Tag: andi chorley

Interviews with Disciple Makers: Andi Chorley

.Reading time 22 minutes.

As some of you know, the interview I had lined up, didn’t work out. So, I had people submit questions to me. There were some really great questions in here. I did cry when I was answering some of them. The ones that reminded me of pillars of faith that the lord has built obviously made me cry. Talking about the things the Lord has done or things in the Word, usually makes me weepy. I appreciate all of you and I hope this finds you well. I especially appreciate those that submitted a question. This is about a 13 minute read because I felt that some of these required a longer answer. Know that while I answer these questions, I am no expert and the Lord has everyone walk through different things and deal with things differently. I open up about some stuff on here that may get me shunned by some people, but it may help other people. No worries… I’m here for the other people.

Erica Spangler: What is Disciple making to you?

I love this question. I love it because there is so many different definitions for Disciple making or Discipleship. We live in a culture that is quick to change so many things to make them easier. I have seen this done with Disciple making as well. I have seen that there can be a difference in methods and practices between churches and groups. I don’t think that I can stand up and say that any are just straight wrong or that the way that I do it is THE right way. I can say that many are not biblical. By not biblical, I mean that there are many methods of “Discipleship” that we see in today’s culture, that are not modeled in the Word for us. When I read the Word, I see Jesus regularly meeting with the people he is walking with. He gives them the word. He teaches them the things God taught him. He is intentional with them. He also has moments of enjoying them and getting to know the things that their hearts beat for, while showing them the things of the kingdom that their heart should beat for. As he walks with people, the desires of their hearts change. He shares with their burdens, and he strengthens and encourages them. He sacrifices for them. He gives grace when grace is needed. He gives truth when truth is needed. That is Disciple making to me. I strive to mirror his model and always point back to him and not myself.  

Michayla Wiegert: How has Discipleship changed you? As a person, as a wife and a mother?

There is not a quick answer. I don’t have this idea that I have arrived at any final point. I am a super flawed person who still regularly sins and is always asking the Lord to work on me. I used to be a different person completely. My emotions controlled a lot of what I did. I still struggle with anxiety and depression and PTSD. I know that there are things that have happened in my life, or I have done that have changed the chemistry in my brain. From, being raped, to having an abortion, to being addicted to drugs, to being an alcoholic, to having two heart attacks, to infertility, to cervical cancer, to loosing dozens of friends in Iraq and dozens more to suicide, to surviving a suicide attempt, my brain has changed. I have asked the Lord to take away my PTSD issues and for now, he has said no. I think that me continuing to walk through life and discipleship with this battle keeps me humble and keeps me empathetic. Oddly, I am thankful for all of these things. It is living through these things and walking through Discipleship that I am able to see God in all of these situations. Every single one of them. My relationship with the Lord has changed in the same ways as my relationship with my husband. I went from being a bitter and ungrateful wife to a loving full of grace wife who submits to her husband in ways I was never raised to. I went from being a distant and strict mother to a kind, teaching, hugging mom.

Melanie Vaughn: What is your favorite part of Disciple Making?

My favorite part of Disciple making is watching the moment when someone I have walked with,  realizes how much the Lord loves them and they bend their knees and cry out to him with huge tears of joy. That is the moment when I see heaven break through in them. It is a huge gift to be able to witness this. I’m weeping just thinking about it. I think it is the most beautiful thing in the world.

Tamyara Henson: Is there anyone that you have walked with or are walking with that when the Lord first placed them in front of you, your first thought was: Absolutely Not? How did you walk through that?

Oh yes! Debbie Larrison. The general rule is that you usually walk with people that are equal or younger age and that are not as far along as you are spiritually. Debbie is more than a couple decades older than me. In fact, her husband had been friends with my dad for almost three decades. Well, I remember when the Lord put her in front of me and we didn’t really know each other too well. I thought, “There is absolutely nothing that I could ever teach her that she doesn’t know. She will never submit to my authority in the room as a teacher.” The Lord kept leading me to scripture to change my mind and showing me examples of the fruit that can come. Well, boy was I wrong. Debbie and I walked together for 2 years and continue to live life together. She is now a part of my family. The Lord knew that I would need her to walk through losing my spiritual mother. I have sat through memorial services for over 50 people. This loss was the hardest loss in my life and I still struggle to talk about Rachel without crying. Debbie was who the Lord sent to walk me through that. Trust his plans. He knows what he is doing. Everyone the Lord sends you is either a gift or a lesson. Debbie was both.

Jamie Legrand: In Disciple making, we are asked to lay our lives down. How would you define what that means? How does that look for you as a wife, mom, etc?

The best way to explain laying your life down for someone is: Constantly choosing them over yourself and your own comfort. Will my choices be hard for me but allow them to see Jesus? Will I have to do hard things and have a little bit of suffering for them to see the kingdom breakthrough. Laying your life down in Discipleship should always lead to more Jesus and not more sin. If you are watching someone’s kid so they can go out and get drunk… that’s not laying your life down for them. Laying your life down means that you are sacrificing for someone else’s good.

Ashley Fitzpatrick: This is my first rest season being a Disciple maker and was wondering what rest season looks like for you?

Rest season looks different for everyone. Everyone’s life is so different. I mean most people don’t quit their job during rest season. So, I don’t either. I am retired from the Army, so I don’t have a job that requires me to show up every day. My job is making Disciples, writing, and selling a t-shirt here and there. I tell the people that I am walking with, that rest season is when I become less so the Lord can become more. They lean more on the Lord than on me. They are filled up more by the Lord than me. This gives me more time to be filled up with the Lord. However, crisis happens. Matthew tells us that when Jesus heard about John the Baptists death, he withdrew from the crowd to a desolate place. But the crowd followed him. Jesus’ response was not, go away I need the Lord to fill me up first. He responded with compassion and healed their sick, then when the Disciples told Jesus to send them away to find their own food, he said, “ They need not go away, bring them to me” Jesus fed them and by the grace of God, after Jesus fed them there was plenty of leftovers. I may not be seeking people out and trying to walk with them, but if the Lord sends someone to me, I will not send them away. I will feed them with the word and the Lord will bless me with leftovers that will sustain me.

Alex Evans: What was the turning point in your life that led you to follow the Lord wholeheartedly?

My identity has been jacked my whole life. I never really knew who I was and I always felt abandoned by someone. When I found out I had to retire from the Army it destroyed me. I was being abandoned by the Army just like I had been abandoned by many men in my life. I chose death over losing anything else. I attempted suicide and things didn’t go as planned. It was a miracle. As I drove to the mental health office afterwards I knew that Christ was calling me to him, but it was like driving through fog for the next 6 years. After being hurt by so many men in my life, it took two men sitting me down and showing me exactly what the Lord says about me in the Word. While they were showing me in Ephesians 1, the Lord drew me to Ephesians 2: 4-6. But God- being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ- by grace you have been saved- and raised up with him and seated with us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus. This broke me in the best way. It has become my life’s mission to tell everyone about the Lord and how he rescued me.

Lindsey Hartman, Madison Pierce, Jill English: What’s your most difficult challenge in making Disciples and Why?

Oh, the Kairos. A Kairos is a moment in time where heaven is trying to break through in someone’s life. When I am walking with people I see things that they need to change. It is not always my place to tell them what to do and when to do it. There will be a moment in time that the Holy Spirit comes into a situation, and it takes practice to figure out when to push on a subject and when to sit back and wait. I have to make sure that it is Spirit led and not Andi led. You can’t force someone to walk away from sin. Sometimes you have to hand them over to their sin, like Paul said in 1 Corinthians 5.

Jill English: What does it look like to juggle all the things at home while you are having D-Group?

