Many of us just celebrated Rosh Hashanah. This is the Hebrew/ Jewish new year. This is also known as the Feast of trumpets. New year often comes with new goals and new hopes. It can be hard for some to blow the trumpet with joy when we think about the times we are living in.
The only thing that keeps me stable in these days of uncertainty is the absolute dependability of God’s Word. -Elizabeth Elliot
I wish I could say that most things in our world are running smooth and exactly how we want them to run. They are not. We have had a very trying couple of years. I wanted to share a few numbers with you.
Notable violence numbers from 2019: 2,983 Christians were killed for their faith 8,537 Christians were raped or sexually harassed for their faith 9,488 Churches or Christian buildings were attacked 3,711 Christians were unjustly arrested or imprisoned 1,052 Christians were abducted for faith-related reasons 3,315 Christian homes were attacked, burned or destroyed
Before you read any further… Pray.
We have these violent acts going around the whole world. I don’t have the answer for what you can do other than pray. The violence of this world is nothing new. People have been killing each other since Cain and Able. We can not look at these numbers and be surprised. Only a little over 30% of the worlds population is a Christian. Only about 65% of the US is Christian. That number is declining every year. These numbers should not scare you, but they should stir you. They should stir you to be in the Word so that you are also… prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you.
I recently when through Ephesians 4 with the Family Life Assembly of God in Choctaw, OK. The whole chapter is so rich and gives a great playbook for the Christian. One thing that we discussed every night was that the first three chapters of the book are the why and the next three are the how. As in, why we are Christians and how we walk that out. The biggest things that we have to understand is that we can not begin to walk out out faith, if we don’t know why we have our faith. My friend Maria shared the biblical definition of faith with us; confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. The only way that we can live in these trying times is by faith with hope. Not faith in a government to protect us and provide for us, but faith in our God to do that. Not hope that things will be how we want them to be and that we wont face trials and persecution, but Hope that Christ’s will be done in our lives.
One of the most powerful things that was ever told to the Hebrews that were being persecuted and were filled with righteous anger was; We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek. When we have Christ as an anchor in our life, the storms and waves of the evil in this world don’t shift our faith. The frustrations of mundane daily tasks don’t distract us from the mission we are on.
What mission are you on?
Is your mission Christ centered?
What distractions from the enemy, stumbling blocks or briars of rebellion do you need to address?
Stand firm in your faith. Pray for the persecuted. Pray for those that persecute. Blow the trumpet of the Lord. Loudly!
I recently started listening to this book from Mike Breen and Walt Kallestad, titled A Passionate Life. I am listening to it because I always have so much time in the car between school drop off and pick up, soccer practice and everyday errands. At the opening of the book Mike describes a situation that happened when his children were younger. He tells of a time that his family had a membership at a “health club”. That term “health club” alone takes me back to the 80s and 90s. He talks about how he loved the hot tub. Then his children told him about the sun shower. It was like a beach experience. You get sun rays and a tropical breeze for a set amount of time. So he goes in and doesn’t enjoy it. His children loved it and told him to try again. Just try a lil bit more time. So he did. Still didn’t get it. They talked him into trying it a 3rd time. So he goes in again. This time, when he opened his eyes, he found a 2nd door handle in the small room. It was a door knob. He opened it and that is when he realized that he had been standing in the changing room the entire time. He hadn’t even opened the door to enjoy the sun shower. Then Mike goes in to ask: Is your relationship with Jesus like that? Have you gone through the first door and just stood there not knowing that there is more?
I think that many Christians are guilty of this. I know that I was. Often times when we grow up we are told a little bit about what Christians believe. We are told that Christians believe in God and that God sent his son Jesus to be the messiah and that he died on the cross for our sins. I am not saying that is not a great definition. What I am saying is that; that is just the changing room. If we believe that is all we need to know about God, we are fooling ourselves.
I dont pretend to know all there is to know about the Kingdom. One thing I am reminded of is Matthew 7:21-23.
Not everyone who says to me, Lord Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, “Lord, Lord did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do mighty works in your name?” And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness’
I am also reminded of the words that were directed to the Church of Laodicea in Revelation 3
“I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.
There is so much more to God than the knowledge of the sacrifice of his Son. C. H. Spurgeon said that, ‘ to disregard the study of God, you will sentence yourself to stumble and blunder through life blindfolded, as it were, with no sense of direction and no understanding of what surrounds you. … this will waste your life and your soul’ I know that knowing that we are to know God is just the beginning. The next step is often harder. The next step is knowing where to begin in our journey to know God. I will give you the number one way to know God. His word.
We are all known by our Words. Our Words reflect what is in our heart. That is why the Word tells us, out of the mouth flows the heart. If all I ever talk about are other people, my heart is focused on other people. If all I ever talk about is money, my heart is focused on money. If all I ever talk about is people being “judgy”. My heart may very well be “judgy”. If I talk about kingdom things, my heart is focused on kingdom things. Be very carful who you allow to occupy the air space around you. Is the voice of the world louder than the voice of the Lord in your life?
Unpopular opinion: If you are never in his word, you don’t know him.
I pray this finds you well and hungry for the Word of the Lord.
This past month has come with a lot of highs and a lot of lows. I wish I could say that once you become a Disciple of Jesus everything becomes easy. Ha! That is just not the truth. There are still struggles for all of us. The difference is that a Disciple of Jesus knows that the Lord is perfect in our weakness. We also know that because our hope is in him and not in how we feel. I have had (diagnosed) PTSD since 2008. Through a series of life events my body decided to live in a hypervigilant state. This caused other medical issues. Then in 2018 I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. This was a whole new set of medical issues. I don’t say this in a manner of woe me. It is quite the contrary. I say this as in I have this Hope that can not be shaken; even when my PTSD is making my brain unbalanced or when my body hurts too bad to sleep. We know that because our hope is in him and not in how we feel momentarily. One thing that I have learned through loosing many people I love; pain is relative and momentary.
Pain can be used to debilitate us or show the Glory of God. When I think about life struggles and pain I always think of Job. I think of him trying everything he can to minister to his children and then dying. I think about him loosing his home, his wealth, and everything that he once considered a blessing in his life. I think about those in his life that try to tell him that he has caused this suffering. I think about the doubt that those around him try to plant in his mind. I think about his wavering doubt. Well, what I read as a wavering doubt. THEN… I think of how God answered him. God did not just tell him what he wanted to hear. God also did not just reverse everything that had happened. God still answered him. I always have to ask myself; how does God answer me? He answers me in his Word. He tells me of his love for me in his Word. He comforts me in his Word. He shows me his power in his Word. He reminds me of pillars of faith that have been built from his Word. (…and the Word became flesh and dwelt among them.) I have to remind myself to not do as Adam did. I can not hide my nakedness from the Lord. I bring my nakedness to him, and he clothes me in his sacrifices.
I heard a preacher speak on prison gates this past weekend. I think he did a great job. Mainly because he stuck mostly to the Word. I respect that. He talked of Acts 16. I encourage you to go read it. (Don’t just assume I am correct!) In Acts 16 we read about the prisoners singing at midnight. When they sing the prison walls begin to shake and the gates are opened. I have read this before, but I don’t think my heart was really ready to hear it. When I heard it this weekend I just wept. I wept at the thought that those that cry out to the Lord will be freed.
Physical pain and mental health are real medical problems. I am not saying that when you cry out to the Lord you will no longer feel pain. I m not saying that when you cry out to the Lord you will no longer have mental health issues. What I am saying is that it is possible to still cry out to the Lord and sing his praises even when you are restrained by worldly circumstances.
Remember that these men were beaten and in pain. They did not sing praises to relieve the pain or open their gates. They sang praises to sing praises to the Lord! They also did not stop singing and run away the minute that the gates opened. Instead, they did the work of our Father. They witnessed of the Lord’s great power AND mercy. THEN the one that once stood guard outside their gate was transformed by the power of the Lord and washed their wounds.
What gates are holding you in?
Do you sing praises to sing praises to the Lord?
What wounds do you need washed?
Grace & Peace
Chorley
I pray this finds you well. Be sure to check out the new playlist on the home page. I will also be releasing a new shirt next week! Check out the shop!
