Tag: disciple making

Interviews With Disciple Makers: Kellie Lemen

.Reading time 14 minutes.

It is interesting when we look back at the Old Testament and read through the genealogy of God’s people. There is significance in knowing the origins of things and people alike. It is amazing to watch how many lives can be changed when one person hears the voice of the Lord and obeys. One woman, Rachel Moix, heard the calling on her life and walked it out. She walked with as many women as she could until the good Lord took her home. A few of the people she walked with included Kellie Lemen, Trista Voos, and myself. We did not all walk with Rachel at the same time, but we all have that same genealogical connection. This connection knits our hearts together in the sweetest way. I was going to interview Kellie later on this summer, but as the Lord would have it, he called another Saint, Jill Lee, home. With that, I found myself up in Kansas City to pay my respects.

Kellie lives on the Missouri side of Kansas City in an amazing historical bungalow that was built in 1915. Anyone that knows me well, knows I LOVE historical things. SO, getting to stay in this home and not some cheap motel was extra special to me. The home looks to have the original floors and windows that I can still picture in my head. I woke up at 4am and got in the car to head to KC from Harrah, ok. When I got there I spent a little time with the Lord and went in the church for the funeral. After the funeral I got to go to dinner with Trista, Summer (another Disciple maker), and Kellie at a great pizza place, that I highly recommend; 1889 Pizza Napoletana.

Chorley: How did you get involved with Disciple making?

Kellie: I hit a phase in my life where I became super hungry. I wouldn’t get enough of the Word. I was being fed but didn’t know how to self-feed. Rachel got diagnosed with Cancer and I remember being called to pray for her. I sent her a package in the mail and gave her scripture. I went to a women’s conference and there was a sermon about getting off the fence. I had been in a phase where I had a double life. I made the decision to be all in and started praying about being discipled. Rachel invited me in after meeting with me one on one.

Chorley: How long did you agree to walk together?

Kellie: We didn’t have a covenant at that time. It was agreed that we would walk as long as we would walk.

Chorley: How long did yall walk together?

Kellie: Right around a year.

Chorley: When we begin to walk with people we don’t just walk with anyone, we are led by the Lord to invite people of peace to follow us as we follow Jesus. What does that look like for you?

Kellie: A lot of prayer. Listening prayer. Thinking about names, praying about names and being super open to who the Lord may be highlighting. The last group, I wrote down exactly how the Lord revealed them to me, so that when things got bad, I could look back to remind myself what the Lord said to me. The harvest is plentiful, and the workers are few, so you have to go up the mountain to find answers. Engaging in conversations to see if my words are big in their ears. If see if they come back to me after I have given them the Word. Watching how they respond to scripture I give them.

Kellie with her first group

Chorley: How long do you generally walk with your groups?

Kellie: It has been about 15-16 month.

Chorley: What is the biggest pillar of faith the Lord has built in you through discipleship?

Kellie: Honestly, some of the time you are feel like you have broken stuff, but you realize that the Lord wants it more than you, so he always makes it happen… There was someone I pushed too hard… and I thought they were going to walk away. When she left that night, she reached out to me to talk about how I handled things and she was super loving and awesome. A pillar was when I realized it isn’t on me.

Chorley: Are all the people that were discipled with you and the women you have released, now making disciples?

Kellie: No.

Chorley: Has that ever caused a shift in you?

Kellie: Yea, for sure. Especially my first group, I learned a lot and know things could have been done better. I wish I had done somethings differently and wonder if that would have spurred more things on.

Chorley: But like you said, it isn’t on you. You can pour into someone, but you can’t force them to pour into others. That is freedom for you and them.  

Kellie with her second group

Chorley: What was the biggest lesson you had to learn about the truth of the Gospel?

Kellie: Everything we do matters. The shift of when the Gospel truly takes root in you, and you know what’s at stake. Souls. Everything else in life becomes a lot less important and you can see more clearly. You want to chase people down and show them what the Lord looks like and just love them. I have this saying, that I am always saying… “meanwhile, souls are perishing”. We should turn that into a shirt.

Chorley: Who do you lean on and confide in when you are struggling to make disciples and why?

Kellie: I have two good friends that also make disciples. Trista and Summer. I think it is important to have people who are also in the trenches and understand the process. The joys, the pains, the hurt and frustration. They are always able to encourage me with the Word.

Chorley: What is the slowest thing about making disciples?

Kellie: Depending on the person. The building of relationship and building trust can take a lot of time and it isn’t something you can rush. Also.. individuals learning how to abide.

Chorley: I agree 100%. Learning how to read the word and understand the voice of the Lord for yourself is what leads to true transformation. That is heaven breaking through in your life!

Chorley: Now that we have discussed the importance of being in the Word…How valuable is reading words from others?

Kellie: I think there is place for it and there is value, but it is also never a replacement for the word. I would say that if it isn’t scripture based, it doesn’t hold a lot of weight for me. I have read testimonies that are super important. Paul gave his testimony over and over in the word, so there can be power in our words too.

Chorley: What is the difference between discipleship and small groups?

Kellie: small groups are, low challenge. They are comfy and cozy. No one wants to challenge people with truth because they don’t want the environment to uncomfortable. Small groups are grace heavy and tend to not go as deep. Discipleship is a high challenge. It is very intentional. The people that are invited in, there are high expectations for them. There is high accountability. There are always trust for your information to stay in the room. Everyone knows that everyone in the room is fighting for them.

Chorley: Where have you seen discipleship spill onto different parts of your life that you didn’t expect?

Kellie:  EVERYEHERE! When you realize that your life has purpose and that the Lord wants to use you, you seek out moments to be the church all the time! I did a bible study a few weeks ago and I saw fruit from it.  I recently got to teach Eat the Word to a co-worker. I get to share Jesus with my very hard neighbors. Even if I am not discipling someone, I can still pour into them. Almost all of my friendships have changed because I can love my friends better and help show them the word and the truth.

Chorley: What advice do you have for people who are not sure about discipleship?

Kellie: You can count the cost but the pay out and the freedom that will come is better than you can ever imagine. It is in the word so why would be not strive for it. If we see Jesus walk with people, why would we not model that?

Chorley: DO you have any questions for me?

Kellie: What compels you to keep writing about discipleship?

Chorley: I have lived a dozen lives in the span of 35 years. I have almost died more times than I can count. I have had medical scare after medical scare. I have this thought that I have one life to live and only so much time left. I never know when the Lord is going to call me home. In that time, I am going to do everything I can to teach the people in my life about Jesus. I want to die knowing that everything the Lord has shown me, I wrote down so that when I am gone there will be a record for my children and their children… for those that are in my genealogy.

Kellie is single and the questions that I have been asking I decided to ask the women that are closest to her. I aske Trista: What is the biggest transformation you have witnessed in Kellie since she has gone through discipleship and is now making Disciples?

Trista Voos, Summer Cole, Kellie Lemen

Trista: Kellie has grown in her confidence at letting the Lord lead her to the right people of peace. I’ve seen the joy in her as she lays her life down to find it. She is quick to repent when she gets sideways and shares her struggles with honest and vulnerable intentions to teach others. She’s consistent to show up for those she loves and relies on the Word to shine through in leading women.

Thank you all for continuing to read this blog and support Disciple making. The Lord has commissioned us all. If you are interested in learning more about making disciples, feel free to email me from the contact page. I know dozens of Disciple Makers that are looking for people that are hungry for the Lord. Be sure to check out the shop for some great shirts.

Grace & Peace

Chorley

Interviews with Disciple Makers: Andi Chorley

.Reading time 22 minutes.

