything by which she has bound herself, shall stand against her.) 
  • V12: But if her husband makes them null and void on the day that he hears them, then whatever proceeds out of her lips concerning her vows or concerning her pledge of herself shall not stand. Her husband has made them void, and the LORD will forgive her. 
  • V15: But if he (her husband) makes them null and void after he has heard of them, then he shall bear her iniquity.”

As I slowly walked and crawled through this text, I was able to see and understand that the Lord did not set up all of these additional rules for women. The word clearly says to keep your word, your vow, your pledge.  He also gave us many opportunities to rely on the discernment and leadership of the men set over us. To protect us.

This glance over our vows and pledges reminded me of the Lord’s Covenant with us. So, I decided to look over the Covenant that the Lord spoke of. The one with Noah. You first find this mentioned in Genesis 9.

9“Behold, I establish my covenant with you and your offspring after you, 10and with every living creature that is with you, the birds, the livestock, and every beast of the earth with you, as many as came out of the ark; it is for every beast of the earth. 11I establish my covenant with you, that never again shall all flesh be cut off by the waters of the flood, and never again shall there be a flood to destroy the earth.” 12And God said, “This is the sign of the covenant that I make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for all future generations: 13I have set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth. 14When I bring clouds over the earth and the bow is seen in the clouds, 15I will remember my covenant that is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh. And the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all flesh. 16When the bow is in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.”

I am fond of Hebrew number meaning. The number nine is associated with surrounding, fruitfulness, and finality. I had wondered why God waited so long after the fall to destroy man and then make a covenant with him. That is until I looked at it as a necessary step to finalize the period of fall of man. The entire time after Adam and Eve were deceived by the serpent up until the time waters receded… was the fall.  

I wanted to dig into this Covenant sign a little. God says that he has set his bow in the cloud, as a sign of the Covenant. This bow is often translated as a rainbow. The Hebrew word is qesheth. Which means bow, arch, bend. The physics behind a rainbow are even more fascinating. The blue base (foundation) color of a rainbow bends at exactly 40 degrees. (40 is a popular number!) Three things are required for one to see a rainbow.

  1. The sun must be behind you.
  2. Raindrops in the sky in front of you
  3. Sunlight must be able to reach the raindrops without any obstruction.

Now read those three things from a spiritual perspective.

  1. The Son must be radiating behind you. Warming your back and lighting your path.
  2. The living water that comes from above must be in front of you.
  3. Obstructions of you and your life or your sin can not be placed between his light and his living water.

Lord walk with us. I can’t read this list of seeing a rainbow without weeping over his perfect creations. His perfect sign. His perfect covenant.

When we look at this all as a whole, we can understand that our vows need to be kept. That out fathers and our husbands are meant to protect us in these vows. That our fathers and our husbands will have to bear our inequity when they have us break our vows. That the original covenant sign is one bending to another without obstruction. This is Chesed love!

Do you keep your vows?

Do you (rely on/allow) your (father/spouse) to protect you in these vows?

Do you work hard to bend into your spouse?

When your spouse bends into you, do you remove obstructions?

Grace & Peace

Chorley

Head over to the Distaff & Spindle to grab one of the new “Covenant” shirts!

Selling shirts is how I keep the content free and ad free.

Covenant
a happily married couple dancing at home

Marriage: Part 6 Husband Leading

.Reading time 9 minutes.

Before I dig into this topic of a husband leading the home.  I wanted to dig into the word meaning a little.

Husband- a married man considered in relation to his spouse.

Husbandry-the intentional cultivation and production of plants or animals.