This season of REST has been amazing. There were many times that I woke up and thought “ I have to write about that now before I forget!” However, I did not go write about it. I had sat with the Lord and came to the decision that if I was taking a season of rest, then I needed to take a break from the blog as well. This was hard for me because I do love writing. Taking a season of rest is not just a time to take a break from things you dislike or things that are draining you. It is a time to take a break from anything you can, so that you can spend more time with the Lord. I obviously can’t take a break from being a mom or wife… but I can take a break from pouring into other women, writing the blog, and any other ministry related things.
A big thing that the Lord had me sit in was organization. I have this joke that I say more often than I should; If the Lord made me in his image… he must be sarcastic. I say this as a complete joke. I have no clue if the Lord is sarcastic. Sometimes I wonder… but I don’t know. There are times when we can take scripture out of context. The verse that says, “ Let us make man in our image, after our likeness”, is often taken out of context. While it is true that he made man in his own image, that does not mean that the Lord made me sarcastic. I am sure that the fall of man, and years of childhood trauma have a big hand in my sarcastic abilities. I am going to drop a few scriptures at your feet and ask that you really sit with them.
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27
This is how you are to make it, the length of the Ark 300 cubits, it’s breadth 50 cubits, and it’s height 30 cubits. Genesis 6:15
Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements- surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? Job 38:4-5
Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2
For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. 1 Corinthians 14:33
She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31:27
I don’t talk about organization because I have it all figured out and I am a subject matter expert. I talk about organization because 1. It is biblical and 2. I need to work on it. I have a slight OCD about how things are cleaned and put away in my home. I often refuse cleaning help because when things are not done my way, I end up having to go back and redo it. If you look at these verses, you can see that 1. We are made in God’s image. 2. God is very organized. I am repeatedly asking myself if the traits that I have are Godly or Worldly. I can remember my children being late for school at least twice a week a few years ago. Over time I have been able to correct this bad habit. I have a few medical problems that team up and make going to bed at night very difficult. While I have these medical problems, I also have bad habits that make going to bed at a decent time, an irregular occurrence. My lack of self-discipline in this area has spilled onto other parts of my life. Such as getting my children out of bed in time to eat and get to school on time. If I am tired or oversleep in the morning, I won’t get a chance to sit in the Word before I wake up my children. Then I might also not have time to make them a nutritious breakfast, pack a nutritious lunch, talk to them with patience, make sure their teeth are brushed… make sure MY teeth are brushed and I am wearing a bra!
We can say all day, “God bless this hot mess”. But is a hot mess what we are really striving for? Let me say, that I am not trying to shame anyone for not having everything together! I know I don’t! (Jesus walk with me!)What I am saying is that while we appreciate that the lord blesses us even when we are a hot mess… That can not be the goal. The goal can not be to just barely get through every day. The goal can not be to get out of bed late and rush around and get our kids to school late and frustrated. The goal should be to work on being transformed more and more into the attributes that the Lord has laid out in his Word.
Over the season of rest, I have worked at becoming more organized and self-disciplined. I have purged bags and bags of clothing. I have thrown out things that I was saving for various projects. I have started projects that I was putting off. I have drastically cut back on the amount of tv time I am allowing myself. My next step is to commit to going to bed by 11pm, meal planning, grocery shopping before we are out of something, and turning off my phone by 10pm.
When we make plans, we have to make tangible plans. If I say, “ I plan to be on my phone less” Who measures what is less?! Plans have to be something you can actually measure. Using words like less or more, is not a complete plan. My phone being off by 10pm would mean that I am on my phone about 3 hours less a day and I may end up falling asleep sooner and get more sleep, allowing me to get up earlier and be more productive in the morning. While the plan may lead to other things that are less and more, the actual plan needs to be specific.
I wanted to share a new planner that I purchased that is also great for those that need to organize more. I bought the Faith and Focus planner. It is a 90 day planner that focuses goals, and abide time along with your schedule. I will share an amazon link below.
The next thing I wanted to share was the school planner that I purchased for my middle schooler. I want him to learn organizing and study skills younger, so he may be more productive later. After reading some reviews from a seasoned tutor and teacher, I found this planner and it seems to be great so far.
I have also found a youtube channel that is just a God-loving woman cleaning and organizing her home. It’s kinda like when you watch a cooking show and think, I could go make that! I watch this channel and think, I could go clean that!
It is interesting when we look back at the Old Testament and read through the genealogy of God’s people. There is significance in knowing the origins of things and people alike. It is amazing to watch how many lives can be changed when one person hears the voice of the Lord and obeys. One woman, Rachel Moix, heard the calling on her life and walked it out. She walked with as many women as she could until the good Lord took her home. A few of the people she walked with included Kellie Lemen, Trista Voos, and myself. We did not all walk with Rachel at the same time, but we all have that same genealogical connection. This connection knits our hearts together in the sweetest way. I was going to interview Kellie later on this summer, but as the Lord would have it, he called another Saint, Jill Lee, home. With that, I found myself up in Kansas City to pay my respects.
Kellie lives on the Missouri side of Kansas City in an amazing historical bungalow that was built in 1915. Anyone that knows me well, knows I LOVE historical things. SO, getting to stay in this home and not some cheap motel was extra special to me. The home looks to have the original floors and windows that I can still picture in my head. I woke up at 4am and got in the car to head to KC from Harrah, ok. When I got there I spent a little time with the Lord and went in the church for the funeral. After the funeral I got to go to dinner with Trista, Summer (another Disciple maker), and Kellie at a great pizza place, that I highly recommend; 1889 Pizza Napoletana.
Chorley: How did you get involved with Disciple making?
Kellie: I hit a phase in my life where I became super hungry. I wouldn’t get enough of the Word. I was being fed but didn’t know how to self-feed. Rachel got diagnosed with Cancer and I remember being called to pray for her. I sent her a package in the mail and gave her scripture. I went to a women’s conference and there was a sermon about getting off the fence. I had been in a phase where I had a double life. I made the decision to be all in and started praying about being discipled. Rachel invited me in after meeting with me one on one.
Chorley: How long did you agree to walk together?
Kellie: We didn’t have a covenant at that time. It was agreed that we would walk as long as we would walk.
Chorley: How long did yall walk together?
Kellie: Right around a year.
Chorley: When we begin to walk with people we don’t just walk with anyone, we are led by the Lord to invite people of peace to follow us as we follow Jesus. What does that look like for you?
Kellie: A lot of prayer. Listening prayer. Thinking about names, praying about names and being super open to who the Lord may be highlighting. The last group, I wrote down exactly how the Lord revealed them to me, so that when things got bad, I could look back to remind myself what the Lord said to me. The harvest is plentiful, and the workers are few, so you have to go up the mountain to find answers. Engaging in conversations to see if my words are big in their ears. If see if they come back to me after I have given them the Word. Watching how they respond to scripture I give them.
Kellie with her first group
Chorley: How long do you generally walk with your groups?
Kellie: It has been about 15-16 month.
Chorley: What is the biggest pillar of faith the Lord has built in you through discipleship?
Kellie: Honestly, some of the time you are feel like you have broken stuff, but you realize that the Lord wants it more than you, so he always makes it happen… There was someone I pushed too hard… and I thought they were going to walk away. When she left that night, she reached out to me to talk about how I handled things and she was super loving and awesome. A pillar was when I realized it isn’t on me.
Chorley: Are all the people that were discipled with you and the women you have released, now making disciples?
Kellie: No.
Chorley: Has that ever caused a shift in you?
Kellie: Yea, for sure. Especially my first group, I learned a lot and know things could have been done better. I wish I had done somethings differently and wonder if that would have spurred more things on.
Chorley: But like you said, it isn’t on you. You can pour into someone, but you can’t force them to pour into others. That is freedom for you and them.
Kellie with her second group
Chorley: What was the biggest lesson you had to learn about the truth of the Gospel?
Kellie: Everything we do matters. The shift of when the Gospel truly takes root in you, and you know what’s at stake. Souls. Everything else in life becomes a lot less important and you can see more clearly. You want to chase people down and show them what the Lord looks like and just love them. I have this saying, that I am always saying… “meanwhile, souls are perishing”. We should turn that into a shirt.