I used to meet with women on Friday night. So, I would get dinner ready, take my son and drop him of at practice with a mom that would bring him home. (Amazing friend!) Then I would come home and get the house ready, and my husband would get home from a 15 hour day at work and help with my little girls while the women arrived. My husband would eat with the girls while I ate with the women in my group, because there is so much significance in breaking bread together. Then we would move to my office to continue group. By the time the women left for the evening, my family was usually in bed. My current group meets on Wednesday nights. It is way more challenging now. I have a 11, 8, and 6 year old. My husband goes to bed at 2pm on Wednesday nights and gets up for work around 9pm. One daughter had to miss her Wednesday night soccer practice this past season because there was not a mom that I was willing to leave her with. That is a sacrifice that we chose. So, I get the kids home from school, get homework done with them, get the house cleaned up, usually holler at someone to stop fighting, get dinner ready, tell the kids they need to be quiet and not scream and wake their dad up, the women arrive, I usually have to move t-shirts and order forms off my couches in the office so they can set their stuff down, I make the kids plates and set them in front of the TV, and the women and I go to the dinning room to break bread. After dinner we make our way to my office for group. I have two couches and a chair so there is plenty of room to sit, though everyone usually sits in the same place every week. I always have to step out of the office to break up a fight or tell someone to be quiet at least twice an evening. When my husband gets up at 9, I step into the kitchen and make his sandwiches, the ladies take a restroom break, and I send the kids to bed. Then I make my way back to the office and we resume until we are done. After group, after I kick everyone out for the night, I often stay up for a couple hours to detox emotions so that I don’t wake up heavy. So, my answer is that I juggle it as it comes but I couldn’t just say that… I had to explain my chaos so you could see that it is truly a juggling act that requires a lot of grace for everyone including myself.

Alysha Fletcher: How do you handle kids and Discipling? Private matters are often discussed, and kids can intrude on those moments. At least in my home, my children want to be with me all the time.

It can be difficult. You walk this fine line of modeling for your children and also knowing that small ears have big mouths. My group will discuss their highs and lows in the dinning room that has no closed doors, but our main talks happen behind a closed door. My husband gave me a huge gift when he remodeled my office to accommodate a discipleship group. An office with a lockable door. We are not without interruptions even with a lockable door. There have been times when I had to rock a toddler to sleep during group or a mom had to bring her infant for a year. Teaching kids that you love them but also explaining to your kids why they shouldn’t be in the room with you all the time is a huge lesson for them. It takes time and consistency for everyone to stick to a plan. I took all my kids on a one-on-one date and taught them the importance of having alone time with me. It helped them to respect the time I have with my women more.

Alysha Fletcher: How do you help people you know you are supposed to walk with; overcome obstacles (like having small children and no help from a spouse) that seem to make entering a Discipling relationship difficult?

There is a verse in Isaiah 57 that says, “ build up, build up, prepare the way, remove every obstruction from my People’s way”. I would find out what the obstacle is and if the woman wants help removing that obstruction. If she does, seek help from your village. If she wants help, the Lord will make a way. If she doesn’t… it will always be an excuse.

Grace & Peace

Chorley

Interviews with Disciple Makers: Tamyara Henson

.Reading time 22 minutes.

I can’t remember exactly how long ago I met Tamyara. I also don’t remember the exact moment that we became family. I guess that is because C.S. Lewis was right about store’ love. You don’t know when exactly it starts, you only recognize it once it has already happened. When I met Tamyara, she was not a person of peace for me. The things she said rubbed me the wrong way and I my words did not rest with her. At least they didn’t rest in any good way. I also knew that I had no fans in her family. The reality is that we both had some growing up to do. It took a few years of learning how to love people for who they are and recognizing that unity in the body brings peace. There are always growing pains that come with maturing. I can honestly say that through all this maturing, I have felt the pain. Watching the Lord transform Tamyara has made it all worth it.

Tamyara has faced her fair share of growing pains. She has also pruned many dead branches and has shown sustainable fruit in her life.  Tamyara Henson is married to Chad Henson. They have two boys, Benjamin(13) and Noah(12). They live in Midwest City, Ok. Tamyara was born and raised in eastern Oklahoma county. She went to Randall University straight out of high school and currently works for a tag agency. Tamyara is part of the Worship team ministry and my dear friend lives with chronic pain. I have a lot of sympathy for anyone that is dealing with pain all the time. I pray you read this very raw, honest and vulnerable interview with grace.

Chorley: From the moment that discipleship kicked off at Harrah Church? How did your journey of Discipleship go?

Tamyara: I was not on board with it from the beginning. The shift in culture and misunderstandings lead to all of my extended family leaving the church. This created a lot of family tensions that I still deal with today. I was invited into a second-generation group, then it was swept out from under me.  

Chorley: When you say that it was swept out from under you what do you mean by that?

Tamyara: I was invited into a group. We met and had dinner as a group. We set up when we were going to meet and laid out how things would go and everyone was really excited… Two days later we received a phone call that we are not going to have a group it is just not going to happen.

Chorley: How did being invited into a group and then it failing to launch impact you?

Tamyara: It hurt. To be blunt. I was pissed. I was already having identity problems and it really messed with those issues that were already there. I allowed a negative situation to have a bigger impact on me than it had to and for longer than it had to.

Chorley: I’m walking with you, so I already know.. but for those that don’t know you, how long were you not in a group after that situation happened?

Tamyara: A little over a year.

Chorley: What did you have to resolve with yourself and the Lord before you could even attempt to be in a disciple making group again?

Tamyara: I had to walk through a lot of identity stuff. I had to sit with him on that and truly know what it meant that there is a time and place for everything and the Lord had a purpose for this all to play out.

Chorley: Did you join a newly started group?

Tamyara: No. I had some women that I knew were purposely meeting with me to possibly invite me in at some point. I didn’t know it would be to be with a group that was already started. But I did start with a group that had already been meeting for a year.

Chorley: How was it joining a group that had already walked together for a year?

Tamyara: It was very awkward. Since I was having identity issues, the first night I walked in it felt like , hey I’m the rotten one of the bunch.

Chorley: What exactly made you think that?

Tamyara: When things fell apart with the first group, I really felt tossed aside.

Chorley: After the first night… how did it go?

Tamyara: It went better each week. Like… Each week I dreaded it less and the dread was not as heavy.

Chorley: How was the learning curve joining a group that had already been together for so long?

Tamyara: I always felt like there were times that I could speak up and have things explained better to me. Everyone in the room would answer my questions freely.

Chorley: When you say less dread, what exactly were you dreading?

Tamyara: I was dreading being vulnerable, I was dreading opening up more and more of myself each week. For a long time, I felt like I put on a show. But at d group you are open, honest and vulnerable and everyone is going to see your flaws and this is not the Tamyara that they see on Sundays.

Chorley: DO you think the western church culture has set us up to hide our authentic selves?

Tamyara: I think it has. Growing up in that culture, you are basically taught that the things that happen at home are kept at home. You are to be pleasing at church on Sunday even if your life is falling down around you. You hide your junk. This perfect Christian. I know that I catch myself trying to wear the weight of what people say about me. It is hard and I cant let that define me. Disciple making culture is different than western church culture. Disciple making culture gives you more freedom to be who Christ says you are.

Chorley: What is it that made you realize that others can’t define you?

Tamyara: What the Bible says about my identity. If the Lord set me apart, why should I let what other people say about me have any weight in my life?

Chorley: What did it look like the first time someone fought for your freedom in group?

Tamyara: It wasn’t in group; it was one on one with you over the phone. It was when me you and Robin were meeting and I had fallen asleep 3 times while we were meeting. I was so embarrassed. I thought I had only fallen asleep once. It was then that you brought to my attention, how badly I was addicted to pain pills and muscle relaxers. It literally made me feel ill. I made a promise to you that I was going to come off of those medications. I started going  through withdrawal immediately. I came to group going through withdrawal. I sat at your table sicker than a dog. And.. had to be driven home by Brittany because I was so sick. But every day I could feel more and more freedom. I could be open to accept what the Lord had for me and his plan for me. I was able to actually absorb more at group and be more present minded with those around me.