As some of you know, the interview I had lined up, didn’t work out. So, I had people submit questions to me. There were some really great questions in here. I did cry when I was answering some of them. The ones that reminded me of pillars of faith that the lord has built obviously made me cry. Talking about the things the Lord has done or things in the Word, usually makes me weepy. I appreciate all of you and I hope this finds you well. I especially appreciate those that submitted a question. This is about a 13 minute read because I felt that some of these required a longer answer. Know that while I answer these questions, I am no expert and the Lord has everyone walk through different things and deal with things differently. I open up about some stuff on here that may get me shunned by some people, but it may help other people. No worries… I’m here for the other people.

Erica Spangler: What is Disciple making to you?

I love this question. I love it because there is so many different definitions for Disciple making or Discipleship. We live in a culture that is quick to change so many things to make them easier. I have seen this done with Disciple making as well. I have seen that there can be a difference in methods and practices between churches and groups. I don’t think that I can stand up and say that any are just straight wrong or that the way that I do it is THE right way. I can say that many are not biblical. By not biblical, I mean that there are many methods of “Discipleship” that we see in today’s culture, that are not modeled in the Word for us. When I read the Word, I see Jesus regularly meeting with the people he is walking with. He gives them the word. He teaches them the things God taught him. He is intentional with them. He also has moments of enjoying them and getting to know the things that their hearts beat for, while showing them the things of the kingdom that their heart should beat for. As he walks with people, the desires of their hearts change. He shares with their burdens, and he strengthens and encourages them. He sacrifices for them. He gives grace when grace is needed. He gives truth when truth is needed. That is Disciple making to me. I strive to mirror his model and always point back to him and not myself.  

Michayla Wiegert: How has Discipleship changed you? As a person, as a wife and a mother?

There is not a quick answer. I don’t have this idea that I have arrived at any final point. I am a super flawed person who still regularly sins and is always asking the Lord to work on me. I used to be a different person completely. My emotions controlled a lot of what I did. I still struggle with anxiety and depression and PTSD. I know that there are things that have happened in my life, or I have done that have changed the chemistry in my brain. From, being raped, to having an abortion, to being addicted to drugs, to being an alcoholic, to having two heart attacks, to infertility, to cervical cancer, to loosing dozens of friends in Iraq and dozens more to suicide, to surviving a suicide attempt, my brain has changed. I have asked the Lord to take away my PTSD issues and for now, he has said no. I think that me continuing to walk through life and discipleship with this battle keeps me humble and keeps me empathetic. Oddly, I am thankful for all of these things. It is living through these things and walking through Discipleship that I am able to see God in all of these situations. Every single one of them. My relationship with the Lord has changed in the same ways as my relationship with my husband. I went from being a bitter and ungrateful wife to a loving full of grace wife who submits to her husband in ways I was never raised to. I went from being a distant and strict mother to a kind, teaching, hugging mom.

Melanie Vaughn: What is your favorite part of Disciple Making?

My favorite part of Disciple making is watching the moment when someone I have walked with,  realizes how much the Lord loves them and they bend their knees and cry out to him with huge tears of joy. That is the moment when I see heaven break through in them. It is a huge gift to be able to witness this. I’m weeping just thinking about it. I think it is the most beautiful thing in the world.

Tamyara Henson: Is there anyone that you have walked with or are walking with that when the Lord first placed them in front of you, your first thought was: Absolutely Not? How did you walk through that?

Oh yes! Debbie Larrison. The general rule is that you usually walk with people that are equal or younger age and that are not as far along as you are spiritually. Debbie is more than a couple decades older than me. In fact, her husband had been friends with my dad for almost three decades. Well, I remember when the Lord put her in front of me and we didn’t really know each other too well. I thought, “There is absolutely nothing that I could ever teach her that she doesn’t know. She will never submit to my authority in the room as a teacher.” The Lord kept leading me to scripture to change my mind and showing me examples of the fruit that can come. Well, boy was I wrong. Debbie and I walked together for 2 years and continue to live life together. She is now a part of my family. The Lord knew that I would need her to walk through losing my spiritual mother. I have sat through memorial services for over 50 people. This loss was the hardest loss in my life and I still struggle to talk about Rachel without crying. Debbie was who the Lord sent to walk me through that. Trust his plans. He knows what he is doing. Everyone the Lord sends you is either a gift or a lesson. Debbie was both.

Jamie Legrand: In Disciple making, we are asked to lay our lives down. How would you define what that means? How does that look for you as a wife, mom, etc?

The best way to explain laying your life down for someone is: Constantly choosing them over yourself and your own comfort. Will my choices be hard for me but allow them to see Jesus? Will I have to do hard things and have a little bit of suffering for them to see the kingdom breakthrough. Laying your life down in Discipleship should always lead to more Jesus and not more sin. If you are watching someone’s kid so they can go out and get drunk… that’s not laying your life down for them. Laying your life down means that you are sacrificing for someone else’s good.

Ashley Fitzpatrick: This is my first rest season being a Disciple maker and was wondering what rest season looks like for you?

Rest season looks different for everyone. Everyone’s life is so different. I mean most people don’t quit their job during rest season. So, I don’t either. I am retired from the Army, so I don’t have a job that requires me to show up every day. My job is making Disciples, writing, and selling a t-shirt here and there. I tell the people that I am walking with, that rest season is when I become less so the Lord can become more. They lean more on the Lord than on me. They are filled up more by the Lord than me. This gives me more time to be filled up with the Lord. However, crisis happens. Matthew tells us that when Jesus heard about John the Baptists death, he withdrew from the crowd to a desolate place. But the crowd followed him. Jesus’ response was not, go away I need the Lord to fill me up first. He responded with compassion and healed their sick, then when the Disciples told Jesus to send them away to find their own food, he said, “ They need not go away, bring them to me” Jesus fed them and by the grace of God, after Jesus fed them there was plenty of leftovers. I may not be seeking people out and trying to walk with them, but if the Lord sends someone to me, I will not send them away. I will feed them with the word and the Lord will bless me with leftovers that will sustain me.

Alex Evans: What was the turning point in your life that led you to follow the Lord wholeheartedly?

My identity has been jacked my whole life. I never really knew who I was and I always felt abandoned by someone. When I found out I had to retire from the Army it destroyed me. I was being abandoned by the Army just like I had been abandoned by many men in my life. I chose death over losing anything else. I attempted suicide and things didn’t go as planned. It was a miracle. As I drove to the mental health office afterwards I knew that Christ was calling me to him, but it was like driving through fog for the next 6 years. After being hurt by so many men in my life, it took two men sitting me down and showing me exactly what the Lord says about me in the Word. While they were showing me in Ephesians 1, the Lord drew me to Ephesians 2: 4-6. But God- being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ- by grace you have been saved- and raised up with him and seated with us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus. This broke me in the best way. It has become my life’s mission to tell everyone about the Lord and how he rescued me.

Lindsey Hartman, Madison Pierce, Jill English: What’s your most difficult challenge in making Disciples and Why?

Oh, the Kairos. A Kairos is a moment in time where heaven is trying to break through in someone’s life. When I am walking with people I see things that they need to change. It is not always my place to tell them what to do and when to do it. There will be a moment in time that the Holy Spirit comes into a situation, and it takes practice to figure out when to push on a subject and when to sit back and wait. I have to make sure that it is Spirit led and not Andi led. You can’t force someone to walk away from sin. Sometimes you have to hand them over to their sin, like Paul said in 1 Corinthians 5.

Jill English: What does it look like to juggle all the things at home while you are having D-Group?