Chorley: Who do you lean on and confide in when you are struggling to make disciples and why?
Kellie: I have two good friends that also make disciples. Trista and Summer. I think it is important to have people who are also in the trenches and understand the process. The joys, the pains, the hurt and frustration. They are always able to encourage me with the Word.
Chorley: What is the slowest thing about making disciples?
Kellie: Depending on the person. The building of relationship and building trust can take a lot of time and it isn’t something you can rush. Also.. individuals learning how to abide.
Chorley: I agree 100%. Learning how to read the word and understand the voice of the Lord for yourself is what leads to true transformation. That is heaven breaking through in your life!
Chorley: Now that we have discussed the importance of being in the Word…How valuable is reading words from others?
Kellie: I think there is place for it and there is value, but it is also never a replacement for the word. I would say that if it isn’t scripture based, it doesn’t hold a lot of weight for me. I have read testimonies that are super important. Paul gave his testimony over and over in the word, so there can be power in our words too.
Chorley: What is the difference between discipleship and small groups?
Kellie: small groups are, low challenge. They are comfy and cozy. No one wants to challenge people with truth because they don’t want the environment to uncomfortable. Small groups are grace heavy and tend to not go as deep. Discipleship is a high challenge. It is very intentional. The people that are invited in, there are high expectations for them. There is high accountability. There are always trust for your information to stay in the room. Everyone knows that everyone in the room is fighting for them.
Chorley: Where have you seen discipleship spill onto different parts of your life that you didn’t expect?
Kellie: EVERYEHERE! When you realize that your life has purpose and that the Lord wants to use you, you seek out moments to be the church all the time! I did a bible study a few weeks ago and I saw fruit from it. I recently got to teach Eat the Word to a co-worker. I get to share Jesus with my very hard neighbors. Even if I am not discipling someone, I can still pour into them. Almost all of my friendships have changed because I can love my friends better and help show them the word and the truth.
Chorley: What advice do you have for people who are not sure about discipleship?
Kellie: You can count the cost but the pay out and the freedom that will come is better than you can ever imagine. It is in the word so why would be not strive for it. If we see Jesus walk with people, why would we not model that?
Chorley: DO you have any questions for me?
Kellie: What compels you to keep writing about discipleship?
Chorley: I have lived a dozen lives in the span of 35 years. I have almost died more times than I can count. I have had medical scare after medical scare. I have this thought that I have one life to live and only so much time left. I never know when the Lord is going to call me home. In that time, I am going to do everything I can to teach the people in my life about Jesus. I want to die knowing that everything the Lord has shown me, I wrote down so that when I am gone there will be a record for my children and their children… for those that are in my genealogy.
Kellie is single and the questions that I have been asking I decided to ask the women that are closest to her. I aske Trista: What is the biggest transformation you have witnessed in Kellie since she has gone through discipleship and is now making Disciples?
Trista Voos, Summer Cole, Kellie Lemen
Trista: Kellie has grown in her confidence at letting the Lord lead her to the right people of peace. I’ve seen the joy in her as she lays her life down to find it. She is quick to repent when she gets sideways and shares her struggles with honest and vulnerable intentions to teach others. She’s consistent to show up for those she loves and relies on the Word to shine through in leading women.
Thank you all for continuing to read this blog and support Disciple making. The Lord has commissioned us all. If you are interested in learning more about making disciples, feel free to email me from the contact page. I know dozens of Disciple Makers that are looking for people that are hungry for the Lord. Be sure to check out the shop for some great shirts.
I was very excited to interview Jennifer for this series. I first met Jennifer on the soccer fields in February 2017. Over the last 4 years and 8 soccer seasons, I have come to know Jennifer in a different way. When I met Jennifer in 2017, I wasn’t sure what to think about her. She had a very stern demeanor and didn’t offer much room for conversation. At least that was my take away. The other thing I can tell you for sure is that I don’t remember her ever mentioning the Lord. I am not saying that she didn’t. I am only saying I never heard her do so. The reality is that I never tried to get to know her. I, like many women I know, had a jacked up sense of identity. I was not living life knowing that I had to find my identity in Jesus. As I began to understand my identity in Christ I was able to understand Jennifer a little more. What I know about Jennifer is this: She loves her kids, She loves the Lord, She loves and submits to her husband, She is kind and always wants to help others. Now she regularly talks about the Lord and what he is doing in her life. It has been amazing to watch her shift. I definitely see Jesus in her. Jennifer attends the Harrah Nazarene Church. What I love seeing is disciple making spread through many different churches.
Chorley: How did Discipleship come to your body and what did that look like for your congregation?
Jennifer: It came to our body through Jamie and Dustin Legrand. Then Dustin Murray also brought a group over to us for a season. It was really funny to me, how I got brought in. There was kind of some bitterness about them(Jamie and Dustin) leaving [the Nazarene church and going to Harrah Church] and that lingered for a long time and it was a big crack in the church. They had been founding members for so long. There were a lot of people that were angry for so long and everyone took it out on that family. I would see them around and I saw how their lives had shifted and changed. I still was a little.. I didn’t want to ask them about it . I noticed but my pride got in the way. I told myself before I went to jujitsu one night, If I see her I am going to ask her. So I sat next to her all night and didn’t ask her. So, the Lord stepped in the way.. Two days later she invited me to a taste and see for her group. I random message. Someone fell through and the Lord told her to invite me. So I refused and the Lord pushed me and I went. We just clicked. It just felt right. I experienced the taste and see. And I knew that is what my heart and soul was looking for. Being part of my church for years, my husband and I knew that what we knew about church was not right. We were spiritually dead and just going through a check list. There were no spiritual conversations happening. Now that I have been through this, we can look back and see how the Lord had moved things over the years for this to happen. Being Open Honest & Vulnerable and getting into the word was what we were missing. We were so busy doing the lords work, we were leaving the Lord out of it. It is hard to talk about how Discipleship came to our church. It was so radical; it was hard for our congregation to except it. It was cool to watch all the disciple makers come into our church, surround us and build us up. They gave us a spiritual facelift.
Chorley: SO, a group of Disciple makers came to your body on mission to make disciples. Is there anything that you think could have been done better? I ask this because it can help others on mission. We can always improve.
Jennifer: I don’t think Dustin’s group did anything wrong. They were very intentional. They were very encouraging. They started conversations that I longed for. The biggest breakdown for our church was that it wasn’t very well communicated what they were there for. I think there was more hesitance when they came because people were confused. I think when they came the wheat really got sorted out. Those that wanted to dig in did. It really breathed new life into the church for us. There were hearts that weren’t prepared to receive their message from God. It was a good learning experience for all of us. Seeing some interested and some not, was good practice for me.
Chorley: How had Discipleship changed the people in your home?
Jennifer: The biggest thing that it changed was the way that I loved my family. I was able to just go through and apply scripture in my life. It changed my marriage. We have always had a good marriage. But we have never had spiritual conversations. Changing to talking about scripture and praying over each other. The closer I got to the Lord, the closer I got to my husband. We have always been attracted to each other physically but never deep conversations and that has changed to where we also have those conversations. We sit on the porch and talk about the word. Me abiding and putting those things to work… the change in me… is what got my husband interested in discipleship. Us going through it at the same time was great. The Lord had put it on my heart to make sure that I was pouring into my kids as well. It wasn’t on the church to do it for me. Everything I was learning in the word was telling me to show my kids as well. My 12-year-old standing up in front of my family and showing our family what he is learning in the word was so encouraging. It was a blessing to see this in my kid. They are innocent and pour and they baffle you with what they learn. It had transformed out entire family atmosphere from crazy and controlling to love and the word of God. The word being and everyday part of our life was not what we used to do.
Chorley: For me, my extended family doesn’t understand because they don’t live with me so they are very much outsiders to discipleship. I know that I want to find ways to show them, but I don’t know what that looks like yet. How has your extended family perceived all of this transformation?