I have chickens. I love having chickens. I wanted to have chickens for a dozen years before I convinced my husband that we should have them. I don’t think I fully convinced him, but I did wear him down. We knew that before we could even bring chickens to our property, we would need to have a place for them to live. When we were deciding how big of a coop to build, I told my husband that I wanted it to be big enough for me to walk in and clean it. If I wasn’t comfortable moving around inside, then I wouldn’t want to clean it. I also knew that the birds would need nesting boxes to lay eggs, roosting bars to sleep on, clean watering area, plenty of food, and a fenced in run big enough for the birds to run around and enjoy themselves without my dogs eating them. The only thing that I did not do… was put netting over the run to prevent hawks from flying in and carrying off a chicken. Occasionally we have had chickens carried off by hawks or one snatched off the fence by a very excited Great Dane. When it gets too hot in the summer I leave the hose running a little for them to play in the water. When the temperature drops too low I lock them in the coop so they don’t get frost bite; and then I have to carry water out 3 times a day so they don’t get dehydrated. I regularly check them for infections, parasites, and injuries. When they are sick I nurse them back to health. I actively and intentionally engage in chicken husbandry. Chickens have been around for a long time. They could survive without me, but I prefer that they thrive with me.

Husbands need to consider themselves not just husbands, but intentionally engaging in the husbandry of their wife, their marriage, and their children. The word tells us that…

 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.          Ephesians 5:23

While I was raised by a feminist and believe that women are capable of amazing things; I still believe that a husband is the head of the wife. I was in the Army for 8 years and ran my own squad in a gun truck for an advanced combat patrol unit. All of the men that served under me were head strong infantry men. It is not that I believe women are helpless. For the first 5 years of our marriage I did what I wanted when I wanted. I hid most of my wounds and scars from my husband out of fear of rejection. This stunted the growth in our marriage… Then I had our first child and a very traumatic birth experience. A week later I was in a medicine induced coma. When the doctors took me off the medicine and I woke up, I was scared. My mom was there, my child was there, and my husband was there. I had retrograde amnesia and my last memory was walking through a market in Iraq. I just wanted to know where my squad was and who’s child my mom was holding. My husband explained what happened, then 10 minutes later, I forgot again. For the next 6 months I struggled with anterograde amnesia. I wasn’t allowed to drive because I had no clue where I was going. This became very comical when I had to give my mother-in-law directions. I was not able to bond with my son until he was around 7 months old. I had to rely on everyone around me to figure out my life. My husband really became a husband practicing husbandry during that time. Over the next five years I slowly stopped letting my husband lead me in life. I became independent to a self-destructive level. Believing that I didn’t even need him. We grew apart and I wondered daily why we were even married. Then the Lord got ahold of me, and I became very sick. I developed fibromyalgia. It was through my sickness that my husband began leading me again. Through illness, injury, surgery, recovery… illness, injury, surgery, recovery… illness, injury, surgery, recovery. Over and over he was forced to lead me. This was leading out of necessity. This was all a rehearsal for him to learn to lead us out of choice. We had got to the point that I would say or do something negative and he would remind me of what I had promised or what the Word said. We got to the point where he took an active role in where my time was spent. He cared if my time was wasted on frivolous things or my family and things that grew me. He spoke up when I was doing unhealthy activities, whether that was unhealthy eating, over working myself or maintaining one-sided relationships. He now leads and guides me to help me grow for the benefit of myself and others, be fruitful as a wife, mother, and Disciple of Christ, and self-preserving and not self-destructive. I shared all this messiness to show how (1.) I’m definitely a work in progress. (2.) I respect that my husband is growing in his role (3.) No one gets it right all the time.

One thing I know for a fact, is that women have to get out of the way, if they want their husband to lead.

Some scripture to meditate on:

1 Peter 3:7

1 Corinthians 11:3

Ephesians 5:25

Proverbs 31:11

If you have been following along with this marriage series, you will know that we are going through and rating things. Now, rate from 1-10 how your husband is leading you. 10 being the best. I can not tell you what leading should look like in your home. That is why I have only talked about how it looks for us. Every family is different and walks this out differently. That is why you have to sit with the Lord and these scriptures yourself first. Don’t ever use this rating as a weapon. Use this as a way to have conversations, petition the Lord, and grow.