I used to meet with women on Friday night. So, I would get dinner ready, take my son and drop him of at practice with a mom that would bring him home. (Amazing friend!) Then I would come home and get the house ready, and my husband would get home from a 15 hour day at work and help with my little girls while the women arrived. My husband would eat with the girls while I ate with the women in my group, because there is so much significance in breaking bread together. Then we would move to my office to continue group. By the time the women left for the evening, my family was usually in bed. My current group meets on Wednesday nights. It is way more challenging now. I have a 11, 8, and 6 year old. My husband goes to bed at 2pm on Wednesday nights and gets up for work around 9pm. One daughter had to miss her Wednesday night soccer practice this past season because there was not a mom that I was willing to leave her with. That is a sacrifice that we chose. So, I get the kids home from school, get homework done with them, get the house cleaned up, usually holler at someone to stop fighting, get dinner ready, tell the kids they need to be quiet and not scream and wake their dad up, the women arrive, I usually have to move t-shirts and order forms off my couches in the office so they can set their stuff down, I make the kids plates and set them in front of the TV, and the women and I go to the dinning room to break bread. After dinner we make our way to my office for group. I have two couches and a chair so there is plenty of room to sit, though everyone usually sits in the same place every week. I always have to step out of the office to break up a fight or tell someone to be quiet at least twice an evening. When my husband gets up at 9, I step into the kitchen and make his sandwiches, the ladies take a restroom break, and I send the kids to bed. Then I make my way back to the office and we resume until we are done. After group, after I kick everyone out for the night, I often stay up for a couple hours to detox emotions so that I don’t wake up heavy. So, my answer is that I juggle it as it comes but I couldn’t just say that… I had to explain my chaos so you could see that it is truly a juggling act that requires a lot of grace for everyone including myself.

Alysha Fletcher: How do you handle kids and Discipling? Private matters are often discussed, and kids can intrude on those moments. At least in my home, my children want to be with me all the time.

It can be difficult. You walk this fine line of modeling for your children and also knowing that small ears have big mouths. My group will discuss their highs and lows in the dinning room that has no closed doors, but our main talks happen behind a closed door. My husband gave me a huge gift when he remodeled my office to accommodate a discipleship group. An office with a lockable door. We are not without interruptions even with a lockable door. There have been times when I had to rock a toddler to sleep during group or a mom had to bring her infant for a year. Teaching kids that you love them but also explaining to your kids why they shouldn’t be in the room with you all the time is a huge lesson for them. It takes time and consistency for everyone to stick to a plan. I took all my kids on a one-on-one date and taught them the importance of having alone time with me. It helped them to respect the time I have with my women more.

Alysha Fletcher: How do you help people you know you are supposed to walk with; overcome obstacles (like having small children and no help from a spouse) that seem to make entering a Discipling relationship difficult?

There is a verse in Isaiah 57 that says, “ build up, build up, prepare the way, remove every obstruction from my People’s way”. I would find out what the obstacle is and if the woman wants help removing that obstruction. If she does, seek help from your village. If she wants help, the Lord will make a way. If she doesn’t… it will always be an excuse.

Grace & Peace

Chorley

Interviews with Disciple Makers: Tamyara Henson

.Reading time 22 minutes.

I can’t remember exactly how long ago I met Tamyara. I also don’t remember the exact moment that we became family. I guess that is because C.S. Lewis was right about store’ love. You don’t know when exactly it starts, you only recognize it once it has already happened. When I met Tamyara, she was not a person of peace for me. The things she said rubbed me the wrong way and I my words did not rest with her. At least they didn’t rest in any good way. I also knew that I had no fans in her family. The reality is that we both had some growing up to do. It took a few years of learning how to love people for who they are and recognizing that unity in the body brings peace. There are always growing pains that come with maturing. I can honestly say that through all this maturing, I have felt the pain. Watching the Lord transform Tamyara has made it all worth it.

Tamyara has faced her fair share of growing pains. She has also pruned many dead branches and has shown sustainable fruit in her life.  Tamyara Henson is married to Chad Henson. They have two boys, Benjamin(13) and Noah(12). They live in Midwest City, Ok. Tamyara was born and raised in eastern Oklahoma county. She went to Randall University straight out of high school and currently works for a tag agency. Tamyara is part of the Worship team ministry and my dear friend lives with chronic pain. I have a lot of sympathy for anyone that is dealing with pain all the time. I pray you read this very raw, honest and vulnerable interview with grace.

Chorley: From the moment that discipleship kicked off at Harrah Church? How did your journey of Discipleship go?

Tamyara: I was not on board with it from the beginning. The shift in culture and misunderstandings lead to all of my extended family leaving the church. This created a lot of family tensions that I still deal with today. I was invited into a second-generation group, then it was swept out from under me.  

Chorley: When you say that it was swept out from under you what do you mean by that?

Tamyara: I was invited into a group. We met and had dinner as a group. We set up when we were going to meet and laid out how things would go and everyone was really excited… Two days later we received a phone call that we are not going to have a group it is just not going to happen.

Chorley: How did being invited into a group and then it failing to launch impact you?

Tamyara: It hurt. To be blunt. I was pissed. I was already having identity problems and it really messed with those issues that were already there. I allowed a negative situation to have a bigger impact on me than it had to and for longer than it had to.

Chorley: I’m walking with you, so I already know.. but for those that don’t know you, how long were you not in a group after that situation happened?

Tamyara: A little over a year.

Chorley: What did you have to resolve with yourself and the Lord before you could even attempt to be in a disciple making group again?

Tamyara: I had to walk through a lot of identity stuff. I had to sit with him on that and truly know what it meant that there is a time and place for everything and the Lord had a purpose for this all to play out.

Chorley: Did you join a newly started group?

Tamyara: No. I had some women that I knew were purposely meeting with me to possibly invite me in at some point. I didn’t know it would be to be with a group that was already started. But I did start with a group that had already been meeting for a year.

Chorley: How was it joining a group that had already walked together for a year?

Tamyara: It was very awkward. Since I was having identity issues, the first night I walked in it felt like , hey I’m the rotten one of the bunch.

Chorley: What exactly made you think that?

Tamyara: When things fell apart with the first group, I really felt tossed aside.

Chorley: After the first night… how did it go?

Tamyara: It went better each week. Like… Each week I dreaded it less and the dread was not as heavy.

Chorley: How was the learning curve joining a group that had already been together for so long?

Tamyara: I always felt like there were times that I could speak up and have things explained better to me. Everyone in the room would answer my questions freely.

Chorley: When you say less dread, what exactly were you dreading?

Tamyara: I was dreading being vulnerable, I was dreading opening up more and more of myself each week. For a long time, I felt like I put on a show. But at d group you are open, honest and vulnerable and everyone is going to see your flaws and this is not the Tamyara that they see on Sundays.

Chorley: DO you think the western church culture has set us up to hide our authentic selves?

Tamyara: I think it has. Growing up in that culture, you are basically taught that the things that happen at home are kept at home. You are to be pleasing at church on Sunday even if your life is falling down around you. You hide your junk. This perfect Christian. I know that I catch myself trying to wear the weight of what people say about me. It is hard and I cant let that define me. Disciple making culture is different than western church culture. Disciple making culture gives you more freedom to be who Christ says you are.

Chorley: What is it that made you realize that others can’t define you?

Tamyara: What the Bible says about my identity. If the Lord set me apart, why should I let what other people say about me have any weight in my life?

Chorley: What did it look like the first time someone fought for your freedom in group?

Tamyara: It wasn’t in group; it was one on one with you over the phone. It was when me you and Robin were meeting and I had fallen asleep 3 times while we were meeting. I was so embarrassed. I thought I had only fallen asleep once. It was then that you brought to my attention, how badly I was addicted to pain pills and muscle relaxers. It literally made me feel ill. I made a promise to you that I was going to come off of those medications. I started going  through withdrawal immediately. I came to group going through withdrawal. I sat at your table sicker than a dog. And.. had to be driven home by Brittany because I was so sick. But every day I could feel more and more freedom. I could be open to accept what the Lord had for me and his plan for me. I was able to actually absorb more at group and be more present minded with those around me.

Chorley: When we were on the phone and when you were going through withdrawals next to the dinner rolls… how did the group respond?