Jennifer: I would say it is actually made a huge difference in me being able to have a relationship with my mom and my stepdad. I didn’t have a bad childhood, but I didn’t know how to be open with my mom. I didn’t know how to have relationship with my mom. I don’t know when that happened. My sister has seen this play out and has shifted her. She is hungry for the Lord, and he has done so many good things for her and she is completely done a 180 in her life. The Lord working on me, shifted her and that built pillars of faith in me. The biggest pillar it built in me was the power of prayer. People have to choose for themselves. I know that he showed up for her not because of my prayers but because he wanted to rescue her.
Chorley: I am an awkward person. All the time. What does it look like for you to make connections with people to where you would invite them into discipleship? It can be hard for some adults to make friends even. What gets you to a point to where you would want to walk with someone for 2 years?
Jennifer: For me it is making sure that someone is hungry. If I task them with something… would they do it. Not everyone responds well to who I am. So, I would have to make sure they would be very real with me. If they are I would not mind investing in them. If I can also me open, honest, and vulnerable with them. It takes me a while to get to know them. I want people to experience what I have experienced. If they are honest and willing to follow my lead… we can walk together. I always pray for the Lord to put people in my path and make it to where I really recognize they are there. I have to be willing to jump when the Lord says jump.
Chorley: I know that many people have told me I am in a cult. Many. It is a long running joke with a lot of us. How has that experience been for you?
Jennifer: I haven’t had too many people tell me personally that I was in a cult. But I felt it at first. I had a feeling like, what are they in to? But then I prayed about it and asked the Lord to show me that it isn’t a cult. That people are just modeling what Jesus modeled. As discipleship came to our church, many people said, that is just a cult. I had to learn to keep my mouth closed because I wanted people to change their mind themselves. Those same people who first thought it was a cult have since gone through discipleship. It is easy that once you set your mind on something, that you believe it is truth. This process is just going after the Lord and the way church was always intended to be.
Chorley: What lies about the Lord or religion do you think you were taught? Not like someone tried to deceive you, but it was just an untruth that may still be taught today by people that just don’t know any better.
Jennifer: I know that people didn’t mean to mislead me. I think believing that salvation being the end of your journey is a lie. It is just the beginning. You can claim to have a relationship with the Lord, but after being saved, you are good, there is nothing else… that’s not the truth. There is so much more to growing and developing a relationship with the Lord. Reading your Bible and learning to know and talk to the Lord. That is our biggest defense against this crazy world.
Chorley: In your opinion what was the hardest part about discipleship?
Jennifer: The hardest part for me was not having one of the girls I walked with, be released with us. Watching how hard the process was and wanting it to be different for them. You form these bonds and friendships that you want to go through things the same. That was not how it went. It was hard to be released without my sister by my side. It was bittersweet and I wanted to cry the whole time. It hurt my heart in a way that many other things didn’t. When someone you love this much hurts, you feel it.
Chorley: How do you think discipleship has changed how you operate in other areas of your life? You work at a school, and you are on a soccer board.. how have you changed in those areas?
Jennifer: The biggest thing that has changed is that I used to be a very hard person. I have learned to show a lot of grace to kids that may be having a hard day, or co-workers that are struggling. I have learned to respond better to the people that I am around. It has also made me bolder in sharing the word with people that I am around. People that might not know where to look for help. I am just a happier person. I am more confident. Confidence is not something that I have always had. Knowing who I am in the Lord has changed everything. Knowing he has made me a certain way and that has changed everything. People wonder how I went from quiet to happy go lucky.
Chorley: I know that a lot of women buck up at submitting to their husband or a lot of husbands hold a Lordship over their wife. What has the Lord taught you about biblical submission to your husband?
Jennifer: I used to view submission to my husband as a weakness. I needed to be independent. I didn’t want to be told what to do. It was instilled in me that I can make my own choices and not rely on anyone else. In doing that I was also shutting the Lord out of that and what he wanted to do for me in protecting me and guiding me. He put it in me that I wasn’t only blocking my husband but that I wasn’t letting him fully love me. The lord put it on me that I needed to respect my husband and let him lead me. The biggest thing I could do was open the lines of communication and both of us stop assuming and see where we really stood on things. We started make decisions together and let him lead our family and make decisions. Me taking control all the time was stunting him from fully leading us. I think it is super important. Submission is not jump when he says so. It is mutual respect. It is making sure we are both moving towards the Lord because that is ultimately what brings the two of us closer. It is walking out your own obedience. When your spouse isn’t moving toward the Lord, you still need to submit and do what the Lord leads you to do.
Chorley: What has you submitting to your husband taught your children?
Jennifer: It has taught them that we don’t have to do life alone. We were always meant to go through life with other people helping us. Submitting in this way has taught them what true love and partnership looks like. It shows them how to work with someone for a single goal. Us modeling that for them will show them what to look for when they go to find a husband or a wife. They want to be with someone who will work with them and unity in a marriage is so important. I hope and pray that we are showing them a biblical model of marriage. Allowing God to be at the head of it all has shown them how it should be. We don’t always agree on everything, but there is a way to handle things without storming out or living bitter. We made a choice early on that we are not going to leave each other. This marriage is not temporary. It teaches them respect and to value one another’s opinion.
Chorley What are your hopes or goals for your future in disciple making?
Jennifer: My hope would be that I can show other people how to have a real relationship with the Lord and how to grow that. It is the biggest thing I see missing in most churches that we see today. I want to model that so other people can experience what God wants for people. I want people to experience the transformation that I have. I want them to feel him like I do and choose him more. My only real goal is to point others towards Jesus.
Chorley Are you currently reading anything, outside of the word?
Jennifer: I still want to read, AT home with the Hebrews. I also am about to start a devotional called, the well-watered life.
I got the chance to ask Jennifer’s husband and her spiritual mother a question. I like these because it gives an amazing witness testimony.
Chorley: How has Jennifer changed since going through Discipleship?
Roy Evans (Jennifer’s husband): There are several things that have changed with her since she started in a discipleship group. Our marriage is much better. A huge issue with our marriage was our kids combined with her father figure issues. She desperately wanted me to be a part of the kids life (so did I) but to do that I had to conform to something that was not possible to conform to and then she would be frustrated and withdraw her self and the kids making it harder for me to be a part of anything. The group of women she was with brought this to the surface for her and while things aren’t perfect they are much better. She doesn’t try to make me conform any more she accepts who I am and allows me the space to be the father I can be. I could keep going but i will move on. Another major change is her understanding of God. Most people that go to church seem to think that activity brings them closer to God. New\baby christians are taught this by default because the need for volunteers to keep the churches running is so high. The activities are a great way to build fellowship with your new church family but it can get confusing to someone who has not been taught how to study the bible. She has shed alot of the “church” things in favor of studying the word for herself. She has shed alot of the “church” things in favor of being a teacher of the word to our children. She has learned to show mercy to baby christians who think they are doing Gods work while (unintentionally) destroying something that she is working towards. The thing I am most proud of though is the balance she is starting to attain between studying\sharing Gods word and staying active doing Gods work. Being in a discipleship group myself I have been introduced to several other groups. In discussion with members of these groups I find many are stuck in what seems to be an attitude of study only and popcorn scripture reference (to be fair I dont know many of these people well and may be off on my perception). The bible points to answered prayer being because your attitude is such that you want what God wants in the first place because of how close you are to him. The book of James, specifically james 2:17, says faith without works is dead. James spends alot of time calling out people that should be working as well as communing. To see her commune with God while working to serve him is an awesome thing for me.
Chorley: What did you learn from discipling Jennifer?
Jamie Legrande: The determination that one person could have. At 1st I thought Jenn would be hard to shift. However she had break through early on. Once the Lord broke through in her life she has been determined to always hear and obey the Lord.
As some of you know, the interview I had lined up, didn’t work out. So, I had people submit questions to me. There were some really great questions in here. I did cry when I was answering some of them. The ones that reminded me of pillars of faith that the lord has built obviously made me cry. Talking about the things the Lord has done or things in the Word, usually makes me weepy. I appreciate all of you and I hope this finds you well. I especially appreciate those that submitted a question. This is about a 13 minute read because I felt that some of these required a longer answer. Know that while I answer these questions, I am no expert and the Lord has everyone walk through different things and deal with things differently. I open up about some stuff on here that may get me shunned by some people, but it may help other people. No worries… I’m here for the other people.