Chorley: When we were on the phone and when you were going through withdrawals next to the dinner rolls… how did the group respond?

Tamyara: With grace that I did not deserve. I remember, I can’t remember who said it… but when I went to leave for the night…someone said, well, you stayed longer than we expected you to stay. They all poured into me all week. I remember Brittany talking SO much on my drive home and I just couldn’t listen any more because I was so sick. I remember I got home and Chad met us in the drive way, I got out of the car and puked.

Chorley: So, you didn’t get released at the end of that year with the rest of everyone. You got what I respectfully call, recycled. What was that like for you?

Tamyara: The night that the group got released, was bittersweet. I was so happy for them. But it brought back those old feelings. Like if my original group had started, I would be released too. But I also know that it is the Lords will. He has plans for me. I’m also the type that I was excited to join a new group and get to know new women as intimately as I knew these women that were being. I know that when I am released that those women will be just as happy for me as I was for them.  

Chorley: So, first you were invited to a group. It failed to launch. Then you were meeting with me, and another woman and mornings were not working for you. Then I asked you to join my already started group, a year late… and you were with that group for a year until they were released. Then you continued with me into another group…. How did that go?

Tamyara: The first night it was just Robin, Cheyanna, Andi and Me… Then the next six weeks I didn’t show up. I let a lot of things influence my decision to check out. My health, not feeling worthy, being insecure, having to open up fresh wounds, having to tell my Jesus story with every new group, I had fallen back into the relying on pain medicine and worldly things to get me through, not abiding with the Lord, and feeling disgusting inside  would determine if I was going to group. I would wake up the morning of group and just decide, nope… not going today. After six weeks of me not showing up, You pulled me out of service and we skipped the message and went to the lobby to talk. You told me, “You have to crap or get off the pot, either way, which ever you decide I love you” You also reminded me what I promised in the covenant that I signed. A couple days after that, I called and told you I was stepping away for a break from Discipleship. Then we were on our way to see family, on the way there I got a text from Whitney, because Chad was going to help her prepare for house church. I don’t remember the scripture, but that got Chad and I talking which led Chad to pour Scripture into me, which prior to that moment, I always fought against because I didn’t want to come up with a plan to change things. The trip to see family took two hours. In that two hours, three different times I opened up to Chad some things that I had kept buried that every time it was brought up, I would almost vomit, but it was like once I got that stuff out of my mouth, I had this freedom inside, that unless you are abiding you wouldn’t understand. In that two hours, Chad helped me realize how good discipleship can be and one of the things that I had opened up to him about was that I was intimidated by you. I remember him telling me that if there is anyone that understands me with my health issues… its Andi. It was over that weekend that I finally truly sat down with the Lord and the covenant that you gave me and it was that  following Sunday at the all church celebration that I sat down with you again. I was able to really open up to you and be honest about what had been going on and why I had stepped away and ran. I repented for not holding up my end of the covenant and handed you a new signed covenant. After me being gone for 5 months, You showed me grace and just accepted me back. That was the worst and hardest 5 months. It was worse than the year after the first group that failed to launch. I came back to group as soon as our season of rest was over and it was You, Robin, Cheyanna, Shelby (Who I had never met) and me. This season has been good. When I leave here on Wednesday, I look forward to the next week. The first night I came back, it was like I had never left.

Chorley: There was a night this year that I was too sick from a fibromyalgia flare up, to lead group. How did that go for you?

Tamyara: You contacted me and asked me about leading at my home, but we are in the middle of home repairs… so you told me, I could cancel group, or find somewhere to meet. It was my choice. I chose to reach out to the ladies and see who could host. Robin opened her home. The week leading up to me leading group on my own… gave me no anxiety. None. Which is not like the old Tamyara. I went from not showing up at all and coming up with excuses eight months ago to leading group when you were sick and not even present to assist me. It was good for all of us. Especially me. I had always felt that I might not be able to do this or lead well, but that night showed me that I am capable and equipped. I sat with the Lord and asked for guidance and the Lord just revealed to me that the number one thing that I could teach was the identity triangle; Which is a disciple making tool we use to show us in scripture how our identity needs to be found in Christ.

Chorley: What are you most excited about for your future?

Tamyara: I Just started a new job, I am helping direct people to the Lord, Discipleship is going well and I’m excited to see what the Lord has in store for me.

I like to ask family members for their 2 cents. So I asked Benjamin, Tamyara’s son: How have you seen the Lord change your mom over the last 2 years?

            –My mom has grown more confident in the Word. She turns to scripture before anything else. She listens to the word and obeys it.

Then I asked her husband Chad: What is one thing that everyone needs to know about Tamyara’s transformation through Discipleship?

            –Before entering a discipling relationship, Tamyara’s identity was defined by what people thought of her and said about her. She had a fear of being left out. She tried hard to fit in no matter what it took. She saw the results of discipleship in other women at our church and wanted those same things in her life. We had many conversations about why she wasn’t chosen to be discipled in the beginning. She took exclusion as a sign that she wasn’t good enough or popular enough. It really jacked with her identity. Now, as Tamyara walks with you (Chorley) in a discipling relationship, I’ve seen her grow so much. Tamyara is secure in who she is in Christ. The words and actions of people no longer define her. They still hurt sometimes but she knows what Ephesians 1 says and what God says about her. She knows the truth and lets the truth set her free. I am watching now as people are beginning to see Jesus in her. The transformation has been incredibly sweet to watch. I’ve been watching my wife become my ministry partner. I thank God for her.

I pray this interview finds you well and encourages you as much as it has me.

Grace & Peace

Chorley

Interviews with Disciple Makers: Jenny Brockman

.Reading time 18 minutes.

I thought now would be a great time to interview some Disciple Making women. One thing that I know; is that Disciple making does not rest on just one person. It rests on the Lord and everyone doing their part. There is no ultimate Disciple maker on Earth. Just as I do not believe that there is an ultimate way to make disciples. I know how I make disciples and I know that it works for me. There are varying ways and as long as you are striving to imitate Christ in the method in which you are attempting to make disciples, who can say you are wrong.

Meeting with Jenny on a Friday morning is easier for me than some. She may live out in the middle of nowhere Oklahoma, but that nowhere is only 15 minutes from my home. This made the drive quick. When I pulled up to the Brockman’s new home, I was greeted by Jenny and four smiling boys covered in dirt. I don’t say this because they are dirty feral boys. I say this because Jenny is a mom that allows her boys to run around and get dirty and explore their 40 acre property. They have a couple cows, a couple dogs and couple kittens. After getting my three actually feral children on their way to fun town, I headed inside. Her floors were clean, and her laundry room doors were pulled shut just like mine would have been. I took my shoes off and headed to find a seat on the couch. Jenny talked about her dislike of her couches but all I could think about while she spoke was the memories and miracles that those couches had been through. The first night I met Jenny, I remember seeing those couches. I believe those couches came from Jenny’s mom or grandmother, but I don’t remember for sure. I remember from the story; they were perfect when they came. Those couches were present for Jenny to relax after her hysterectomy.  They were a comforting place to sit while she mourned the loss of her mentor. They were present when Jenny laid her life down and helped women fight for freedom from things of this world that held them down. Those couches are where I sat and listened to David mourn for a family member that he wanted to help but didn’t know how and in the same breath tell me how he was praying for my husband. Those couches are well worn because the Lord saw fit to give Jenny and David the responsibility of raising four boys. Those couches are well worn because Jenny and David have been commissioned to have dozens of men and women sit in their home and cry out the things of the Lord. The prayers that have been prayed on those couches and the tears that have stained the fabric have been gifts from the Lord. We praise God for those well-worn couches.

Jenny with her first group

So, here is how our chat went…

Andi: How do you think Discipleship has affected your family?