I pray this finds you well. As always feel free to reach out to me with any questions.

Grace & Peace

Chorley

vintage photo of a dog lying on the bed

Marriage: Part 4 Eros

.Reading time 10 minutes.

This post has taken me a while to write because this can be such a difficult subject to approach. In the marriage conversations that I have had with women, sex is always an issue of discussion. However, the truth of the matter is that sex is just one small aspect of the Eros love. When discussing the eros love and all it entails, my friend Richard Manlove told me, “It’s not just sex, even the dogs can do that.” I can not think of any better way to break it down. I’ll try.

Eros does not mean erotic. The word erotic was not used until the early 1600s. Erotic was used in Greek to describe anything that relates to sex or sexual desire. Lets stop calling Eros the erotic love. Let’s decided now that we will see Eros for what it was meant to be. The intimate love and oneness between a husband and wife. Remember that while Phileo love is two people walking in the same direction, Eros love is two people towards each other with a common goal nestled between them.

In a righteous world, everyone would find a mate, marry, and then engage in a sexual relationship. However, we do not live in a righteous world. Rather we live in a broken world. The majority of people, and self-proclaimed Christians, believe sex outside of marriage is an outdated practice. The dating site Christian Mingle did a survey in 2014 with it’s members. 61% stated that that they were willing to have casual sex without being in love, while only 11% said they were waiting until marriage to have sex. 40 million Americans regularly visit a pornographic website and 35% of all internet downloads are related to pornography. 1/3 of all porn viewers are female. 70% of Americans cheat at least once in their marriage. Popular culture has told us that modesty is meant to shame and hide our bodies. Culture, childhood trauma, incest, and sexual assaults have contributed to the poor example of intimacy or the inability for many to connect to another human in any manner of intimacy.

Oh how far we have fallen. In the beginning we see Adam and Eve walking in their beautifully naked bodies. It is not until sin comes that they feel shame and hide themselves from God. It is out of pity and love that we see God sacrifice an animal so that their bodies are covered. Over and over sacrifice is made to “cover” mankind’s indiscretions. When a child is young they are taught about intimate relationships. They are shown stories about sleeping beauties and longing princes. They also mindlessly observe the interpersonal relationships between their parents. They observe if a father kisses a wife’s cheek or slaps it. They observe if a wife lights up when her husband gets home from work or if she walks into another room. These things that we may think are minor create the foundation from which a child will build.

Sex in a marriage is important. That is why 1st Corinthians tells us, “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” It is no surprise that this was told to the believers of Corinth. A place known to have so many heathens and sexual deviants, Caligula himself would have thrived had his canal project succeeded. The frequency and quality of sex will be different with every couple. It will also be different with every season of life. There are a few factors that I want to discuss.

Seasons. Things shift differently for every season of your life. There may be a season where a child sleeps in your bed. There may be a season where one doesn’t go to bed until the other gets up for work. There might come a time in your life when you are no longer sexually active with your spouse due to hormones and age. So, Health.

Health plays a huge role in sex in a marriage. If one person has imbalanced hormones, they may be over sexually active or under active. If one is sick or in pain, their body may prevent any type of arousal. Sex without arousal is not healthy mentally or physically.

Then, there is the group I refer to as the “outside influences”. Adultry, Rape, Incest, Unresolved Trauma, Abortion, Infertility (and fertility), Trust, Identity, Modesty, Porn, Social Media.

If you think these things can’t attack your marriage, you are lying to yourself!

Unresolved trauma: Guards hearts and minds from receiving love in a healthy manner.

Rape: Can leave one feeling attacked and unsafe during every sexual encounter.

Incest: Can set victims up to give sex, in order to receive love.

Abortion: Can leave feelings of shame, regret, and strife.

Infertility: Can leave either person feeling worthless or broken.