Tamyara: With grace that I did not deserve. I remember, I can’t remember who said it… but when I went to leave for the night…someone said, well, you stayed longer than we expected you to stay. They all poured into me all week. I remember Brittany talking SO much on my drive home and I just couldn’t listen any more because I was so sick. I remember I got home and Chad met us in the drive way, I got out of the car and puked.

Chorley: So, you didn’t get released at the end of that year with the rest of everyone. You got what I respectfully call, recycled. What was that like for you?

Tamyara: The night that the group got released, was bittersweet. I was so happy for them. But it brought back those old feelings. Like if my original group had started, I would be released too. But I also know that it is the Lords will. He has plans for me. I’m also the type that I was excited to join a new group and get to know new women as intimately as I knew these women that were being. I know that when I am released that those women will be just as happy for me as I was for them.  

Chorley: So, first you were invited to a group. It failed to launch. Then you were meeting with me, and another woman and mornings were not working for you. Then I asked you to join my already started group, a year late… and you were with that group for a year until they were released. Then you continued with me into another group…. How did that go?

Tamyara: The first night it was just Robin, Cheyanna, Andi and Me… Then the next six weeks I didn’t show up. I let a lot of things influence my decision to check out. My health, not feeling worthy, being insecure, having to open up fresh wounds, having to tell my Jesus story with every new group, I had fallen back into the relying on pain medicine and worldly things to get me through, not abiding with the Lord, and feeling disgusting inside  would determine if I was going to group. I would wake up the morning of group and just decide, nope… not going today. After six weeks of me not showing up, You pulled me out of service and we skipped the message and went to the lobby to talk. You told me, “You have to crap or get off the pot, either way, which ever you decide I love you” You also reminded me what I promised in the covenant that I signed. A couple days after that, I called and told you I was stepping away for a break from Discipleship. Then we were on our way to see family, on the way there I got a text from Whitney, because Chad was going to help her prepare for house church. I don’t remember the scripture, but that got Chad and I talking which led Chad to pour Scripture into me, which prior to that moment, I always fought against because I didn’t want to come up with a plan to change things. The trip to see family took two hours. In that two hours, three different times I opened up to Chad some things that I had kept buried that every time it was brought up, I would almost vomit, but it was like once I got that stuff out of my mouth, I had this freedom inside, that unless you are abiding you wouldn’t understand. In that two hours, Chad helped me realize how good discipleship can be and one of the things that I had opened up to him about was that I was intimidated by you. I remember him telling me that if there is anyone that understands me with my health issues… its Andi. It was over that weekend that I finally truly sat down with the Lord and the covenant that you gave me and it was that  following Sunday at the all church celebration that I sat down with you again. I was able to really open up to you and be honest about what had been going on and why I had stepped away and ran. I repented for not holding up my end of the covenant and handed you a new signed covenant. After me being gone for 5 months, You showed me grace and just accepted me back. That was the worst and hardest 5 months. It was worse than the year after the first group that failed to launch. I came back to group as soon as our season of rest was over and it was You, Robin, Cheyanna, Shelby (Who I had never met) and me. This season has been good. When I leave here on Wednesday, I look forward to the next week. The first night I came back, it was like I had never left.

Chorley: There was a night this year that I was too sick from a fibromyalgia flare up, to lead group. How did that go for you?

Tamyara: You contacted me and asked me about leading at my home, but we are in the middle of home repairs… so you told me, I could cancel group, or find somewhere to meet. It was my choice. I chose to reach out to the ladies and see who could host. Robin opened her home. The week leading up to me leading group on my own… gave me no anxiety. None. Which is not like the old Tamyara. I went from not showing up at all and coming up with excuses eight months ago to leading group when you were sick and not even present to assist me. It was good for all of us. Especially me. I had always felt that I might not be able to do this or lead well, but that night showed me that I am capable and equipped. I sat with the Lord and asked for guidance and the Lord just revealed to me that the number one thing that I could teach was the identity triangle; Which is a disciple making tool we use to show us in scripture how our identity needs to be found in Christ.

Chorley: What are you most excited about for your future?

Tamyara: I Just started a new job, I am helping direct people to the Lord, Discipleship is going well and I’m excited to see what the Lord has in store for me.

I like to ask family members for their 2 cents. So I asked Benjamin, Tamyara’s son: How have you seen the Lord change your mom over the last 2 years?

            –My mom has grown more confident in the Word. She turns to scripture before anything else. She listens to the word and obeys it.

Then I asked her husband Chad: What is one thing that everyone needs to know about Tamyara’s transformation through Discipleship?

            –Before entering a discipling relationship, Tamyara’s identity was defined by what people thought of her and said about her. She had a fear of being left out. She tried hard to fit in no matter what it took. She saw the results of discipleship in other women at our church and wanted those same things in her life. We had many conversations about why she wasn’t chosen to be discipled in the beginning. She took exclusion as a sign that she wasn’t good enough or popular enough. It really jacked with her identity. Now, as Tamyara walks with you (Chorley) in a discipling relationship, I’ve seen her grow so much. Tamyara is secure in who she is in Christ. The words and actions of people no longer define her. They still hurt sometimes but she knows what Ephesians 1 says and what God says about her. She knows the truth and lets the truth set her free. I am watching now as people are beginning to see Jesus in her. The transformation has been incredibly sweet to watch. I’ve been watching my wife become my ministry partner. I thank God for her.

I pray this interview finds you well and encourages you as much as it has me.

Grace & Peace

Chorley

Interviews with Disciple Makers: Jenny Brockman

.Reading time 18 minutes.

I thought now would be a great time to interview some Disciple Making women. One thing that I know; is that Disciple making does not rest on just one person. It rests on the Lord and everyone doing their part. There is no ultimate Disciple maker on Earth. Just as I do not believe that there is an ultimate way to make disciples. I know how I make disciples and I know that it works for me. There are varying ways and as long as you are striving to imitate Christ in the method in which you are attempting to make disciples, who can say you are wrong.

Meeting with Jenny on a Friday morning is easier for me than some. She may live out in the middle of nowhere Oklahoma, but that nowhere is only 15 minutes from my home. This made the drive quick. When I pulled up to the Brockman’s new home, I was greeted by Jenny and four smiling boys covered in dirt. I don’t say this because they are dirty feral boys. I say this because Jenny is a mom that allows her boys to run around and get dirty and explore their 40 acre property. They have a couple cows, a couple dogs and couple kittens. After getting my three actually feral children on their way to fun town, I headed inside. Her floors were clean, and her laundry room doors were pulled shut just like mine would have been. I took my shoes off and headed to find a seat on the couch. Jenny talked about her dislike of her couches but all I could think about while she spoke was the memories and miracles that those couches had been through. The first night I met Jenny, I remember seeing those couches. I believe those couches came from Jenny’s mom or grandmother, but I don’t remember for sure. I remember from the story; they were perfect when they came. Those couches were present for Jenny to relax after her hysterectomy.  They were a comforting place to sit while she mourned the loss of her mentor. They were present when Jenny laid her life down and helped women fight for freedom from things of this world that held them down. Those couches are where I sat and listened to David mourn for a family member that he wanted to help but didn’t know how and in the same breath tell me how he was praying for my husband. Those couches are well worn because the Lord saw fit to give Jenny and David the responsibility of raising four boys. Those couches are well worn because Jenny and David have been commissioned to have dozens of men and women sit in their home and cry out the things of the Lord. The prayers that have been prayed on those couches and the tears that have stained the fabric have been gifts from the Lord. We praise God for those well-worn couches.

Jenny with her first group

So, here is how our chat went…

Andi: How do you think Discipleship has affected your family?