Jenny: I think it has only been good for my family. They have to give up their time too. But it also costs them something too. Every single week. The have to do extra cleaning share Mom and Dad two nights a week. But especially being in this house we are better. In  the old house we would eat and close the doors and we would be completely shut off, so the kids could not really see what was going on. Here they eat their dinner at the bar, and they will have their own conversations over there. But usually when they are done, we will still be doing highs and lows at the table, and the boys will come around and prop themselves up on their knees over here and put their elbows in the windows over there (next to the table where all of Jenny’s women are sitting) and listen to us talk about what is good and what is bad and what the Lord is teaching us. It is good for them to get and see the importance of Discipleship and how everyone plays a role. They are learning stuff in the word they may have not otherwise. They are also learning from other people than Just us. From reliable people.

Andi: Out of all the people that have come into your home, besides you and David, who do you think has had the biggest impact on their (her kids) lives?

Jenny: Can I answer that in a different way? Or give you an answer to a slightly different question? The women and men that come into my house really love my kids. There are a few that take a special interest in my kids. There are people who Discipleship has brought into our home, but David didn’t necessarily disciple. They don’t owe us anything. Like… I feel like I owe Rachel something. She laid her life down for me. There are people around us like: Michael Farris, Dustin Hunt, Chris Moix, and Dan Dixon. When my kids are behaving in a way that is inconsistent with who they are, these men use every opportunity to pour into them. They remind them who they are. They give them the word; they give them homework and unconditional love. Probably two or three years ago, Chris taught Garett who he is. After washing him in the word, the voice of the Lord for Garett was that “ I am a man of integrity and I am a man who considers others before himself”. I was like, oh that’s cool. But then Chris actually did it. When he would see my son, he would say: “hey, who are you?” Even to this day Chris initiates conversations with Garett by saying, “Hey, who are you?”. And that longevity and that constant “you are making dumb choices, but your choices don’t define you, Jesus does” That constant reminder has made a giant impact on his life. When you love my kids well, you are loving me well.

The second group of women who walked with Jenny

Andi: Including Rachel, there were originally 9 women in our group. Some have since passed away or walked away from Disciple making. What does is say to you when you see people that were so invested in this, just walk away? Because we have been people in many groups that have walked away either during the process or after they have been released and commissioned. Not what does this say about them, but how does this impact you?

Jenny: It makes me sad. When you have done hard things with people… many hard things. When you share all the real things about yourself, there is a bond formed. It is crazy. I never had sisters. I have one brother. Now I have sisters. So, to have gained a bunch of sisters and to have lost some sisters, it is hard.

Andi: Do you think there is mourning phase that takes place when this happens or when someone breaks covenant?

Jenny: Yes.

Andi: How do you walk through that?

Jenny: The first few times I walked through it, it jacked up my identity. Whether it was from someone who walked away and made the choice that yea, I don’t want to do this after release or during the process. I default back into people pleasing and trying to earn it. But now I also think that the road is narrow, and few find it. I think that is true. It is narrow, rocky and has sharp drop offs and few people want to walk on it. It is hard.

Andi: I agree, when you have moments like this or other hard things you are walking through, does your husband pour into you and give you help and guidance?

Jenny: yes, he does, and he gives me the word and fights for my freedom. However, I have learned about my identity from Rachel, David taught me, I have taught others, and yet It was still a not working for me. David knows I come at it from a different level. I was always a good kid! I didn’t make bad choices. I didn’t have sex before marriage. I didn’t do drugs. I didn’t do things that upset my parents. I earned it. I was a good girl. The angle that I had to approach my identity from was, HUMBLE YOURSELF SINNER! So, where Jesus taught me my identity, it wasn’t Rachel or David or Chris, Jesus taught me from Romans 9:11

            Though they were not yet born and had nothing either good or bad- in order that God’s purpose of election  might continue, not because of works but because of him who calls.  

So, basically before anything, before they had done good or bad, God had elected them to chosen for part of this story. I have tried to explain this to people and I have yet to explain it good. I know my righteousness is filthy rags! They people around me have seen me struggle with identity and tried to help me, but ultimately it was Jesus that taught me.

Andi: So, the question was, how does David help you… and your answer is he doesn’t.

Jenny: (Hysterical Laughing) No, he does help me with things all the time and he walk me through things. Just not identity.

Andi: What is the biggest myth about 1st generation disciple makers.

Jenny: That we have our lives more together than anyone else. We are hot messes too.

Andi: What do you think are the dangers of putting Disciple makers on a pedestal?

Jenny:  Well, it is a little interesting isn’t it. What we do is, follow me as I follow Jesus. I am going to endeavor  to lay my life out as something for you to imitate. So, there is some of that, that we do. But! Those people that I am in covenant with know and see all the sin that I reveal to them when we meet in my living room. There is not a pedestal in my living room because they see the way I am and the words I say and watch me get on my knees and repent in front of them. So, you are setting people up for failure or disappointment because when you put someone on a pedestal , they will fall and fail you. Jesus is the only one that can be on that pedestal. This is what the Lord says, “ Have mercy on me, O’ God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my inequity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions and my sin is ever before me.  -Psalm 51:1-3

That’s for me, that’s for you, that’s for our first gen group, that’s for Chris Moix, that’s for all of us.

About a week ago I called David (Jenny’s husband) and asked him a couple questions and I think this is one of my favorite things to do. In a world where people are so ready to complain about their spouse, I choose to be around people who choose to biblically love and respect their spouse. I asked David, “How has discipleship changed Jenny? How has Jenny having been discipled and now making Disciples changed your marriage? And is there anything anyone NEEDS to know about your wife?” David finally called me this past Friday to give me his answer. He tried to clear his throat, but I could almost hear the weight behind his voice as he began his answer. This told me that he meant every word that he was about to say. That the words he was about to say about his wife had stirred his soul.

“Jenny didn’t play sports as a kid. She was never really part of a team. I never saw Jenny as someone who was willing to do hard things. I was a youth pastor for a while and Jenny just saw herself as a youth pastor’s wife. My job was my business and my job to figure out and she was just there to help me for services. My wife has become someone that continuously hears the voice of the Lord and chooses to do hard things for the kingdom. My wife has become someone that I am equally yoked with. She is on my team. My wife has become someone who always lays her life down for others. My wife now owns the fact that she is a minister of the Gospel. She bends to the weight of the Lord. I know that she could make Disciples without me… but couldn’t without her. She lays her life down for our family, the women she walks with and the men I walk with. She does things for my group that I can’t do for hers. I love her.” -David Brockman

Thank you all for stopping by to learn more about just one of the amazing Disciple making women that I will be interviewing over this season of rest. If you would like to reach out to Jenny you can email her at: Jenny@harrahchurch.org

Grace & Peace

Chorley

Don’t let the competition trouble you

.Reading time 7 minutes.

I have been known to be a competitive person. The only friend I have that I know is way more competitive than me is Emily. We grew up together, and we were doubles partners in tennis. As adults we are both soccer fans and more so, big Jesus fans. You definitely get a close up look at how competitive someone is when they compete in a non-contact sport. This is not an expose’ on Emily. This is a quick note for you about the things that we tend to compete with each other on. The non-contact stuff.

Social media is not what makes us competitive. I have heard many people talk about how if it weren’t for social media and reality shows, we wouldn’t have people competing over looks, wealth, and status. This is a huge lie that we have been led to believe. If you look at the book of Galatians, you can see how it is not the outright lies that led us astray… it is the slight lies.