Erica Spangler: What is Disciple making to you?
I love this question. I love it because there is so many different definitions for Disciple making or Discipleship. We live in a culture that is quick to change so many things to make them easier. I have seen this done with Disciple making as well. I have seen that there can be a difference in methods and practices between churches and groups. I don’t think that I can stand up and say that any are just straight wrong or that the way that I do it is THE right way. I can say that many are not biblical. By not biblical, I mean that there are many methods of “Discipleship” that we see in today’s culture, that are not modeled in the Word for us. When I read the Word, I see Jesus regularly meeting with the people he is walking with. He gives them the word. He teaches them the things God taught him. He is intentional with them. He also has moments of enjoying them and getting to know the things that their hearts beat for, while showing them the things of the kingdom that their heart should beat for. As he walks with people, the desires of their hearts change. He shares with their burdens, and he strengthens and encourages them. He sacrifices for them. He gives grace when grace is needed. He gives truth when truth is needed. That is Disciple making to me. I strive to mirror his model and always point back to him and not myself.
Michayla Wiegert: How has Discipleship changed you? As a person, as a wife and a mother?
There is not a quick answer. I don’t have this idea that I have arrived at any final point. I am a super flawed person who still regularly sins and is always asking the Lord to work on me. I used to be a different person completely. My emotions controlled a lot of what I did. I still struggle with anxiety and depression and PTSD. I know that there are things that have happened in my life, or I have done that have changed the chemistry in my brain. From, being raped, to having an abortion, to being addicted to drugs, to being an alcoholic, to having two heart attacks, to infertility, to cervical cancer, to loosing dozens of friends in Iraq and dozens more to suicide, to surviving a suicide attempt, my brain has changed. I have asked the Lord to take away my PTSD issues and for now, he has said no. I think that me continuing to walk through life and discipleship with this battle keeps me humble and keeps me empathetic. Oddly, I am thankful for all of these things. It is living through these things and walking through Discipleship that I am able to see God in all of these situations. Every single one of them. My relationship with the Lord has changed in the same ways as my relationship with my husband. I went from being a bitter and ungrateful wife to a loving full of grace wife who submits to her husband in ways I was never raised to. I went from being a distant and strict mother to a kind, teaching, hugging mom.
Melanie Vaughn: What is your favorite part of Disciple Making?
My favorite part of Disciple making is watching the moment when someone I have walked with, realizes how much the Lord loves them and they bend their knees and cry out to him with huge tears of joy. That is the moment when I see heaven break through in them. It is a huge gift to be able to witness this. I’m weeping just thinking about it. I think it is the most beautiful thing in the world.
Tamyara Henson: Is there anyone that you have walked with or are walking with that when the Lord first placed them in front of you, your first thought was: Absolutely Not? How did you walk through that?
Oh yes! Debbie Larrison. The general rule is that you usually walk with people that are equal or younger age and that are not as far along as you are spiritually. Debbie is more than a couple decades older than me. In fact, her husband had been friends with my dad for almost three decades. Well, I remember when the Lord put her in front of me and we didn’t really know each other too well. I thought, “There is absolutely nothing that I could ever teach her that she doesn’t know. She will never submit to my authority in the room as a teacher.” The Lord kept leading me to scripture to change my mind and showing me examples of the fruit that can come. Well, boy was I wrong. Debbie and I walked together for 2 years and continue to live life together. She is now a part of my family. The Lord knew that I would need her to walk through losing my spiritual mother. I have sat through memorial services for over 50 people. This loss was the hardest loss in my life and I still struggle to talk about Rachel without crying. Debbie was who the Lord sent to walk me through that. Trust his plans. He knows what he is doing. Everyone the Lord sends you is either a gift or a lesson. Debbie was both.
Jamie Legrand: In Disciple making, we are asked to lay our lives down. How would you define what that means? How does that look for you as a wife, mom, etc?
The best way to explain laying your life down for someone is: Constantly choosing them over yourself and your own comfort. Will my choices be hard for me but allow them to see Jesus? Will I have to do hard things and have a little bit of suffering for them to see the kingdom breakthrough. Laying your life down in Discipleship should always lead to more Jesus and not more sin. If you are watching someone’s kid so they can go out and get drunk… that’s not laying your life down for them. Laying your life down means that you are sacrificing for someone else’s good.
Ashley Fitzpatrick: This is my first rest season being a Disciple maker and was wondering what rest season looks like for you?
Rest season looks different for everyone. Everyone’s life is so different. I mean most people don’t quit their job during rest season. So, I don’t either. I am retired from the Army, so I don’t have a job that requires me to show up every day. My job is making Disciples, writing, and selling a t-shirt here and there. I tell the people that I am walking with, that rest season is when I become less so the Lord can become more. They lean more on the Lord than on me. They are filled up more by the Lord than me. This gives me more time to be filled up with the Lord. However, crisis happens. Matthew tells us that when Jesus heard about John the Baptists death, he withdrew from the crowd to a desolate place. But the crowd followed him. Jesus’ response was not, go away I need the Lord to fill me up first. He responded with compassion and healed their sick, then when the Disciples told Jesus to send them away to find their own food, he said, “ They need not go away, bring them to me” Jesus fed them and by the grace of God, after Jesus fed them there was plenty of leftovers. I may not be seeking people out and trying to walk with them, but if the Lord sends someone to me, I will not send them away. I will feed them with the word and the Lord will bless me with leftovers that will sustain me.
Alex Evans: What was the turning point in your life that led you to follow the Lord wholeheartedly?
My identity has been jacked my whole life. I never really knew who I was and I always felt abandoned by someone. When I found out I had to retire from the Army it destroyed me. I was being abandoned by the Army just like I had been abandoned by many men in my life. I chose death over losing anything else. I attempted suicide and things didn’t go as planned. It was a miracle. As I drove to the mental health office afterwards I knew that Christ was calling me to him, but it was like driving through fog for the next 6 years. After being hurt by so many men in my life, it took two men sitting me down and showing me exactly what the Lord says about me in the Word. While they were showing me in Ephesians 1, the Lord drew me to Ephesians 2: 4-6. But God- being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ- by grace you have been saved- and raised up with him and seated with us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus. This broke me in the best way. It has become my life’s mission to tell everyone about the Lord and how he rescued me.
Lindsey Hartman, Madison Pierce, Jill English: What’s your most difficult challenge in making Disciples and Why?
Oh, the Kairos. A Kairos is a moment in time where heaven is trying to break through in someone’s life. When I am walking with people I see things that they need to change. It is not always my place to tell them what to do and when to do it. There will be a moment in time that the Holy Spirit comes into a situation, and it takes practice to figure out when to push on a subject and when to sit back and wait. I have to make sure that it is Spirit led and not Andi led. You can’t force someone to walk away from sin. Sometimes you have to hand them over to their sin, like Paul said in 1 Corinthians 5.
Jill English: What does it look like to juggle all the things at home while you are having D-Group?
I used to meet with women on Friday night. So, I would get dinner ready, take my son and drop him of at practice with a mom that would bring him home. (Amazing friend!) Then I would come home and get the house ready, and my husband would get home from a 15 hour day at work and help with my little girls while the women arrived. My husband would eat with the girls while I ate with the women in my group, because there is so much significance in breaking bread together. Then we would move to my office to continue group. By the time the women left for the evening, my family was usually in bed. My current group meets on Wednesday nights. It is way more challenging now. I have a 11, 8, and 6 year old. My husband goes to bed at 2pm on Wednesday nights and gets up for work around 9pm. One daughter had to miss her Wednesday night soccer practice this past season because there was not a mom that I was willing to leave her with. That is a sacrifice that we chose. So, I get the kids home from school, get homework done with them, get the house cleaned up, usually holler at someone to stop fighting, get dinner ready, tell the kids they need to be quiet and not scream and wake their dad up, the women arrive, I usually have to move t-shirts and order forms off my couches in the office so they can set their stuff down, I make the kids plates and set them in front of the TV, and the women and I go to the dinning room to break bread. After dinner we make our way to my office for group. I have two couches and a chair so there is plenty of room to sit, though everyone usually sits in the same place every week. I always have to step out of the office to break up a fight or tell someone to be quiet at least twice an evening. When my husband gets up at 9, I step into the kitchen and make his sandwiches, the ladies take a restroom break, and I send the kids to bed. Then I make my way back to the office and we resume until we are done. After group, after I kick everyone out for the night, I often stay up for a couple hours to detox emotions so that I don’t wake up heavy. So, my answer is that I juggle it as it comes but I couldn’t just say that… I had to explain my chaos so you could see that it is truly a juggling act that requires a lot of grace for everyone including myself.