Jenny: I think it has only been good for my family. They have to give up their time too. But it also costs them something too. Every single week. The have to do extra cleaning share Mom and Dad two nights a week. But especially being in this house we are better. In  the old house we would eat and close the doors and we would be completely shut off, so the kids could not really see what was going on. Here they eat their dinner at the bar, and they will have their own conversations over there. But usually when they are done, we will still be doing highs and lows at the table, and the boys will come around and prop themselves up on their knees over here and put their elbows in the windows over there (next to the table where all of Jenny’s women are sitting) and listen to us talk about what is good and what is bad and what the Lord is teaching us. It is good for them to get and see the importance of Discipleship and how everyone plays a role. They are learning stuff in the word they may have not otherwise. They are also learning from other people than Just us. From reliable people.

Andi: Out of all the people that have come into your home, besides you and David, who do you think has had the biggest impact on their (her kids) lives?

Jenny: Can I answer that in a different way? Or give you an answer to a slightly different question? The women and men that come into my house really love my kids. There are a few that take a special interest in my kids. There are people who Discipleship has brought into our home, but David didn’t necessarily disciple. They don’t owe us anything. Like… I feel like I owe Rachel something. She laid her life down for me. There are people around us like: Michael Farris, Dustin Hunt, Chris Moix, and Dan Dixon. When my kids are behaving in a way that is inconsistent with who they are, these men use every opportunity to pour into them. They remind them who they are. They give them the word; they give them homework and unconditional love. Probably two or three years ago, Chris taught Garett who he is. After washing him in the word, the voice of the Lord for Garett was that “ I am a man of integrity and I am a man who considers others before himself”. I was like, oh that’s cool. But then Chris actually did it. When he would see my son, he would say: “hey, who are you?” Even to this day Chris initiates conversations with Garett by saying, “Hey, who are you?”. And that longevity and that constant “you are making dumb choices, but your choices don’t define you, Jesus does” That constant reminder has made a giant impact on his life. When you love my kids well, you are loving me well.

The second group of women who walked with Jenny

Andi: Including Rachel, there were originally 9 women in our group. Some have since passed away or walked away from Disciple making. What does is say to you when you see people that were so invested in this, just walk away? Because we have been people in many groups that have walked away either during the process or after they have been released and commissioned. Not what does this say about them, but how does this impact you?

Jenny: It makes me sad. When you have done hard things with people… many hard things. When you share all the real things about yourself, there is a bond formed. It is crazy. I never had sisters. I have one brother. Now I have sisters. So, to have gained a bunch of sisters and to have lost some sisters, it is hard.

Andi: Do you think there is mourning phase that takes place when this happens or when someone breaks covenant?

Jenny: Yes.

Andi: How do you walk through that?

Jenny: The first few times I walked through it, it jacked up my identity. Whether it was from someone who walked away and made the choice that yea, I don’t want to do this after release or during the process. I default back into people pleasing and trying to earn it. But now I also think that the road is narrow, and few find it. I think that is true. It is narrow, rocky and has sharp drop offs and few people want to walk on it. It is hard.

Andi: I agree, when you have moments like this or other hard things you are walking through, does your husband pour into you and give you help and guidance?

Jenny: yes, he does, and he gives me the word and fights for my freedom. However, I have learned about my identity from Rachel, David taught me, I have taught others, and yet It was still a not working for me. David knows I come at it from a different level. I was always a good kid! I didn’t make bad choices. I didn’t have sex before marriage. I didn’t do drugs. I didn’t do things that upset my parents. I earned it. I was a good girl. The angle that I had to approach my identity from was, HUMBLE YOURSELF SINNER! So, where Jesus taught me my identity, it wasn’t Rachel or David or Chris, Jesus taught me from Romans 9:11

            Though they were not yet born and had nothing either good or bad- in order that God’s purpose of election  might continue, not because of works but because of him who calls.  

So, basically before anything, before they had done good or bad, God had elected them to chosen for part of this story. I have tried to explain this to people and I have yet to explain it good. I know my righteousness is filthy rags! They people around me have seen me struggle with identity and tried to help me, but ultimately it was Jesus that taught me.

Andi: So, the question was, how does David help you… and your answer is he doesn’t.

Jenny: (Hysterical Laughing) No, he does help me with things all the time and he walk me through things. Just not identity.

Andi: What is the biggest myth about 1st generation disciple makers.

Jenny: That we have our lives more together than anyone else. We are hot messes too.

Andi: What do you think are the dangers of putting Disciple makers on a pedestal?

Jenny:  Well, it is a little interesting isn’t it. What we do is, follow me as I follow Jesus. I am going to endeavor  to lay my life out as something for you to imitate. So, there is some of that, that we do. But! Those people that I am in covenant with know and see all the sin that I reveal to them when we meet in my living room. There is not a pedestal in my living room because they see the way I am and the words I say and watch me get on my knees and repent in front of them. So, you are setting people up for failure or disappointment because when you put someone on a pedestal , they will fall and fail you. Jesus is the only one that can be on that pedestal. This is what the Lord says, “ Have mercy on me, O’ God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my inequity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions and my sin is ever before me.  -Psalm 51:1-3

That’s for me, that’s for you, that’s for our first gen group, that’s for Chris Moix, that’s for all of us.

About a week ago I called David (Jenny’s husband) and asked him a couple questions and I think this is one of my favorite things to do. In a world where people are so ready to complain about their spouse, I choose to be around people who choose to biblically love and respect their spouse. I asked David, “How has discipleship changed Jenny? How has Jenny having been discipled and now making Disciples changed your marriage? And is there anything anyone NEEDS to know about your wife?” David finally called me this past Friday to give me his answer. He tried to clear his throat, but I could almost hear the weight behind his voice as he began his answer. This told me that he meant every word that he was about to say. That the words he was about to say about his wife had stirred his soul.

“Jenny didn’t play sports as a kid. She was never really part of a team. I never saw Jenny as someone who was willing to do hard things. I was a youth pastor for a while and Jenny just saw herself as a youth pastor’s wife. My job was my business and my job to figure out and she was just there to help me for services. My wife has become someone that continuously hears the voice of the Lord and chooses to do hard things for the kingdom. My wife has become someone that I am equally yoked with. She is on my team. My wife has become someone who always lays her life down for others. My wife now owns the fact that she is a minister of the Gospel. She bends to the weight of the Lord. I know that she could make Disciples without me… but couldn’t without her. She lays her life down for our family, the women she walks with and the men I walk with. She does things for my group that I can’t do for hers. I love her.” -David Brockman

Thank you all for stopping by to learn more about just one of the amazing Disciple making women that I will be interviewing over this season of rest. If you would like to reach out to Jenny you can email her at: Jenny@harrahchurch.org

Grace & Peace

Chorley

Don’t let the competition trouble you

.Reading time 7 minutes.

I have been known to be a competitive person. The only friend I have that I know is way more competitive than me is Emily. We grew up together, and we were doubles partners in tennis. As adults we are both soccer fans and more so, big Jesus fans. You definitely get a close up look at how competitive someone is when they compete in a non-contact sport. This is not an expose’ on Emily. This is a quick note for you about the things that we tend to compete with each other on. The non-contact stuff.

Social media is not what makes us competitive. I have heard many people talk about how if it weren’t for social media and reality shows, we wouldn’t have people competing over looks, wealth, and status. This is a huge lie that we have been led to believe. If you look at the book of Galatians, you can see how it is not the outright lies that led us astray… it is the slight lies.