I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel. Not that there is another one but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the Gospel.      Galatians 1:6-7

We have to look at the world and understand that the devil works in very cunning ways. He does not put something out there that is always a blatant lie. He puts half truths out there. It is harder to argue a half truths. When we look at social media; we can look at the side that causes division in marriages and jealousy between women or we can look at the side that shares the Gospel with someone who may not see it anywhere else for the rest of the day. I do want to add that, if social media is a lord in your life, by all means ditch it! We need to understand that it is not the “looks” and the “likes” that people are competing for on social media. Those are just things that are surface level. What is really being competed for is the gratification and worthiness that comes from the looks and the likes. We all have this desire to be wanted and to be found worthy. The desire to get likes and complements from everyone on social media is not a new feeling or desire. If we look all the way back to Cain, we find this emptiness. If we look at the brothers that threw Joseph in a well, we see this emptiness. If we look at Martha, we can see this emptiness. I use the word emptiness on purpose. All of these things can be seen as jealousy, or anger, or feelings of worthlessness, or a need for recognition.

            Every time that we see broken people in the Word or in the World, we are seeing people that are just a little too far from God. People who have momentarily forgotten the truth. I don’t say this as if I am not one of these people every now and then. I am 100% someone that faces adversity that can steer me away from the Lord and his truths. I am one who often looks in the mirror and doubts the Lord’s decisions in my creation. I am someone who tried to fix the Lord’s creation with plastic surgery. Me trying to fix the Lord’s work was slowly killing me. I will save that story for another day. I say this so that you may be remembered when the time comes that you feel any bit of emptiness; that comes from the world. I want to encourage you to remember that the Lord says that you are…

Feel free to download this image!

I want to encourage you and myself, to stop and recognize the things that we are competing for are unnecessary and just cause us conflict. We don’t need to compete with other women, other moms, other singers, other musicians, other ministers, other disciple makers, other entrepreneurs, or other believers. We have all been given our path and our own portion.

            I saw a picture on social media that said, “Sit with women who sit at the feet of Jesus. The conversations are different. You walk away feeling inspired, not inferior because those are the women who know this Christian walk is a race but not a competition.” Do not be so quick to desert him who called you in the grace of Christ

Are you sitting with women who sit at the feet of Jesus? (And I don’t mean just on Sunday morning.)

Are you having conversations that are kingdom focused and not world focused?

Are you inspired or do you feel inferior?

Are you in a competition that the Lord never signed you up for?

Take time to build other women up. If anyone tears you down… dust your feet off and walk away.

Grace & Peace

-Chorley

ALSO… Starting next week I will be posting interviews with Disciple making women. They will be sharing the good, the bad and the ugly. They will give us an inside look to the pillars of faith Disciple making has built for them, as well as some of the struggles that they have faced. If you have any questions that you want me to ask them, send them to me from the contact page.

Idle or Reliable

.Reading time 8 minutes.

There was a time in my life when all I could do was exist. I live with a chronic illness. There are times that my illness will put me in bed for days. There was a time in my life that I had more sick days than healthy. There was also a time in my life that I was idle. I would get up in the morning and take my kid to school then I would come home and lay on the couch watching TV all day until it was time to go get him again. Life slowly got busier and busier. As more kids came and more “mom duties” started to come, I always felt under water. I remember getting on Facebook and looking at the lives of other moms. They all seemed to have it together. They were juggling kids, PTA, sports, bible studies, church on Sundays, date nights with their husbands, careers, and still managed to do laundry and have dinner on the table every night. I was puzzled how they had so much time on their hands.

It took me a while to understand a few things. It also took Discipleship. The first thing that I had to understand, was that I was not to be measured up to other moms or women. No where in the Word have I ever found that I am compared with other women. There are things that the Word lays out for women. There is guidance on how a woman ought to manage herself and her home. The word is the only thing that I should measure myself up to. Much of this information can be found in Titus 2 and Proverbs 31. Now don’t roll your eyes at the thought of yet one more Proverbs 31 study. This is not one. However, if you have never looked at the text (without commentary from someone else) and asked how you can apply it to your life… do it now.

The next thing I had to understand is that I have the same 24 hours in my day that everyone else has. No one took any hours from me. Now I may have more free time in one day than another day. I may need more rest on some days. I may get more work done on others. The things that I had seen other women doing on Facebook, was a choice for them. Spending time with their kids was a choice. Having time for date nights was a choice. Doing a bible study was a choice. Getting the laundry done, was also a choice.

What is the sacrifice of these choices? When we look at our life and we are making time for the Lord, our spouse, our kids, and our chores… what are we sacrificing? I know that if I want to get my house clean, I need to sacrifice some free time. If I want to get to church early for a class, I need to rearrange my schedule and come prepared. If I want to walk with women, I have to sacrifice some of my evenings. Now we can also look at things from a different perspective as well. Am I sacrificing intentional time with the Lord, so that I can sleep in? Am I sacrificing intimate time with my husband so that I can be out with my friends? Do I sacrifice a clean home so I can binge watch Netflix? Everything is a sacrifice. You just have to ask yourself; Is this a sacrifice that I want to make?

The key word that the Lord has been showing me this past month is definitely: Idleness. I was drawn to check out 2 Thessalonians 3. When I got there, I realized that I was there to check out verses 6-15.

Now we command you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you keep away from any brother who is walking in idleness and not in accord with the tradition that you received from us. For you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us, because we were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone’s bread without paying for it, but with toil and labor we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you. It was not because we do not have that right, but to give you in ourselves an example to imitate. For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies. Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living.

As for you, brothers, do not grow weary in doing good. If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note of that person, and have nothing to do with him, that he may be ashamed. Do not regard him as an enemy but warn him as a brother.

There are so many ways that you can look at this. One way that I am looking at this is: Who am I around and being influenced by? Am I around people that gossip and sit around doing nothing? Am I around fellow believers that speak life into me? I can’t answer these questions for you. I also can’t tell you what you need to sacrifice. I do pray that you find a way to sacrifice for things that grow you closer to the Lord. I also pray that I show myself to be a reliable minister of the Gospel, by not being idle; Idle in my relationship with the Lord, idle in ministry, and idle in the affairs of my home. I can be idle or I can be reliable, but I cant be both.

Grace & Peace

Chorley

If you haven’t already, make sure to check out the Truth x Grace Summit through Brittanyrust.com There is going to be some great resources revealed!

grayscale photography of flowers

What Do You Do?

.Reading time 9 minutes.

I am writing this on Mother’s Day. I read an article on Mother’s Day that spoke about the woman that conceived Mother’s Day. Her name was Anna Jarvis. Anna’s mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, had organized women’s groups to promote friendship and health as well as give classes to mothers. The classes centered around mothering. Cooking, cleaning, and most of all keeping your children healthy. Ann gave birth to 13 children. However only 4 survived childhood. Over time Anna started Mother’s Day to honor her mother for her sacrifices to motherhood and the sacrifices of all mothers. Anna later grew to hate the holiday, as it became commercialized.

One thing I wanted to ask you all; What do you do when the flowers die? You will be reading this at least one day after Mother’s Day. Every year mothers around the nation are woke up with breakfast in bed, fresh flowers, candy, and while children are young, a unique hand made card or craft. As children age they either begin to purchase more expensive gifts or stop caring all together. I recognize that this is not what happens to all mothers. Many mothers wake up to another May morning. Another morning of getting up to take care of a family that just assumes you will do your “mom” duties. After all, they still have to eat. Many single moms get up alone and have no one in the home to teach their children to admire and lush over them. Many moms wake up to grief. Grief of a lost child. Grief of an empty womb. Grief of a strained relationship with their mother. Grief of a strained relationship with their child. Grief of a passed mother. Grief from abandonment. My heart is with those who wake up with grief. I think I wake up with this on Mother’s Day because I am an empath. If you cry in front of me, I will cry. I cried twice today just because I saw two other women cry at church and my heart hurt for them.

            So, I am wondering, what do you do when the flowers die? Or for some when the flowers never come? All fresh flowers given as a gift will die. Chocolates will get eaten. Hand made cards will get tucked away in a random drawer and kept for years. When all the frills and fluff of Mother’s Day celebrations are over, what do you do? Also, if the celebration doesn’t come… what do you do?