Alysha Fletcher: How do you handle kids and Discipling? Private matters are often discussed, and kids can intrude on those moments. At least in my home, my children want to be with me all the time.
It can be difficult. You walk this fine line of modeling for your children and also knowing that small ears have big mouths. My group will discuss their highs and lows in the dinning room that has no closed doors, but our main talks happen behind a closed door. My husband gave me a huge gift when he remodeled my office to accommodate a discipleship group. An office with a lockable door. We are not without interruptions even with a lockable door. There have been times when I had to rock a toddler to sleep during group or a mom had to bring her infant for a year. Teaching kids that you love them but also explaining to your kids why they shouldn’t be in the room with you all the time is a huge lesson for them. It takes time and consistency for everyone to stick to a plan. I took all my kids on a one-on-one date and taught them the importance of having alone time with me. It helped them to respect the time I have with my women more.
Alysha Fletcher: How do you help people you know you are supposed to walk with; overcome obstacles (like having small children and no help from a spouse) that seem to make entering a Discipling relationship difficult?
There is a verse in Isaiah 57 that says, “ build up, build up, prepare the way, remove every obstruction from my People’s way”. I would find out what the obstacle is and if the woman wants help removing that obstruction. If she does, seek help from your village. If she wants help, the Lord will make a way. If she doesn’t… it will always be an excuse.
I can’t remember exactly how long ago I met Tamyara. I also don’t remember the exact moment that we became family. I guess that is because C.S. Lewis was right about store’ love. You don’t know when exactly it starts, you only recognize it once it has already happened. When I met Tamyara, she was not a person of peace for me. The things she said rubbed me the wrong way and I my words did not rest with her. At least they didn’t rest in any good way. I also knew that I had no fans in her family. The reality is that we both had some growing up to do. It took a few years of learning how to love people for who they are and recognizing that unity in the body brings peace. There are always growing pains that come with maturing. I can honestly say that through all this maturing, I have felt the pain. Watching the Lord transform Tamyara has made it all worth it.
Tamyara has faced her fair share of growing pains. She has also pruned many dead branches and has shown sustainable fruit in her life. Tamyara Henson is married to Chad Henson. They have two boys, Benjamin(13) and Noah(12). They live in Midwest City, Ok. Tamyara was born and raised in eastern Oklahoma county. She went to Randall University straight out of high school and currently works for a tag agency. Tamyara is part of the Worship team ministry and my dear friend lives with chronic pain. I have a lot of sympathy for anyone that is dealing with pain all the time. I pray you read this very raw, honest and vulnerable interview with grace.
Chorley: From the moment that discipleship kicked off at Harrah Church? How did your journey of Discipleship go?
Tamyara: I was not on board with it from the beginning. The shift in culture and misunderstandings lead to all of my extended family leaving the church. This created a lot of family tensions that I still deal with today. I was invited into a second-generation group, then it was swept out from under me.
Chorley: When you say that it was swept out from under you what do you mean by that?
Tamyara: I was invited into a group. We met and had dinner as a group. We set up when we were going to meet and laid out how things would go and everyone was really excited… Two days later we received a phone call that we are not going to have a group it is just not going to happen.
Chorley: How did being invited into a group and then it failing to launch impact you?
Tamyara: It hurt. To be blunt. I was pissed. I was already having identity problems and it really messed with those issues that were already there. I allowed a negative situation to have a bigger impact on me than it had to and for longer than it had to.
Chorley: I’m walking with you, so I already know.. but for those that don’t know you, how long were you not in a group after that situation happened?
Tamyara: A little over a year.
Chorley: What did you have to resolve with yourself and the Lord before you could even attempt to be in a disciple making group again?
Tamyara: I had to walk through a lot of identity stuff. I had to sit with him on that and truly know what it meant that there is a time and place for everything and the Lord had a purpose for this all to play out.
Chorley: Did you join a newly started group?
Tamyara: No. I had some women that I knew were purposely meeting with me to possibly invite me in at some point. I didn’t know it would be to be with a group that was already started. But I did start with a group that had already been meeting for a year.
Chorley: How was it joining a group that had already walked together for a year?
Tamyara: It was very awkward. Since I was having identity issues, the first night I walked in it felt like , hey I’m the rotten one of the bunch.
Chorley: What exactly made you think that?
Tamyara: When things fell apart with the first group, I really felt tossed aside.
Chorley: After the first night… how did it go?
Tamyara: It went better each week. Like… Each week I dreaded it less and the dread was not as heavy.
Chorley: How was the learning curve joining a group that had already been together for so long?
Tamyara: I always felt like there were times that I could speak up and have things explained better to me. Everyone in the room would answer my questions freely.
Chorley: When you say less dread, what exactly were you dreading?
Tamyara: I was dreading being vulnerable, I was dreading opening up more and more of myself each week. For a long time, I felt like I put on a show. But at d group you are open, honest and vulnerable and everyone is going to see your flaws and this is not the Tamyara that they see on Sundays.
Chorley: DO you think the western church culture has set us up to hide our authentic selves?
Tamyara: I think it has. Growing up in that culture, you are basically taught that the things that happen at home are kept at home. You are to be pleasing at church on Sunday even if your life is falling down around you. You hide your junk. This perfect Christian. I know that I catch myself trying to wear the weight of what people say about me. It is hard and I cant let that define me. Disciple making culture is different than western church culture. Disciple making culture gives you more freedom to be who Christ says you are.
Chorley: What is it that made you realize that others can’t define you?
Tamyara: What the Bible says about my identity. If the Lord set me apart, why should I let what other people say about me have any weight in my life?
Chorley: What did it look like the first time someone fought for your freedom in group?
Tamyara: It wasn’t in group; it was one on one with you over the phone. It was when me you and Robin were meeting and I had fallen asleep 3 times while we were meeting. I was so embarrassed. I thought I had only fallen asleep once. It was then that you brought to my attention, how badly I was addicted to pain pills and muscle relaxers. It literally made me feel ill. I made a promise to you that I was going to come off of those medications. I started going through withdrawal immediately. I came to group going through withdrawal. I sat at your table sicker than a dog. And.. had to be driven home by Brittany because I was so sick. But every day I could feel more and more freedom. I could be open to accept what the Lord had for me and his plan for me. I was able to actually absorb more at group and be more present minded with those around me.
Chorley: When we were on the phone and when you were going through withdrawals next to the dinner rolls… how did the group respond?
Tamyara: With grace that I did not deserve. I remember, I can’t remember who said it… but when I went to leave for the night…someone said, well, you stayed longer than we expected you to stay. They all poured into me all week. I remember Brittany talking SO much on my drive home and I just couldn’t listen any more because I was so sick. I remember I got home and Chad met us in the drive way, I got out of the car and puked.
Chorley: So, you didn’t get released at the end of that year with the rest of everyone. You got what I respectfully call, recycled. What was that like for you?
Tamyara: The night that the group got released, was bittersweet. I was so happy for them. But it brought back those old feelings. Like if my original group had started, I would be released too. But I also know that it is the Lords will. He has plans for me. I’m also the type that I was excited to join a new group and get to know new women as intimately as I knew these women that were being. I know that when I am released that those women will be just as happy for me as I was for them.
Chorley: So, first you were invited to a group. It failed to launch. Then you were meeting with me, and another woman and mornings were not working for you. Then I asked you to join my already started group, a year late… and you were with that group for a year until they were released. Then you continued with me into another group…. How did that go?