Fertility: Fear of becoming pregnant (too many times) can lead to unhealthy abstinence.

Trust: Not trusting your spouse in a marriage prevents all intimacy.

Identity: Not having your identity in Christ can lead to self-sabotage.

Porn: Leads to desiring people or scenarios other than your spouse

Social Media: Can lead to unfairly comparing your spouse or marriage with others.

Modesty: I know this is not a popular topic. When you bring up modesty, many women raised in my generation snub their nose. We were taught to be proud of our amazing bodies and show off what we are proud of. Don’t let men tell you to hide your body. Well, none of that has anything to do with modesty. It is a heart matter. The word I am reminded of above all is, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” – 1 Corinthians 10:31 and “Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” – 1 Peter 3:3-4. I would love to discuss this topic more in a later post. The list of things that immodesty breeds from and causes is too extensive for this post.

When you look at all the different factors that can impact the intimacy in your marriage, it seems exhausting. I didn’t even discuss drugs and or alcohol. However, the Lord has the power to move in all of these situations. I suggest that you rate this area of your marriage in the same way that you rated all of the other areas up to this point. Remember you don’t rate just your spouse. You are rating your marriage in the area of Eros love. 1-10. If you are not at a 10, discuss why. Be open, honest, and vulnerable in this conversation. Consider the veracity as well as the benevolence of your words and reactions.

Is something in the way of your intimacy?

Do intimate encounters start from you trying to show love or from trying to receive sexual gratification?

Do any of the “outside influences” need to be discussed?

What scripture guides your Eros love?

If your Eros more than what the dogs do?

As always, I pray this finds you well.

Grace & Peace

Chorley

gray scale couple walking on snow covered ground

Marriage: Part 3 Phileo

.Reading time 9 minutes.

One of the things that suits me best is to write what I know. As I sit here and write this I am looking at a picture of my husband and I from our last hunting trip. In the photo I have an odd laughing expression. My phone takes motion picture, which means it records up until the moment the photo is taken. When I click “view motion picture”, I hear my husband, who is posing in the picture, say, “I farted, can you smell that?” This is a big part of our marriage. Being around each other. Being real with each other. Laughing with each other. Because… we are friends.

Phileo love is the friendship love.

The Strong’s concordance number is 5368 philéō (from 5384 /phílos, “affectionate friendship”) – properly, to show warm affection in intimate friendship, characterized by tender, heartfelt consideration and kinship.

When I look at this break down, I think of two different things: the first being the song You’ve Got a Friend by James Taylor. If you haven’t heard it, google it! The second being what is occasionally referred to as “Jesus Reinstates Peter”. I always laugh a little and wonder if the one who titled this section read the same text that I did.

If you go to John 21:15-19, you read about Jesus asking Peter if he loved him. Jesus is asking “if Peter Agape’ him?”. Peter then responds that he Phileo him. Jesus asked “if he Agape’ him?” and again Peter responds that he Phileo him. Then Jesus asked “do you Phileo me?” and Peter responds that he Phileos him. I don’t believe this is a reinstatement, but I am not the voice of the Lord for you. What I do see here is Peter admitting that he was not willing to sacrifice for Jesus, but he was willing to have an intimate friendship with a tender heartfelt consideration and kinship. Peter is not telling Jesus that he doesn’t love him or they are only friends. There is a lot of weight to say that you phileo someone.

In my life I have had some very good relationships and I have had some very unhealthy relationships. ANY relationship that is one sided is unhealthy. A big chunk of the “friends” on my Facebook are merely acquaintances. Some people that I used to consider dear friends have become just acquaintances. I will explain why.

In our own time, friendship arises in the same way. It may be a common religion, common studies, a common profession even common recreation. All who share it will be out companions; but one or two or three who share something more will be our friends.