            You will be asked to return to the grind. You will be asked about laundry, game schedules, bills, dinner plans, carpool, new shoes, pto meetings, bible studies… the list goes on and on. It literally never ends. Your moment to shine is over. If you have lived in motherhood grief, you are expected to “move on”. The day has passed. What many don’t understand is that motherhood and motherhood grief never ends. At least not here on Earth.

            I have recently been very motivated by the verse from Proverbs 31:27, She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. I have been very mindful of my idleness. I have watched videos from Amy Darley. She makes videos of herself cleaning her house and gives cleaning tips. I find the videos very motivating for me. I watch one before I go to bed and it motivates me to get up early and clean some stuff up. She is a Christian woman who also motivates people to look to Christ. I am always looking for motivation. I walk daily through anxiety and depression, so motivation is something that I always need.

            I wanted to write this to motivate yall. To motivate you for when the flowers die. When your family is over the celebration of your sacrifices and just need more from you. I want to encourage you to run the race marked out for you. I want to motivate you to not grow weary of doing good. I want to motivate you to persevere under trial. (all of these things are in the Word) The only way that we can continue to walk through motherhood and motherhood grief is by remaining in Christ. By spending time in the Word every day, we can find the strength to walk through motherhood and through motherhood grief. The two of which are not mutually exclusive. I am not saying that being in the Word makes motherhood or grief easy. I am only saying that it makes it possible. I know that I am not the mother the Lord wants me to be when I don’t spend time with him. I can, however, strive daily to emulate the motherly example he lays out for us in the Word.

            We have been given one great example of motherhood straight from Mary. She chose to trust God’s plan for her conception. She protected him from Herod’s reign and slaughter. She received encouragement from Simeon. She misplaced her son during a yearly Passover trip. She showed him grace when she found him. She showed her friends his miracles. Then she stood by and trusted God while her son fulfilled God’s will on the cross. A pain I can only imagine. By all historical accounts, Mary lived 11 years after her son’s torturous death. An 11 years that I speculate were hard.  

My question remains… What do you do when the flowers die? Do you remain in the peace of the Lord? Do you remain joyful of the heritage the Lord has bestowed on you? Do your mercies renew every morning? Do you strive to walk through your grief?

Or…

Do you lose all grace for your children? Do you stress over the mundane mom tasks? Do you allow your grief to keep you from living your life?

Either way, I have no judgement for you. I have done ALL of these. My only hope is that you are encouraged to cling close to the Lord.

I pray this finds you well as I have taken three weeks off from writing to get healthy.

Grace & Peace

-Chorley

Entrusting in the Reliable

.Reading time 13 minutes.

When I first got married, my husband and I had agreed that neither of us wanted to have children. We were 18 & 19. We were still kids ourselves. While my husband had a relatively great upbringing, My childhood was less desirable. We deployed very shortly after we got married and we spent a lot of our time in Iraq watching how horrible humans can be to each other. We decided that we didn’t want to bring a child into this world because of that and because we were both very consumed by our careers. I had a goal to be a Sergeant Major. Then we both had too many close calls in Iraq. When we returned from our second tour in Iraq, we decided that we would like to try again.

In 2009 after we had a couple miscarriages, we finally got pregnant again. We did the normal pregnancy tests and lab work. That is when we found out that we had to go see a specialist. When we saw the specialist, we were told that Our baby had trisomy 18. Trisomy 18 is when a child has an extra chromosome. This disease causes severe abnormalities and ¾ of all children born with the disorder are still born. The 1/4th that survive birth have all died before the age of 18. There is only one that has survived to 18. The doctors suggested that we abort the pregnancy. This was a hard thing for me to learn. I was already three months along in my pregnancy. I remember just laying in bed for days crying. We decided to wait and get a second opinion. I finally got a second opinion a month later. A month after I was supposed to have a scheduled abortion. When we got the second opinion, the doctor informed us that he was glad we waited because he discovered that our child had been misdiagnosed. Our child was currently very healthy.

My Calvin was born on his due date. September 14th 2009. He was beautiful. He was Just under 6lbs with dark brown eyes. I don’t have any memory of the two weeks after his birth because I was in a medically induced coma. I didn’t get a chance to bond with him until he was about six months old. I had a severe case of amnesia and the lack of bonding had created a separation from Calvin and I. The first thing I remember saying about him was, “Is that Kevin’s baby? Did he have another kid?” (Kevin is my little brother.) That is when I was informed of the reality of what all had happened. Then everything just clicked at 6 months and I couldn’t imagine my life without him.

When I said yes to Discipleship in my life, I had no clue what it would look like. I thought that I would start to understand a little more about the Bible. Then the longer that I walked with Rachel, I began to understand the termination theory. The termination theory tells us that as long as we continue to pass on the knowledge we have been given, some of those who receive the knowledge will then pass it on to others. I remember sitting in someone’s living room when I first learned about the termination theory. I remember being asked what the theory meant for me and my life. I looked over at the women who had spent almost a year poring her life into me, the woman who had cried with me and helped me understand what the Word says and what the Lord says about me. The woman who invited me into her life before she knew what I mess I was. The woman who I had watched fight cancer for months. The Lord had revealed to me through the story of Tabitha, that my dear friend and spiritual mother’s body would not survive cancer. I cleared my throat and managed to tell her that, “If we were the last people that she ever discipled, I could not let that be in vain.” I could not let the things that she taught me, die with me. From then on I knew that I had to start looking for the women that the Lord wanted me to walk with in the process of discipleship. The Lord presented four women to me. I walked with those women for two years. I am now walking with another group of four women. I have this hope that all of them will pour into other people. They may not walk with women in the same way and they may not all start groups of their own. What I do know is that through this process all of these women have been transformed to look less like the world and more like Jesus. While, they may not all start groups in the same way I did, I have personally seen them all pour Jesus into their friends and families. I know that I followed the Word when I chose to walk with these women.

The things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses, entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others. 2 Timothy 2:2

            2 Timothy came to mean something vastly different to me last week. When I picked my son up from school last week, he was clearly distraught. He was stressed about the number of tests that he had coming up the next day. I remember telling him that school is not the end all be all of his life and that his test scores in fifth grade are not going to follow him the rest of his life. I had debated letting him skip school the next day. Take a mental health day. He seemed like a different kid the next morning. He woke up early and was ready to go well before his sisters. I started to think that he was much better because he had gotten a good nights sleep. I was wrong. I had sent him to bed a little early the night before. I figured that he just went to sleep. I was wrong. Apparently he stayed up and listened to worship music while he sat in the Word.

            My son keeps an abide journal. On the first page he has:

“people were bringing little children to him in order that he might touch them, but the Disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them. “Let the little children come to me. Don’t stop them because the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it” After taking them in his arms, he laid his hands on them and blessed them.      Mark 10:13-16

This is one of his favorite verses. If I look through his book, I can find notes from every sermon that he has sat through. You can find words like chesed: Covenant love, Logos: The divine Word- Christ, words become a mirror in your life, horeo: perceive with inward spiritual perception, a list of grain offerings the Lord has brought him, as his admission of faith and Christ’s Lordship in his life. When my son got home from his test day, I asked him how his day was. That is when he informed me that the night before, he sat in the Word and the Lord reminded him that he is in control and he is going to get him through his tests, and he is the one who gives him hope.

            When Paul wrote 2 Timothy 2:2, he was letting leaders know that they have a responsibility to train up more leaders. They had a responsibility to reproduce. I am reminded that the Lord first gave us the direction to go forth and multiply. When Rachel told me that I would be reproducing other disciples by walking with other women, I thought that would be my only job. I never even considered the fact that while I may be making Disciples with other women, my main disciple making duties will be done inside the walls of my home. The Lord has blessed me with three beautiful children that I don’t deserve. Three children that I plan to Disciple to Jesus, for the rest of our lives.