Tamyara: The first night it was just Robin, Cheyanna, Andi and Me… Then the next six weeks I didn’t show up. I let a lot of things influence my decision to check out. My health, not feeling worthy, being insecure, having to open up fresh wounds, having to tell my Jesus story with every new group, I had fallen back into the relying on pain medicine and worldly things to get me through, not abiding with the Lord, and feeling disgusting inside would determine if I was going to group. I would wake up the morning of group and just decide, nope… not going today. After six weeks of me not showing up, You pulled me out of service and we skipped the message and went to the lobby to talk. You told me, “You have to crap or get off the pot, either way, which ever you decide I love you” You also reminded me what I promised in the covenant that I signed. A couple days after that, I called and told you I was stepping away for a break from Discipleship. Then we were on our way to see family, on the way there I got a text from Whitney, because Chad was going to help her prepare for house church. I don’t remember the scripture, but that got Chad and I talking which led Chad to pour Scripture into me, which prior to that moment, I always fought against because I didn’t want to come up with a plan to change things. The trip to see family took two hours. In that two hours, three different times I opened up to Chad some things that I had kept buried that every time it was brought up, I would almost vomit, but it was like once I got that stuff out of my mouth, I had this freedom inside, that unless you are abiding you wouldn’t understand. In that two hours, Chad helped me realize how good discipleship can be and one of the things that I had opened up to him about was that I was intimidated by you. I remember him telling me that if there is anyone that understands me with my health issues… its Andi. It was over that weekend that I finally truly sat down with the Lord and the covenant that you gave me and it was that following Sunday at the all church celebration that I sat down with you again. I was able to really open up to you and be honest about what had been going on and why I had stepped away and ran. I repented for not holding up my end of the covenant and handed you a new signed covenant. After me being gone for 5 months, You showed me grace and just accepted me back. That was the worst and hardest 5 months. It was worse than the year after the first group that failed to launch. I came back to group as soon as our season of rest was over and it was You, Robin, Cheyanna, Shelby (Who I had never met) and me. This season has been good. When I leave here on Wednesday, I look forward to the next week. The first night I came back, it was like I had never left.
Chorley: There was a night this year that I was too sick from a fibromyalgia flare up, to lead group. How did that go for you?
Tamyara: You contacted me and asked me about leading at my home, but we are in the middle of home repairs… so you told me, I could cancel group, or find somewhere to meet. It was my choice. I chose to reach out to the ladies and see who could host. Robin opened her home. The week leading up to me leading group on my own… gave me no anxiety. None. Which is not like the old Tamyara. I went from not showing up at all and coming up with excuses eight months ago to leading group when you were sick and not even present to assist me. It was good for all of us. Especially me. I had always felt that I might not be able to do this or lead well, but that night showed me that I am capable and equipped. I sat with the Lord and asked for guidance and the Lord just revealed to me that the number one thing that I could teach was the identity triangle; Which is a disciple making tool we use to show us in scripture how our identity needs to be found in Christ.
Chorley: What are you most excited about for your future?
Tamyara: I Just started a new job, I am helping direct people to the Lord, Discipleship is going well and I’m excited to see what the Lord has in store for me.
I like to ask family members for their 2 cents. So I asked Benjamin, Tamyara’s son: How have you seen the Lord change your mom over the last 2 years?
–My mom has grown more confident in the Word. She turns to scripture before anything else. She listens to the word and obeys it.
Then I asked her husband Chad: What is one thing that everyone needs to know about Tamyara’s transformation through Discipleship?
–Before entering a discipling relationship, Tamyara’s identity was defined by what people thought of her and said about her. She had a fear of being left out. She tried hard to fit in no matter what it took. She saw the results of discipleship in other women at our church and wanted those same things in her life. We had many conversations about why she wasn’t chosen to be discipled in the beginning. She took exclusion as a sign that she wasn’t good enough or popular enough. It really jacked with her identity. Now, as Tamyara walks with you (Chorley) in a discipling relationship, I’ve seen her grow so much. Tamyara is secure in who she is in Christ. The words and actions of people no longer define her. They still hurt sometimes but she knows what Ephesians 1 says and what God says about her. She knows the truth and lets the truth set her free. I am watching now as people are beginning to see Jesus in her. The transformation has been incredibly sweet to watch. I’ve been watching my wife become my ministry partner. I thank God for her.
I pray this interview finds you well and encourages you as much as it has me.
I thought now would be a great time to interview some Disciple Making women. One thing that I know; is that Disciple making does not rest on just one person. It rests on the Lord and everyone doing their part. There is no ultimate Disciple maker on Earth. Just as I do not believe that there is an ultimate way to make disciples. I know how I make disciples and I know that it works for me. There are varying ways and as long as you are striving to imitate Christ in the method in which you are attempting to make disciples, who can say you are wrong.
Meeting with Jenny on a Friday morning is easier for me than some. She may live out in the middle of nowhere Oklahoma, but that nowhere is only 15 minutes from my home. This made the drive quick. When I pulled up to the Brockman’s new home, I was greeted by Jenny and four smiling boys covered in dirt. I don’t say this because they are dirty feral boys. I say this because Jenny is a mom that allows her boys to run around and get dirty and explore their 40 acre property. They have a couple cows, a couple dogs and couple kittens. After getting my three actually feral children on their way to fun town, I headed inside. Her floors were clean, and her laundry room doors were pulled shut just like mine would have been. I took my shoes off and headed to find a seat on the couch. Jenny talked about her dislike of her couches but all I could think about while she spoke was the memories and miracles that those couches had been through. The first night I met Jenny, I remember seeing those couches. I believe those couches came from Jenny’s mom or grandmother, but I don’t remember for sure. I remember from the story; they were perfect when they came. Those couches were present for Jenny to relax after her hysterectomy. They were a comforting place to sit while she mourned the loss of her mentor. They were present when Jenny laid her life down and helped women fight for freedom from things of this world that held them down. Those couches are where I sat and listened to David mourn for a family member that he wanted to help but didn’t know how and in the same breath tell me how he was praying for my husband. Those couches are well worn because the Lord saw fit to give Jenny and David the responsibility of raising four boys. Those couches are well worn because Jenny and David have been commissioned to have dozens of men and women sit in their home and cry out the things of the Lord. The prayers that have been prayed on those couches and the tears that have stained the fabric have been gifts from the Lord. We praise God for those well-worn couches.
Jenny with her first group
So, here is how our chat went…
Andi: How do you think Discipleship has affected your family?
Jenny: I think it has only been good for my family. They have to give up their time too. But it also costs them something too. Every single week. The have to do extra cleaning share Mom and Dad two nights a week. But especially being in this house we are better. In the old house we would eat and close the doors and we would be completely shut off, so the kids could not really see what was going on. Here they eat their dinner at the bar, and they will have their own conversations over there. But usually when they are done, we will still be doing highs and lows at the table, and the boys will come around and prop themselves up on their knees over here and put their elbows in the windows over there (next to the table where all of Jenny’s women are sitting) and listen to us talk about what is good and what is bad and what the Lord is teaching us. It is good for them to get and see the importance of Discipleship and how everyone plays a role. They are learning stuff in the word they may have not otherwise. They are also learning from other people than Just us. From reliable people.
Andi: Out of all the people that have come into your home, besides you and David, who do you think has had the biggest impact on their (her kids) lives?
Jenny: Can I answer that in a different way? Or give you an answer to a slightly different question? The women and men that come into my house really love my kids. There are a few that take a special interest in my kids. There are people who Discipleship has brought into our home, but David didn’t necessarily disciple. They don’t owe us anything. Like… I feel like I owe Rachel something. She laid her life down for me. There are people around us like: Michael Farris, Dustin Hunt, Chris Moix, and Dan Dixon. When my kids are behaving in a way that is inconsistent with who they are, these men use every opportunity to pour into them. They remind them who they are. They give them the word; they give them homework and unconditional love. Probably two or three years ago, Chris taught Garett who he is. After washing him in the word, the voice of the Lord for Garett was that “ I am a man of integrity and I am a man who considers others before himself”. I was like, oh that’s cool. But then Chris actually did it. When he would see my son, he would say: “hey, who are you?” Even to this day Chris initiates conversations with Garett by saying, “Hey, who are you?”. And that longevity and that constant “you are making dumb choices, but your choices don’t define you, Jesus does” That constant reminder has made a giant impact on his life. When you love my kids well, you are loving me well.