–C.S. Lewis

For someone to be a friend and not a companion or as I refer to them, acquaintance, there has to be more to the relationship. There has to be a commonality between their lives that is shared. The commonality could be something positive, like Disciple making or the church you attend. The commonality could also be negative like over-indulging in alcohol or gossiping. When a friendship is not rooted in something deep, the friendship may fade away when the commonality stops happening. I used to socially drink with a veterans group. When I stopped drinking, I had little interest to be around the group. If a mother looses a child, she may seek friends that have had the same experience. Seeking someone who “gets it”.

True friendship seeks to be loyal. In every action or conversation a true friend seeks to preserve the other friend, the truth, and the relationship. These three things are seen as valuable. I know that when I leave the room, my husband will not allow me to be attacked, lied about or allow anyone (including himself) to question our marriage. This brings me comfort. If you phileo anyone, you may consider these things: Are you a loyal friend? Are they? Are they loyal, not only when you are in the room, but when you are out? You can be honest and loyal at the same time.

Friendship has no survival value, rather it is one of the things which give value to survival.

C.S. Lewis

Does the friendship give your life value? Is it missed when it is gone? When I was in Iraq , I was not stationed with my husband. I longed for the days that we would get to visit each others bases. I would pull security on bomb filled roads just to get to see his face for 5 minutes. When I would see his face I could almost hear the theme song from Top Gun playing. That 5 minutes would get me through till the next time. sometimes it would be days apart, sometimes months. Our time was precious. I occasionally forget that now that we get to see each other most days. Writing this has opened my eyes to some of my own actions or inactions. Other than my husband, most of my real friends, my phileo friends have died. Either from war, suicide or cancer. The few Phileos that I have left have a special place in my heart. And my calendar.

So, it is time to ask yourself a few questions about the friendship you have with your spouse.

  • Is your spouse your best friend?
  • If not, who is and why?
  • Do you have heartfelt companionship with your spouse?
  • What are your commonalities?
  • What commonalities have you lost? Has that left an impact?
  • Are you both loyal?
  • Do you gossip or talk down about your spouse?
  • Do you shut down negative talk about your spouse?
  • Are you honest with each other?
  • Do you trust them?
  • Do you miss them when they are gone?

While Eros may look like two people walking toward each other with all desire and adoration for each other; Phileo is two people walking side by side, in the same direction, while taking special care to not go too fast or too slow, but stay in step.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? Ecclesiastes 4:9-11

Remember the PDF from Part 1 and 2. Now after going through the above questions, rate how you are doing in this area from 1-10. We don’t rate the husband. We don’t rate the wife. We rate the marriage. Then we discuss how we can progress. I will share a new PDF below. There is a 1-10 scale available. I have also updated the PDF for storge’ to have the same scale. Think 10 is “great” and 1 is “needs lots of improvement”.

Walk through this world with one who wants to be at your side.

Grace & Peace

Chorley

Chorley-PhileoDownload
baskets clean color cotton

Taking the mess out of Hot mess

.Reading time 11 minutes.

This season of REST has been amazing. There were many times that I woke up and thought “ I have to write about that now before I forget!” However, I did not go write about it. I had sat with the Lord and came to the decision that if I was taking a season of rest, then I needed to take a break from the blog as well. This was hard for me because I do love writing. Taking a season of rest is not just a time to take a break from things you dislike or things that are draining you. It is a time to take a break from anything you can, so that you can spend more time with the Lord. I obviously can’t take a break from being a mom or wife… but I can take a break from pouring into other women, writing the blog, and any other ministry related things.

A big thing that the Lord had me sit in was organization. I have this joke that I say more often than I should; If the Lord made me in his image… he must be sarcastic. I say this as a complete joke. I have no clue if the Lord is sarcastic. Sometimes I wonder… but I don’t know. There are times when we can take scripture out of context. The verse that says, “ Let us make man in our image, after our likeness”, is often taken out of context. While it is true that he made man in his own image, that does not mean that the Lord made me sarcastic. I am sure that the fall of man, and years of childhood trauma have a big hand in my sarcastic abilities. I am going to drop a few scriptures at your feet and ask that you really sit with them.