I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel. Not that there is another one but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the Gospel.      Galatians 1:6-7

We have to look at the world and understand that the devil works in very cunning ways. He does not put something out there that is always a blatant lie. He puts half truths out there. It is harder to argue a half truths. When we look at social media; we can look at the side that causes division in marriages and jealousy between women or we can look at the side that shares the Gospel with someone who may not see it anywhere else for the rest of the day. I do want to add that, if social media is a lord in your life, by all means ditch it! We need to understand that it is not the “looks” and the “likes” that people are competing for on social media. Those are just things that are surface level. What is really being competed for is the gratification and worthiness that comes from the looks and the likes. We all have this desire to be wanted and to be found worthy. The desire to get likes and complements from everyone on social media is not a new feeling or desire. If we look all the way back to Cain, we find this emptiness. If we look at the brothers that threw Joseph in a well, we see this emptiness. If we look at Martha, we can see this emptiness. I use the word emptiness on purpose. All of these things can be seen as jealousy, or anger, or feelings of worthlessness, or a need for recognition.

            Every time that we see broken people in the Word or in the World, we are seeing people that are just a little too far from God. People who have momentarily forgotten the truth. I don’t say this as if I am not one of these people every now and then. I am 100% someone that faces adversity that can steer me away from the Lord and his truths. I am one who often looks in the mirror and doubts the Lord’s decisions in my creation. I am someone who tried to fix the Lord’s creation with plastic surgery. Me trying to fix the Lord’s work was slowly killing me. I will save that story for another day. I say this so that you may be remembered when the time comes that you feel any bit of emptiness; that comes from the world. I want to encourage you to remember that the Lord says that you are…

Feel free to download this image!

I want to encourage you and myself, to stop and recognize the things that we are competing for are unnecessary and just cause us conflict. We don’t need to compete with other women, other moms, other singers, other musicians, other ministers, other disciple makers, other entrepreneurs, or other believers. We have all been given our path and our own portion.

            I saw a picture on social media that said, “Sit with women who sit at the feet of Jesus. The conversations are different. You walk away feeling inspired, not inferior because those are the women who know this Christian walk is a race but not a competition.” Do not be so quick to desert him who called you in the grace of Christ

Are you sitting with women who sit at the feet of Jesus? (And I don’t mean just on Sunday morning.)

Are you having conversations that are kingdom focused and not world focused?

Are you inspired or do you feel inferior?

Are you in a competition that the Lord never signed you up for?

Take time to build other women up. If anyone tears you down… dust your feet off and walk away.

Grace & Peace

-Chorley

ALSO… Starting next week I will be posting interviews with Disciple making women. They will be sharing the good, the bad and the ugly. They will give us an inside look to the pillars of faith Disciple making has built for them, as well as some of the struggles that they have faced. If you have any questions that you want me to ask them, send them to me from the contact page.

grayscale photo of couple walking on road

Geneva’s Model

.Reading time 11 minutes.

            I was not raised to be submissive or subservient. I was raised by a very feminist mother. The Lord was not prevalent in our home. Not because of feminism. These are just two separate facts but I think that they go hand in hand.

My grandma was a submissive woman. She would get up early every morning and make my grandpa breakfast before he would leave to work at the family body shop. She would take care of house chores, balance the shop books, or run errands. Then she would make sure to have a big, in my opinion, lunch on the table for my grandpa around noon. Correction, a dinner. Where I grew up the mid-day meal is called dinner. Lunch is for fancy people. I cant remember what the main course was. However, I do remember there was often a cucumber and onion salad, or yellow squash and potatoes cooked in cornmeal. My grandma, Geneva, and her five siblings were raised by a one-armed widow. My great grandmother “Mother” came from Missouria-Osage mixed breed Indians and Irish immigrants that had settled in the Appalachian Mountains. Most Missouria descendants still call the state Missoura’ Our Irish side that came over, were not slaves so much as indentured servants working off their boat ticket. No royal blood here. My grandma married my grandpa before her 18th birthday. After facing the Dust bowl and the great depression, my great grandfather died in a farming “accident”. I think this is important to note because Geneva was never shown how a marriage should work. She was never shown a good example of love between a husband and wife.

My grandpa was an orphan. In 1934 there was a funeral for the notorious Pretty Boy Floyd. It is said that between 10,000-40,000 people were in attendance. When the police finally got the crown to disperse and leave by nightfall, My grandfather was left abandoned. No one came forward to claim the infant, so he was put up for adoption. He was raised as Calvin Kernell. I loved my grandfather. He taught me how to work on cars and fish. He encouraged me to join the Army while my grandmother discouraged me. What I didn’t know as a child is that he had been a raging alcoholic most of his life. The alcohol lead him to be a mean abusive husband and father.

Knowing what I know now about the early life of my grandparents… I wondered how their marriage worked. I wondered how a woman could love and serve a man who was hateful and abusive for so many years. This showed me so much about my mother as well. She grew up watching her mother be submissive and serve a husband who did not deserve her. This type of trauma as a child will usually have a direct impact on intimate relationships later in life.

I walk with women through the process of Disciple making. I pour into them and teach them what the word says about different situations in their life. Most of you know this. One of the biggest things (One of!) I teach them is that they are to submit to their husband. The first time I ever heard the Bible taught that… I was appalled. I wanted nothing to do with it. I didn’t want to submit to anything, let alone a man. I was a strong independent woman! I was fully capable! I didn’t NEED a man, and I didn’t WANT to submit to him.

I am not going to write out all of the verses that tell a wife to submit to her husband. All you have to do to find them is google: Scripture about submitting to your husband. You will find plenty. I do want to highlight a couple.

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, … 1 Peter 3:1-22 ESV

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, …  Ephesians 5:22-33 ESV

My grandma knew the word and she was faithful to her convictions about submitting to my grandpa. I spent a week at my grandpa’s deathbed with my mother. He was slowly becoming less and less. The doctors gave him three weeks. The week that my mother and I were there, my grandpa talked to us both whenever he was awake. He knew my mother was his daughter. However, he believed that I was my grandma. My grandma who had already passed. I admit, I do look remarkably similar to my grandma. I also didn’t want to repeatedly tell a dying man that his wife had passed away. We had a few talks about how the dogs were and how the shop was doing. The one conversation that will always stick with me was when he made a confession. He looked at me and said, “Geneva, Thank you for…(then he just cried)”. The only thing I could muster myself to say was, “Oh, Calvin” Which is something my grandma would often say when my grandpa was rambling on about random things he felt was important. In that moment I saw that he had been won over. Not with my actions that week. No. He had been won over by years of my grandmother submitting to him and loving him well. No matter what, she loved him and submitted. I am not encouraging women to stay in abusive relationships or leave. I am not saying that you become a yes man or a doormat. I am only saying that I have witnessed how a woman who was never shown how a healthy marriage should go, was able to read what the word says and walk it out the best she could under the hardest circumstances. It took me years to really understand the whole situation. She inadvertently modeled this well for me and I will always be grateful. I do want to testify that my submission to my husband, has moved his heart in amazing ways and has never once demeaned me or made me feel less than.

Married?

-Do you submit to your husband? (if no, why not?)

-Do you understand what biblical submission is?

Single?

-Is the person you are dating worthy of submitting to?

Grace & Peace

-Chorley

P.S.

I will be updating my store this week with pictures of new shirts. I will also be updating the resources page to add a link to a free newsletter that my friend Lindsay Dryer sends out via email once a month to subscribers. I hope to have this stuff done by the end of the week. As always I love you guys and thank you for taking time out of your week to read this. If you have any questions, please send me a message. I appreciate all the “shares, comments, and likes”.

monochrome photography of people shaking hands

Prosthetics make Partnerships

.Reading time 7 minutes.

I am in my third month at being at a new church. I new body of believers. I new denomination. I new mission. I finally got a chance to sit down with the women of this new body and discuss what exactly I do.

            I am a disciple maker. I invest in reliable women who will invest in more reliable women. I spend a lot of time with women teaching them Jesus words. Then I show them how to walk in his ways. Then they go off and do his works. It is a beautiful cycle.