The second group of women who walked with Jenny
Andi: Including Rachel, there were originally 9 women in our group. Some have since passed away or walked away from Disciple making. What does is say to you when you see people that were so invested in this, just walk away? Because we have been people in many groups that have walked away either during the process or after they have been released and commissioned. Not what does this say about them, but how does this impact you?
Jenny: It makes me sad. When you have done hard things with people… many hard things. When you share all the real things about yourself, there is a bond formed. It is crazy. I never had sisters. I have one brother. Now I have sisters. So, to have gained a bunch of sisters and to have lost some sisters, it is hard.
Andi: Do you think there is mourning phase that takes place when this happens or when someone breaks covenant?
Jenny: Yes.
Andi: How do you walk through that?
Jenny: The first few times I walked through it, it jacked up my identity. Whether it was from someone who walked away and made the choice that yea, I don’t want to do this after release or during the process. I default back into people pleasing and trying to earn it. But now I also think that the road is narrow, and few find it. I think that is true. It is narrow, rocky and has sharp drop offs and few people want to walk on it. It is hard.
Andi: I agree, when you have moments like this or other hard things you are walking through, does your husband pour into you and give you help and guidance?
Jenny: yes, he does, and he gives me the word and fights for my freedom. However, I have learned about my identity from Rachel, David taught me, I have taught others, and yet It was still a not working for me. David knows I come at it from a different level. I was always a good kid! I didn’t make bad choices. I didn’t have sex before marriage. I didn’t do drugs. I didn’t do things that upset my parents. I earned it. I was a good girl. The angle that I had to approach my identity from was, HUMBLE YOURSELF SINNER! So, where Jesus taught me my identity, it wasn’t Rachel or David or Chris, Jesus taught me from Romans 9:11
Though they were not yet born and had nothing either good or bad- in order that God’s purpose of election might continue, not because of works but because of him who calls.
So, basically before anything, before they had done good or bad, God had elected them to chosen for part of this story. I have tried to explain this to people and I have yet to explain it good. I know my righteousness is filthy rags! They people around me have seen me struggle with identity and tried to help me, but ultimately it was Jesus that taught me.
Andi: So, the question was, how does David help you… and your answer is he doesn’t.
Jenny: (Hysterical Laughing) No, he does help me with things all the time and he walk me through things. Just not identity.
Andi: What is the biggest myth about 1st generation disciple makers.
Jenny: That we have our lives more together than anyone else. We are hot messes too.
Andi: What do you think are the dangers of putting Disciple makers on a pedestal?
Jenny: Well, it is a little interesting isn’t it. What we do is, follow me as I follow Jesus. I am going to endeavor to lay my life out as something for you to imitate. So, there is some of that, that we do. But! Those people that I am in covenant with know and see all the sin that I reveal to them when we meet in my living room. There is not a pedestal in my living room because they see the way I am and the words I say and watch me get on my knees and repent in front of them. So, you are setting people up for failure or disappointment because when you put someone on a pedestal , they will fall and fail you. Jesus is the only one that can be on that pedestal. This is what the Lord says, “ Have mercy on me, O’ God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my inequity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions and my sin is ever before me. -Psalm 51:1-3
That’s for me, that’s for you, that’s for our first gen group, that’s for Chris Moix, that’s for all of us.
About a week ago I called David (Jenny’s husband) and asked him a couple questions and I think this is one of my favorite things to do. In a world where people are so ready to complain about their spouse, I choose to be around people who choose to biblically love and respect their spouse. I asked David, “How has discipleship changed Jenny? How has Jenny having been discipled and now making Disciples changed your marriage? And is there anything anyone NEEDS to know about your wife?” David finally called me this past Friday to give me his answer. He tried to clear his throat, but I could almost hear the weight behind his voice as he began his answer. This told me that he meant every word that he was about to say. That the words he was about to say about his wife had stirred his soul.
“Jenny didn’t play sports as a kid. She was never really part of a team. I never saw Jenny as someone who was willing to do hard things. I was a youth pastor for a while and Jenny just saw herself as a youth pastor’s wife. My job was my business and my job to figure out and she was just there to help me for services. My wife has become someone that continuously hears the voice of the Lord and chooses to do hard things for the kingdom. My wife has become someone that I am equally yoked with. She is on my team. My wife has become someone who always lays her life down for others. My wife now owns the fact that she is a minister of the Gospel. She bends to the weight of the Lord. I know that she could make Disciples without me… but couldn’t without her. She lays her life down for our family, the women she walks with and the men I walk with. She does things for my group that I can’t do for hers. I love her.” -David Brockman
Thank you all for stopping by to learn more about just one of the amazing Disciple making women that I will be interviewing over this season of rest. If you would like to reach out to Jenny you can email her at: Jenny@harrahchurch.org
I have been known to be a competitive person. The only friend I have that I know is way more competitive than me is Emily. We grew up together, and we were doubles partners in tennis. As adults we are both soccer fans and more so, big Jesus fans. You definitely get a close up look at how competitive someone is when they compete in a non-contact sport. This is not an expose’ on Emily. This is a quick note for you about the things that we tend to compete with each other on. The non-contact stuff.
Social media is not what makes us competitive. I have heard many people talk about how if it weren’t for social media and reality shows, we wouldn’t have people competing over looks, wealth, and status. This is a huge lie that we have been led to believe. If you look at the book of Galatians, you can see how it is not the outright lies that led us astray… it is the slight lies.
I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel. Not that there is another one but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the Gospel. Galatians 1:6-7
We have to look at the world and understand that the devil works in very cunning ways. He does not put something out there that is always a blatant lie. He puts half truths out there. It is harder to argue a half truths. When we look at social media; we can look at the side that causes division in marriages and jealousy between women or we can look at the side that shares the Gospel with someone who may not see it anywhere else for the rest of the day. I do want to add that, if social media is a lord in your life, by all means ditch it! We need to understand that it is not the “looks” and the “likes” that people are competing for on social media. Those are just things that are surface level. What is really being competed for is the gratification and worthiness that comes from the looks and the likes. We all have this desire to be wanted and to be found worthy. The desire to get likes and complements from everyone on social media is not a new feeling or desire. If we look all the way back to Cain, we find this emptiness. If we look at the brothers that threw Joseph in a well, we see this emptiness. If we look at Martha, we can see this emptiness. I use the word emptiness on purpose. All of these things can be seen as jealousy, or anger, or feelings of worthlessness, or a need for recognition.
Every time that we see broken people in the Word or in the World, we are seeing people that are just a little too far from God. People who have momentarily forgotten the truth. I don’t say this as if I am not one of these people every now and then. I am 100% someone that faces adversity that can steer me away from the Lord and his truths. I am one who often looks in the mirror and doubts the Lord’s decisions in my creation. I am someone who tried to fix the Lord’s creation with plastic surgery. Me trying to fix the Lord’s work was slowly killing me. I will save that story for another day. I say this so that you may be remembered when the time comes that you feel any bit of emptiness; that comes from the world. I want to encourage you to remember that the Lord says that you are…
Feel free to download this image!
I want to encourage you and myself, to stop and recognize the things that we are competing for are unnecessary and just cause us conflict. We don’t need to compete with other women, other moms, other singers, other musicians, other ministers, other disciple makers, other entrepreneurs, or other believers. We have all been given our path and our own portion.
I saw a picture on social media that said, “Sit with women who sit at the feet of Jesus. The conversations are different. You walk away feeling inspired, not inferior because those are the women who know this Christian walk is a race but not a competition.” Do not be so quick to desert him who called you in the grace of Christ
Are you sitting with women who sit at the feet of Jesus? (And I don’t mean just on Sunday morning.)
Are you having conversations that are kingdom focused and not world focused?
Are you inspired or do you feel inferior?
Are you in a competition that the Lord never signed you up for?
Take time to build other women up. If anyone tears you down… dust your feet off and walk away.
Grace & Peace
-Chorley
ALSO… Starting next week I will be posting interviews with Disciple making women. They will be sharing the good, the bad and the ugly. They will give us an inside look to the pillars of faith Disciple making has built for them, as well as some of the struggles that they have faced. If you have any questions that you want me to ask them, send them to me from the contact page.