            Disciple making looks different for everyone. Sometimes it looks like walking with a group of adult women, sometimes a group of teenagers, sometimes one on one, and sometimes your own children. You may walk with people twice your age, and you may walk with a five-year-old child. What matters is that you make an effort to pour Jesus into everyone in your life. If you believe in Christ and the truth and love that he brought us, you will never regret sharing that with people in your life. When my son told me that his hope is found in Jesus, it gave me hope for not just him and the women in which I walk. It also gave me hope for the people that my son walks with; his teachers, his best friend, and his sisters. My son shares the light of Christ.

Who do you pour into?

What does the termination theory mean to you?

What is it that you are reproducing?

Grace and Peace

-Chorley

How Love Grows

.Reading time 13 minutes.

There is a poem or writing by Bishop Fulton Sheen that I wanted to share with you all. I found it on a dusty shelf in a thrift store. The book is titled, That Tremendous Love, An anthology of inspirational quotations, poems, prayers, and philosophical comments. It was edited by Bishop Fulton J. Sheen, Ph. D., D.D. The book was published by Harper and Row. I find it important to share the author and publisher so that I can give credit where credit is due. The Christian world of writing, speaking, and ministering is one of the biggest stages of plagiarism and I want to make sure that someone’s hard work is accredited to them and no one else. This not only allows credibility but also gives room for criticism of the author.

How Love Grows

At the beginning one loves God only for his gifts or for the emotions He sends us. He treats us then, “like a young woman who is being courted.” If gifts are no longer given in abundance after true marriage has occurred it is not because a husband’s love is less, but because it is greater. For now he gives himself. It is not the husband’s gifts that his wife loves nor his compliments, nor even the thrill of pleasure she gets form his company. She loves him. The moment the Lover is loved for Himself, then the nature of the gifts ceases to matter. If God withdrawals all sensible gifts it is only because He wants union between the soul and Himself to be more personal and less dependent on his generosity. – FJS

I will never forget the first gift my husband really gave me. It was for Valentine’s day .It was a yellow gold necklace with two interlocking charms. The heart charms were about the size of a nickel. The outer heart was an outline of diamonds and the inner heart was an outline of rubies. Two hearts as one. One regret I may always have was my response to the gift. We were both serving in Iraq at the time. He had found a computer and went to the military mall website and ordered the first piece of jewelry that was on the home screen of the site. I was disappointed that he didn’t put more consideration into it. All I did was express that he was lazy in his gift and I didn’t like yellow gold. I didn’t even consider the fact that he was a 19-year-old, married, kid deployed to a war zone that was exhausted from back-to-back missions picking up our friends demolished vehicles that were covered in blood and bullet holes… and still went out his way to order a diamond and ruby necklace and have it shipped to his wife in a war zone. I didn’t consider that this was the first piece of jewelry he had ever bought in his life. The thought of my actions still makes me say, “Ugh!” A few months later, still in Iraq, on our first anniversary he had made a notebook that had listed different memories and he had cut out pictures to help tell a story of us. He wrapped it up and had a friend deliver it via military convoy from his small camp to mine. I still keep it in my nightstand next to the gold necklace. He has only gotten me one Valentine’s Day gift since 2005 and I don’t mind because his love is worth more than anything he could buy.

I started thinking about the gifts that Jesus has given. I didn’t want to make this a list of just the gifts that he has given me or my family. While that testimony is great and full of joyous tears, I wanted to direct yall back you the Word, so you may see the witness accounts for yourself. This is not an all inclusive list. I encourage you to find more! The first one I would say was his first miracle.

(John 2) When he turned water to wine. He was just starting his ministry and starting to have people follow him. His mother was in distress over wine at a wedding. We may first think that this is people upset because they wanted to drink like many people do now at weddings. However, at traditional Jewish weddings, the Rabbi that is performing the wedding will pour two glasses of wine into one cup, he will bless the wine, and recite the seven blessings for the marriage. He will then give the cup to the couple and they will both drink from the cup. The wine symbolizes two lives becoming one new life. This tradition is called Nissu’in. This gift was not only for his mother and disciples. It was also a gift to the couple and everyone in their life to see the seven other blessings in their marriage.

(John 4)We then see Jesus heal an official’s son. We don’t know if this was the official’s only child. What we do know is that lineage is important. We all desire the gift of offspring. The gift of a man’s child healing from sickness is one of the biggest gifts a father can receive.

 (John 5) Jesus goes over to the healing pool of Bethesda. There were sick people seeking healing and getting into the pool to be healed. What we now know about healing waters and the power of radiation in hot springs, was not well understood at the time. Jesus told a lifelong paralytic to, “Get up, take your bed, and walk”. The love of Christ healed the man and the man believed he was healed by Christ and not by the world. This gave hope to many. I am not saying that your faith will make you healed of all sickness in your life. What I am saying is that there is healing that comes from Christ alone. You may die from a sickness. That does not mean you must have a lack of faith. The Word Never says that. The healing of this man led to the faith of many. The faith of you in sickness may lead to the faith of many. We don’t get to decide the Lord’s will. The Lord’s love is steadfast in sickness and in health.

(John 6) The Lord feeds 5000. The Lord shows that he can take something so small and do great things with it. He loved by feeding people that were open to listening to him. People that were seated before him ate!

(John 6) The disciples got on a boat in the sea of Galilee. Now the sea is huge at 64 sq miles and about 140 ft deep. This is no lake. The sea got rough and if a wave takes the boat, they would all surely die. Jesus just walks up to them and the sea is calm, and they are near the coast. Jesus loved them by comforting them and showing them that he subdues the world by his will. He is the one that calms the storms.

(John 9) Jesus heals a blind man. The Lord tells his disciples, “It is not out of sin that this man is blind but rather that the works of God may be displayed in him”. It is not sin! It is to show the works of God. The gifts of God!!

 (John 11) Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead. Jesus waited a few days before he went to give his gift. Some lost faith or judged the Lord’s gift. It wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t what they wanted. They wanted him to prevent the death, not bring him back. Then Jesus wept. He shed tears. We don’t know if the tears were for the lack of love that they had for Jesus or because of the death of Lazarus. I know that when someone shows their lack of love for us by not believing us or not believing in us, it hurts. It cuts us deep in a way that can take a long time to repair. We may strive for them to believe in us by showing actions. However, we can not force anyone to believe in us and the Lord chooses not to force us to believe in him. That would not be love.

(John 19) Jesus gives up himself for us. The ultimate sacrifice and gift. His life for ours. With this gift Jesus gave us himself forever. This is a gift that can never be rescinded. The last gift that Jesus physically gave his Disciples was his excruciating death. This last thing was not considered one of the “Seven Miracles” However it was a miracle. There is no way that it wasn’t. His generous gifts were all perfect and according to his will even if they were not seen that way. Even if some were seen as a necklace that wasn’t good enough. Could they have loved him for who he was and not for his gifts?

Do you love the Lord for his generosity or for who he is?

Do you pray for blessings or do you pray to be in one accord with the Lord?

Do you spend time in the word to check off a box or to learn more about the Lord?

Grace & Peace

-Chorley

P.S.

Make sure to check out the resources page for new content!

grayscale photo of couple walking on road

Geneva’s Model

.Reading time 11 minutes.

            I was not raised to be submissive or subservient. I was raised by a very feminist mother. The Lord was not prevalent in our home. Not because of feminism. These are just two separate facts but I think that they go hand in hand.