  1. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.         Genesis 1:27
  2. This is how you are to make it, the length of the Ark 300 cubits, it’s breadth 50 cubits, and it’s height 30 cubits.             Genesis 6:15
  3. Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements- surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it?           Job 38:4-5
  4. Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.            Romans 12:2
  5. For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.       1 Corinthians 14:33
  6. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31:27

I don’t talk about organization because I have it all figured out and I am a subject matter expert. I talk about organization because 1. It is biblical and 2. I need to work on it. I have a slight OCD about how things are cleaned and put away in my home. I often refuse cleaning help because when things are not done my way, I end up having to go back and redo it. If you look at these verses, you can see that 1. We are made in God’s image. 2. God is very organized. I am repeatedly asking myself if the traits that I have are Godly or Worldly. I can remember my children being late for school at least twice a week a few years ago. Over time I have been able to correct this bad habit. I have a few medical problems that team up and make going to bed at night very difficult. While I have these medical problems, I also have bad habits that make going to bed at a decent time, an irregular occurrence. My lack of self-discipline in this area has spilled onto other parts of my life. Such as getting my children out of bed in time to eat and get to school on time. If I am tired or oversleep in the morning, I won’t get a chance to sit in the Word before I wake up my children. Then I might also not have time to make them a nutritious breakfast, pack a nutritious lunch, talk to them with patience, make sure their teeth are brushed… make sure MY teeth are brushed and I am wearing a bra!

We can say all day, “God bless this hot mess”. But is a hot mess what we are really striving for? Let me say, that I am not trying to shame anyone for not having everything together! I know I don’t! (Jesus walk with me!)What I am saying is that while we appreciate that the lord blesses us even when we are a hot mess… That can not be the goal. The goal can not be to just barely get through every day. The goal can not be to get out of bed late and rush around and get our kids to school late and frustrated. The goal should be to work on being transformed more and more into the attributes that the Lord has laid out in his Word.

Over the season of rest, I have worked at becoming more organized and self-disciplined. I have purged bags and bags of clothing. I have thrown out things that I was saving for various projects. I have started projects that I was putting off. I have drastically cut back on the amount of tv time I am allowing myself. My next step is to commit to going to bed by 11pm, meal planning, grocery shopping before we are out of something, and turning off my phone by 10pm.

When we make plans, we have to make tangible plans. If I say, “ I plan to be on my phone less” Who measures what is less?! Plans have to be something you can actually measure. Using words like less or more, is not a complete plan. My phone being off by 10pm would mean that I am on my phone about 3 hours less a day and I may end up falling asleep sooner and get more sleep, allowing me to get up earlier and be more productive in the morning. While the plan may lead to other things that are less and more, the actual plan needs to be specific.

I wanted to share a new planner that I purchased that is also great for those that need to organize more. I bought the Faith and Focus planner. It is a 90 day planner that focuses goals, and abide time along with your schedule. I will share an amazon link below.

            Amazon.com : Faith & Focus by Christian Planner | 90 Day Undated Planner | Eco-Friendly FSC Certified Paper | Work, Life, Spiritual Daily Journal, Designed to Help Accomplish Your Goals & Increase Productivity : Office Products

The next thing I wanted to share was the school planner that I purchased for my middle schooler. I want him to learn organizing and study skills younger, so he may be more productive later. After reading some reviews from a seasoned tutor and teacher, I found this planner and it seems to be great so far.

Amazon.com : 2021-2022 Academic Planner, A Tool for Time Management, Daily, Weekly & Monthly School Agenda for Keeping Students On Track & On Time, Size 8.5×11, (July 2021-June 2022), Navy/Lime : Office Products

I have also found a youtube channel that is just a God-loving woman cleaning and organizing her home. It’s kinda like when you watch a cooking show and think, I could go make that! I watch this channel and think, I could go clean that!