            I don’t believe that disciple making can only look one way. I know that the women who were discipled along side of me, do things different than I do things. That is fine. I know that some churches have classes on how to be a disciple. I am not saying they are wrong. I am just saying that I do things differently than some. If I see Jesus do it in the word, I do my best to emulate that. If I do not see him do it in the word, I walk with extreme caution.

            I have a prosthetic implant in my neck. When I was in Iraq in 2006, there were a series of mortars dropped on a forward operating base that I was stationed at. Long story short, a percussion from one mortar slammed me and another soldier into a truck. For a long time, this caused pain in my shoulder blade. Little did I know that I was experiencing nerve pain in my shoulder blade because the blast had caused me to break 4 vertebrae and herniate 6 disks. I didn’t know until almost 10 years later when I moved my neck one day and it just got stuck. So, I had surgery to replace 2 of my disks. The ones causing the most pain. The doctor decided that it would be best to not get a donor disk. Instead, I would be receiving a man made prosthetic. The reality is that often a donor disk is rejected by the recipient. The recipients body sees that donor disk as a infiltration that must be killed to protect the body from becoming infected. The human body is amazing like that. It always seeks self-preservation.

            I have known the Pastor at the church I am at since I was about 13. I say 13 because I don’t have a lot of memory from that time in my life due to that fact that I had a substance abuse problem. I believe that this relationship that we have has been building since that time. I have shared with him and his wife, my faults, my past, and where I am now in my walk with Christ. I have shown myself to be a humble person and ready to assist.

             I am a prosthetic. I am here to help strengthen them. I know that it is not all up to me. I know that it is also up to them and the Holy Spirit. After all the Holy Spirit is my senior advisor in all of this. I can not be a donor. I can not be something that has the potential to infect or harm their body. I know that I will not be accepted by all. I walk into this body knowing that I will not be received by all. Paul was not received by all either. Not that I am comparing myself to Paul, but rather to say, if a great man was rejected by some, why wouldn’t I be as well? What I am sure of: is that one is enough. If I can just walk with one person, it is enough. If I can encourage one person, it is enough. If I can plant one seed, it is enough.

            I am writing this to encourage those that are sitting with the Lord and have realized that there is a calling on their life to go. To Yatsa. To Poreuomai. If  Isaiah can stand up and say, “ Here I am, send me”. Can we? When the Lord calls us to leave our homes and go build the tower somewhere else, will we? If Moses can hold up his staff long enough to endure the battle, can we? And If we can’t, can we at least hold up the arms of those willing to do so? For those of you that will Go… be a prosthetic. Be helpful. Strengthen and encourage. Don’t be a donor Don’t be one that is only given away when its host no longer needed or wanted it. Do not attack. To those of you that have someone coming in: prepare your heart to receive new things. Don’t assume that it is something that is meant to hurt you or attack you. Prosthetics make partnerships.

The best way for the Prosthetic to prepare and the Recipient to receive; is in prayer.

Pray without ceasing.  -1 Thessalonians 5:17

Grace & Peace

Chorley

P.S.

Don’t forget to head over to the resources page and check out my friend Sara on the Grace Warriors podcast! It is great!

Hike like a Disciple

.Reading time 9 minutes.

I am sore and just need to rest. I know that my life has been called to live a life on a narrow road. Part of that narrow road includes fostering relationships between women. My amazing sister Kelly, often walks this road with me. We have recognized a weakness and after sitting with the Lord, we decided that we need to focus hard on helping women build relationships with each other. What we both know is that making friends and building relationships are harder in 2021 than they were in 33AD because we don’t actually do life on life to the extent that women did in 33AD. What I mean is we don’t all go to the same small market. We don’t all go down to the river together to wash clothes. We don’t deliver each other’s babies. I am not saying that we should be doing these things. I am just saying that life on life and fostering relationships in 2021 looks different than it did in 33AD.

            I took 9 women hiking this past weekend. I wanted to do something fun and outdoors in my anticipation of spring coming. I started planning about a month ago. I figured out where I wanted to go quickly. The decision was made to go to the Wichita Wildlife Reserve. Then I started inviting different women to join me. After everything was all said and done, I had invited 120 women. I know that seems like a lot of women to take on a hiking trip. Once you reach this huge number of people when hiking, it becomes overcrowded fast. I knew that I would not end up with more than 25 women hiking at the most. I knew this because I knew that what I would be asking of these women was costly. I cast a wide net. Nine out of 120 women were up for the challenge. Why so little? I will tell you.

            There were a few reasons for women not to go. We were set to go on a Saturday morning. Many women set aside their weekends for their family. They go hard doing so much through the week, they want to give their family the time due. Some women are either single moms or have a spouse that works weekends. This made an obstacle for them to hurdle. A person’s priorities and prior engagements can determine their willingness to join us. That’s okay. They weren’t wrong. We were set to leave at 5am. Yes you read that correct 5am. We leave our area at 5am so that we can make it to the hiking trail in the mountains by 7am. When we get there early; we are able to avoid a lot of traffic, see the sunrise, catch the animals on their morning walk, avoid most other hiking groups, and most importantly we are able to avoid the majority of the heat. There are a few reasons to leave at 5, the biggest being the safety of all hikers in the group. Dehydration, heat cramps, heat exhaustion, and heat stroke are killers. The only water that is guaranteed on a hike, is the water you bring with you. It was not the opportune time fore some women to join us. That is okay. They weren’t wrong. We had decided to hike 6.1 miles. This is the full Bison trail. Hiking a 6.1-mile trail can be very physically demanding. Most American women can not go from living our everyday lives with minor physical activity to hiking 6 miles through the mountains. The trail is not flat. The trail is up and down the whole way and has a 417 ft elevation gain. Some believed they were unable to physically complete the hike (some were right), some worried they would hold others back. They did not believe they were prepared to go the distance. That’s okay. They weren’t wrong.

            Then… there were the 9. The 9 that chose to make this a priority. They chose this over other things. They found a way. Many of them had to rearrange many things and rely on other people to make this possible, but they put in the work to do be able to go. 9 women made sure that they were where they needed to be when they needed to be there. They knew that they could not change the time but wanted to go bad enough they were not deterred by the inconvenient time. 9 women knew they could physically and mentally complete the test laid out for them. Whenever a few had doubts about their abilities, they chose to trust the Lord to bring them to the end of the trail. 9 women continuously checked on each other while on the trail. 9 women encouraged each other to keep going. 9 women either spoke scripture or received scripture with a glad heart. I don’t know about the other 9 women, but I know that I am tired and sore. I just need to rest and let myself recuperate.

All of the things that I have talked about here, having to do with the hiking trip, is also true about discipleship. Even when a wide net is cast, few will be caught and committed. [Matthew 7:13-14] Discipleship has to be a priority in your life. You have to be willing to sacrifice other things in life to follow Christ and teach others to do the same. [Luke9:23] [2 Timothy 2:2]You don’t always get to choose when things happen. Everything is based on the Lord’s timing.[Proverbs 16:9] If you are waiting for a more convenient time to walk as a disciple or disciple maker, you may never do it. [Luke 9:57-62]You have to count the cost before you can commit. [Luke14:28-30] You constantly have to remind yourself that the Lord prepares you, [Mark 1:3]encourages you [Romans 15:4], reminds you of scripture [2 Peter 1:12]and fully equips you to walk as his disciple. [Hebrews 13:20-21]

Hiking, just like discipleship, can wear on me and force me to rest and recoup. So today, I’m sore and need to rest physically. I always need to rest and recoup with the Lord. Resting with the Lord renews me physically and spiritually.

Are you prioritizing correctly?

Are you waiting for a more opportune time?

Are you willing and able?

Are you resting with the Lord?

Grace & Peace

Chorley

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Fellow Believers vs. Spiritual Family

.Reading time 10 minutes.