My grandma was a submissive woman. She would get up early every morning and make my grandpa breakfast before he would leave to work at the family body shop. She would take care of house chores, balance the shop books, or run errands. Then she would make sure to have a big, in my opinion, lunch on the table for my grandpa around noon. Correction, a dinner. Where I grew up the mid-day meal is called dinner. Lunch is for fancy people. I cant remember what the main course was. However, I do remember there was often a cucumber and onion salad, or yellow squash and potatoes cooked in cornmeal. My grandma, Geneva, and her five siblings were raised by a one-armed widow. My great grandmother “Mother” came from Missouria-Osage mixed breed Indians and Irish immigrants that had settled in the Appalachian Mountains. Most Missouria descendants still call the state Missoura’ Our Irish side that came over, were not slaves so much as indentured servants working off their boat ticket. No royal blood here. My grandma married my grandpa before her 18th birthday. After facing the Dust bowl and the great depression, my great grandfather died in a farming “accident”. I think this is important to note because Geneva was never shown how a marriage should work. She was never shown a good example of love between a husband and wife.

My grandpa was an orphan. In 1934 there was a funeral for the notorious Pretty Boy Floyd. It is said that between 10,000-40,000 people were in attendance. When the police finally got the crown to disperse and leave by nightfall, My grandfather was left abandoned. No one came forward to claim the infant, so he was put up for adoption. He was raised as Calvin Kernell. I loved my grandfather. He taught me how to work on cars and fish. He encouraged me to join the Army while my grandmother discouraged me. What I didn’t know as a child is that he had been a raging alcoholic most of his life. The alcohol lead him to be a mean abusive husband and father.

Knowing what I know now about the early life of my grandparents… I wondered how their marriage worked. I wondered how a woman could love and serve a man who was hateful and abusive for so many years. This showed me so much about my mother as well. She grew up watching her mother be submissive and serve a husband who did not deserve her. This type of trauma as a child will usually have a direct impact on intimate relationships later in life.

I walk with women through the process of Disciple making. I pour into them and teach them what the word says about different situations in their life. Most of you know this. One of the biggest things (One of!) I teach them is that they are to submit to their husband. The first time I ever heard the Bible taught that… I was appalled. I wanted nothing to do with it. I didn’t want to submit to anything, let alone a man. I was a strong independent woman! I was fully capable! I didn’t NEED a man, and I didn’t WANT to submit to him.

I am not going to write out all of the verses that tell a wife to submit to her husband. All you have to do to find them is google: Scripture about submitting to your husband. You will find plenty. I do want to highlight a couple.

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, … 1 Peter 3:1-22 ESV

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, …  Ephesians 5:22-33 ESV

My grandma knew the word and she was faithful to her convictions about submitting to my grandpa. I spent a week at my grandpa’s deathbed with my mother. He was slowly becoming less and less. The doctors gave him three weeks. The week that my mother and I were there, my grandpa talked to us both whenever he was awake. He knew my mother was his daughter. However, he believed that I was my grandma. My grandma who had already passed. I admit, I do look remarkably similar to my grandma. I also didn’t want to repeatedly tell a dying man that his wife had passed away. We had a few talks about how the dogs were and how the shop was doing. The one conversation that will always stick with me was when he made a confession. He looked at me and said, “Geneva, Thank you for…(then he just cried)”. The only thing I could muster myself to say was, “Oh, Calvin” Which is something my grandma would often say when my grandpa was rambling on about random things he felt was important. In that moment I saw that he had been won over. Not with my actions that week. No. He had been won over by years of my grandmother submitting to him and loving him well. No matter what, she loved him and submitted. I am not encouraging women to stay in abusive relationships or leave. I am not saying that you become a yes man or a doormat. I am only saying that I have witnessed how a woman who was never shown how a healthy marriage should go, was able to read what the word says and walk it out the best she could under the hardest circumstances. It took me years to really understand the whole situation. She inadvertently modeled this well for me and I will always be grateful. I do want to testify that my submission to my husband, has moved his heart in amazing ways and has never once demeaned me or made me feel less than.

Married?

-Do you submit to your husband? (if no, why not?)

-Do you understand what biblical submission is?

Single?

-Is the person you are dating worthy of submitting to?

Grace & Peace

-Chorley

P.S.

I will be updating my store this week with pictures of new shirts. I will also be updating the resources page to add a link to a free newsletter that my friend Lindsay Dryer sends out via email once a month to subscribers. I hope to have this stuff done by the end of the week. As always I love you guys and thank you for taking time out of your week to read this. If you have any questions, please send me a message. I appreciate all the “shares, comments, and likes”.

monochrome photography of people shaking hands

Prosthetics make Partnerships

.Reading time 7 minutes.

I am in my third month at being at a new church. I new body of believers. I new denomination. I new mission. I finally got a chance to sit down with the women of this new body and discuss what exactly I do.

            I am a disciple maker. I invest in reliable women who will invest in more reliable women. I spend a lot of time with women teaching them Jesus words. Then I show them how to walk in his ways. Then they go off and do his works. It is a beautiful cycle.

            I don’t believe that disciple making can only look one way. I know that the women who were discipled along side of me, do things different than I do things. That is fine. I know that some churches have classes on how to be a disciple. I am not saying they are wrong. I am just saying that I do things differently than some. If I see Jesus do it in the word, I do my best to emulate that. If I do not see him do it in the word, I walk with extreme caution.

            I have a prosthetic implant in my neck. When I was in Iraq in 2006, there were a series of mortars dropped on a forward operating base that I was stationed at. Long story short, a percussion from one mortar slammed me and another soldier into a truck. For a long time, this caused pain in my shoulder blade. Little did I know that I was experiencing nerve pain in my shoulder blade because the blast had caused me to break 4 vertebrae and herniate 6 disks. I didn’t know until almost 10 years later when I moved my neck one day and it just got stuck. So, I had surgery to replace 2 of my disks. The ones causing the most pain. The doctor decided that it would be best to not get a donor disk. Instead, I would be receiving a man made prosthetic. The reality is that often a donor disk is rejected by the recipient. The recipients body sees that donor disk as a infiltration that must be killed to protect the body from becoming infected. The human body is amazing like that. It always seeks self-preservation.

            I have known the Pastor at the church I am at since I was about 13. I say 13 because I don’t have a lot of memory from that time in my life due to that fact that I had a substance abuse problem. I believe that this relationship that we have has been building since that time. I have shared with him and his wife, my faults, my past, and where I am now in my walk with Christ. I have shown myself to be a humble person and ready to assist.

             I am a prosthetic. I am here to help strengthen them. I know that it is not all up to me. I know that it is also up to them and the Holy Spirit. After all the Holy Spirit is my senior advisor in all of this. I can not be a donor. I can not be something that has the potential to infect or harm their body. I know that I will not be accepted by all. I walk into this body knowing that I will not be received by all. Paul was not received by all either. Not that I am comparing myself to Paul, but rather to say, if a great man was rejected by some, why wouldn’t I be as well? What I am sure of: is that one is enough. If I can just walk with one person, it is enough. If I can encourage one person, it is enough. If I can plant one seed, it is enough.

            I am writing this to encourage those that are sitting with the Lord and have realized that there is a calling on their life to go. To Yatsa. To Poreuomai. If  Isaiah can stand up and say, “ Here I am, send me”. Can we? When the Lord calls us to leave our homes and go build the tower somewhere else, will we? If Moses can hold up his staff long enough to endure the battle, can we? And If we can’t, can we at least hold up the arms of those willing to do so? For those of you that will Go… be a prosthetic. Be helpful. Strengthen and encourage. Don’t be a donor Don’t be one that is only given away when its host no longer needed or wanted it. Do not attack. To those of you that have someone coming in: prepare your heart to receive new things. Don’t assume that it is something that is meant to hurt you or attack you. Prosthetics make partnerships.

The best way for the Prosthetic to prepare and the Recipient to receive; is in prayer.

Pray without ceasing.  -1 Thessalonians 5:17

Grace & Peace

Chorley

P.S.

Don’t forget to head over to the resources page and check out my friend Sara on the Grace Warriors podcast! It is great!