Amy Darley – YouTube

So, my questions for you:

What part of your life needs more organization?

What does the Lord say about that part of your life?

What is your tangible plan?

REMEMBER! I am not trying to shame anyone or make anyone feel guilty. I am the first person that needs to attempt to remove the mess from Hot-mess.

Once again, I am excited to be back for this season and PLEASE send me all your questions, concerns, and content suggestions!

Grace & Peace

Chorley

Idle or Reliable

.Reading time 8 minutes.

There was a time in my life when all I could do was exist. I live with a chronic illness. There are times that my illness will put me in bed for days. There was a time in my life that I had more sick days than healthy. There was also a time in my life that I was idle. I would get up in the morning and take my kid to school then I would come home and lay on the couch watching TV all day until it was time to go get him again. Life slowly got busier and busier. As more kids came and more “mom duties” started to come, I always felt under water. I remember getting on Facebook and looking at the lives of other moms. They all seemed to have it together. They were juggling kids, PTA, sports, bible studies, church on Sundays, date nights with their husbands, careers, and still managed to do laundry and have dinner on the table every night. I was puzzled how they had so much time on their hands.

It took me a while to understand a few things. It also took Discipleship. The first thing that I had to understand, was that I was not to be measured up to other moms or women. No where in the Word have I ever found that I am compared with other women. There are things that the Word lays out for women. There is guidance on how a woman ought to manage herself and her home. The word is the only thing that I should measure myself up to. Much of this information can be found in Titus 2 and Proverbs 31. Now don’t roll your eyes at the thought of yet one more Proverbs 31 study. This is not one. However, if you have never looked at the text (without commentary from someone else) and asked how you can apply it to your life… do it now.

The next thing I had to understand is that I have the same 24 hours in my day that everyone else has. No one took any hours from me. Now I may have more free time in one day than another day. I may need more rest on some days. I may get more work done on others. The things that I had seen other women doing on Facebook, was a choice for them. Spending time with their kids was a choice. Having time for date nights was a choice. Doing a bible study was a choice. Getting the laundry done, was also a choice.

What is the sacrifice of these choices? When we look at our life and we are making time for the Lord, our spouse, our kids, and our chores… what are we sacrificing? I know that if I want to get my house clean, I need to sacrifice some free time. If I want to get to church early for a class, I need to rearrange my schedule and come prepared. If I want to walk with women, I have to sacrifice some of my evenings. Now we can also look at things from a different perspective as well. Am I sacrificing intentional time with the Lord, so that I can sleep in? Am I sacrificing intimate time with my husband so that I can be out with my friends? Do I sacrifice a clean home so I can binge watch Netflix? Everything is a sacrifice. You just have to ask yourself; Is this a sacrifice that I want to make?

The key word that the Lord has been showing me this past month is definitely: Idleness. I was drawn to check out 2 Thessalonians 3. When I got there, I realized that I was there to check out verses 6-15.

Now we command you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you keep away from any brother who is walking in idleness and not in accord with the tradition that you received from us. For you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us, because we were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone’s bread without paying for it, but with toil and labor we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you. It was not because we do not have that right, but to give you in ourselves an example to imitate. For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies. Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living.

As for you, brothers, do not grow weary in doing good. If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note of that person, and have nothing to do with him, that he may be ashamed. Do not regard him as an enemy but warn him as a brother.

There are so many ways that you can look at this. One way that I am looking at this is: Who am I around and being influenced by? Am I around people that gossip and sit around doing nothing? Am I around fellow believers that speak life into me? I can’t answer these questions for you. I also can’t tell you what you need to sacrifice. I do pray that you find a way to sacrifice for things that grow you closer to the Lord. I also pray that I show myself to be a reliable minister of the Gospel, by not being idle; Idle in my relationship with the Lord, idle in ministry, and idle in the affairs of my home. I can be idle or I can be reliable, but I cant be both.

Grace & Peace

Chorley

If you haven’t already, make sure to check out the Truth x Grace Summit through Brittanyrust.com There is going to be some great resources revealed!

Walking with Compassion

.Reading time 7 minutes.

Hello all! It is cold here in Oklahoma. Oklahoma doesn’t usually get to -7. I hope all of you are staying nice and warm. This unusual weather that we are experiencing has me thinking a lot about those that are out in this weather. I am not talking about the linemen, the ranchers or the first responders. I am talking about the roughly 4000 homeless that are in Oklahoma. The ones that have to rely on places like the Homeless Alliance. I am also talking about some of the 750,000 elderly. Many of whom have no one to go get them supplies. I am also thinking about the 168,000 single parents that are solely responsible for keeping their children warm and fed. Currently, 594,140 people in Oklahoma struggle with hunger. 208,110 of those are children. If you think you are a Disciple of Jesus and none of this is your problem, you are wrong.

            “Him who strengthens me.”

If we take a minute to look at the Disciples and the lives that they lived, we see people who were shepherds. Jesus and his disciples fed thousands and thousands of people in the span of just three years. If I made my family a meal 3 times a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year for 3 years, for the 5 of us that would be 16,380 meals. We look at the number of people the Disciples fed, and we are in awe of their selflessness and the miracles of being able to feed that many people. But… How often do we grumble at even having to make dinner a few nights a week for our husbands and children? I don’t say this to shame you. Believe that I am the first to raise my hand and say that I have grumbled. I have grumbled a lot. In my grumbling my husband has shown me grace. My husband who goes to work five days a week for 12-15 hours every day in all weather, shows me grace in my grumbling. The word tells me:

She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.

Lord continue to change me. Continue to change my mind. Continue to change my heart.

“Him who strengthens me”

In Mark 6:30-44 we read about the Disciples feeding 5000 men. The word tells us that Jesus saw a great crowd and had compassion on them because they were like sheep without a shepherd.  The disciples came to Jesus when it got late and told him to send them off to buy themselves something to eat. Jesus response was, “You give them something to eat”. The word does not tell us if these men had the ability to fend for themselves. It does say that the Disciples were going to tell them to buy food for themselves. If I were an assuming woman, I might assume that they may have had the ability to acquire food. Regardless, Jesus said, “You give them something to eat”. If we look further into Mark, Mark 8:1-10, we see once again that Jesus had compassion on the crowd. This time he had spent some time with these men and did not want to send them home hungry for fear of them fainting. So, he said, “feed them in this desolate place”.

When we look at the Greek of this word compassion we find the word “splagchnizomai”. Splagchnizomai: to be moved in the inward parts, to feel compassion – “from splanxna, ‘the inward parts,’ especially the nobler entrails – the heart, lungs, liver, and kidneys. These gradually came to denote the seat of the affections.

Deep down in his inner most being he was moved to care for people. He modeled this for his Disciples. We know that this was successfully modeled for his disciples because we see the Disciples follow this example in Acts 6. The Disciples were informed of a need and they appointed people to fill the need.

            My life has not been easy, but I have survived. I have not always had all I wanted but by still being alive, I have had all I needed. I was reminded of Paul’s words to the Philippians.

            I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.

I have recently asked myself a couple questions and I encourage you to ask yourself these questions.

Do I praise his name when I am brought low? Do I praise his name when I abound? When I am given plenty and I have abundance, am I showing compassion and generosity to others that have hunger and need? This hunger and need could be spiritual or physical. When I have hunger and need, do I seek that which gives what I need? Do I truly walk as a Disciple?

“Him who strengthens me.”

Remember that compassion and generosity is not meant to make you feel better. It is meant to make others feel better. It pleases the Lord. “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” I pray you find your hands useful.

”She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.”

As Always,

Grace & Peace

-Chorley