Relationships are weird and complex and amazing all at the same time. We read in Genesis that man was not meant to live alone. (Gen 2:18) How do we look at this in a whole sphere kind of way? There are two parts to this. We can take this in two different directions at the same time. The first is that we are not meant to live apart from God. Walking with God daily is a choice. Walking with God daily is one of the most important things that we can do. The second part of this is walking with others. Adam was given Eve: a helper. I know some may say that she was not a helper, only a vessel of temptation and bad influence. The reality is that we have no clue if Adam would have made the same choice whether Eve was there or not. The Word never says, “If Eve hadn’t convinced Adam, He never would have…” We all have parts of us that are not Christ-like. Adam was not innocent in this world changing event.

I talk about relationships because I have witnessed two different types of relationships lately. They may seem like twins on the surface, but they have quite different DNA.

The first relationship that I see is the relationship between fellow believers. This is encompassing many types of relationships. I would even go so far as to lump “Church Family” in this group. Many of the people that fall into this group are amazing people. They love, they are kind, and they read the word. They are the ones that invite you to church. They bring you a meal when you are sick. There are also many that do not love, are not kind, and don’t read the word. They are still believers. They are the ones that have never met each other but debate scripture on social media. I consider this all to be lumped together as “fellow believers”. The thing that ties this group together is that while the relationship is good, it is good. While it is also disposable. It is the relationship that can be here today and gone in a month. We see many people sever ties when they leave a church. The relationships slowly or even as quickly as it takes to click unfriend, disappear. We see this type of relationship play out in Luke 4. ( please read Luke 4 :14-30) He had begun his ministry and when he returned to Nazareth. He went to the synagogue and read from Isaiah. He went to the people that had known him a boy. He went to the people that he had been raised near. He went to people that were fellow Jews. Fellow believers of the one true God. As soon as they did not agree with what he was doing or saying, the relationship was over.

The next type of relationship is Spiritual Family. While, like I said before, on the surface to looks like “church family”, it is not. This group is also loving, kind, and reads the word. The difference is in the hurt and the pillars This is the  group that has walked though hard things together and come out looking more like Christ. This is the group that has spent hours fighting for each other’s freedom. This is the group that has shared each other’s burdens. This is the relationship that I long for all of you to have. I have this.

In 2016, I witnessed this in Nashville, TN. One of the harder things in my life is being unequally yoked. I had made a hard confession of pain, sin and shame about this to a group of 26 people. While I had grown a good relationship with many of the women, not all of them. I had yet to grow a good relationship with most of the men. One of the men spoke up and read, What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. -James 4:1-3. Then he said, “Let’s ask now”. So, I dropped to my knees to pray, and then 26 people, many that I did not have a relationship with, also dropped to theirs. All of us began to petition the Lord for my husband. Powerful prayers and weeping. If anyone would have walked in they might have thought we were a cult ready to sacrifice someone. (HAHA) After these five men vowed to dedicate one day a week to praying and some fasting for my husband. They still do this. I occasionally get calls asking for specific struggles to pray about. This is “Spiritual Family”.

I have also witnessed this in telling a woman to give her unborn baby to God. She had many pregnancy complications and was told the baby might not survive. While this hurt my heart, I knew what the word said. I had the obligation to fight for her freedom in this. I had the obligation and authority from the Lord to tell her that everything in this life is his plan and his will. That even if her baby were to die, that it would only be by Christ’s design. She came to know that the Love of Christ might spare her child a life of hurt and pain. Then, the Lord changed everything around she delivered a healthy baby. As he was delivered, I did not watch him come out. Instead I watched her face as she was overwhelmed with absolution. A baby boy that joyfully now calls me “Grandma”. His joyful smile and laughter lights up a room and when I see him my heart is reminded of the Lord’s steadfast love for us. I am also reminded of his mother’s freedom that was gained through tears brought on by a balance of truth and grace. There were things that she did not agree with or want to hear. However, she humbled herself to the Lord. This is Spiritual Family.

While I am in a season of mission I will remain tethered to my Spiritual Family. While Christ is my anchor and the Word is my rutter, they are the ones who remain in the boat with me. Through every storm, they remain. They are my helpers as I am theirs. This is the type of relationship I wish for you. I only found this through the process of making Disciples of Christ. I am not saying that relationships with fellow believers are wrong, I am saying that there is just a difference. Relationships with fellow believers can turn into Spiritual Family. Remember also, that relationships with Spiritual family can be hard too. It is not perfect. The great example of this is found in Acts 15:36-41, when Paul and Barnabas separate. While they went separate ways in ministry, Paul still had great things to say about Barnabas from Prison. They were still Spiritual Family. In my opinion, it is because they had already gone through hurt and the Lord has already built pillars in them.

Spiritual Family is built through hurt and pillars of faith.

My questions for you…

Do you have Spiritual Family?

Do you have people have give you truth and grace and you do the same for them?

Do you have people that are willing to bruise their knees for you?

Are you willing to wash their feet?

How can you turn your relationship with fellow believers into Spiritual Family?

Grace & Peace

-Chorley

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Maturing Like Vanilla

.Reading time 7 minutes.

Hello again my dear friends.  I have been incredibly grateful for all of you that have subscribed to this blog. If you have not yet subscribed and would like to… please head over to the homepage, scroll to the bottom and type in your email in the provided box. I do not sell your email address, and this does not subscribe you to junk mail.

I enjoy learning new things all the time. I like to think of myself as a jack of all trades. If I do not know how to do something, I try to learn. I spent a long time not being able to do things that looked interesting or fun. Yesterday marks 1 year exactly since I had my Explant surgery. For those that don’t know what this is… it is a surgery to remove breast implants. Basically in 2013 I had implants put in because I did not have my identity in Christ. That is the easiest explanation of why. Starting in 2015, I got sick. I continued to get sicker and sicker every year. I had so many strange ailments that I seemed like a hypochondriac. I found out that my implants were slowly killing me.

Since having them removed I have continued to get better. I have gotten so much healthier and been able to do so much more with my life. I am definitely more present as a mom and wife. I have also been able to have some amazing conversations with other women who have been sick because of the same thing. Through the sickness and toxicity, I developed fibromyalgia. There is currently no cure. I have days that are great, and I have days that I am in bed. I praise the Lord for allowing me to have so many more good days now. So, on good days, I want to live a full life and learn new things.

This week I took on the adventure of making my own vanilla extract. There are so many different ways to make it. One way that I found involved an Instapot, vodka, and a bunch of vanilla beans. I started with a clear liquid and after 35 minutes of pressure cooking the vodka with the beans, I had a beautiful amber liquid. I have no clue how it tastes. I can not even try it for another month. Right now, it still smells very alcoholic. The smells let me know that it is not ready. I am excited to see how it matures in a month. This whole process reminded me of our spiritual maturity.

Spiritual maturity is something that we all need to perceive with reality. I first got a good grasp of this maturity from Jim Putman’s book Real Life Discipleship. Jim explains the different stages of spiritual maturity as: Dead, Infant, Child, Teenager, Adult, Parent. I have come to focus on just: Dead, Infant, Teenager, Adult, Parent. I focus on those because that is what my spiritual mother taught me. If you want a breakdown of the different stages of maturity, I strongly encourage you to read Jim’s book or get with a disciple maker! One thing I know for sure is that age does not equate spiritual maturity. The traditional way to make vanilla extract involves putting the beans in vodka and letting it ferment for at least three months while occasionally shaking the bottle up. My vanilla is now 1 day old. If you put my vanilla next to a bottle that was traditionally made and also 1 day old… you would find that they are vastly different. There has been special care put into my vanilla to help it mature quicker. One way is not better than the other. They are simply different processes. Just as I know 50 year old women that are still spiritual infants while I know 30 year old women that are spiritual parents. The parents have had special care put into them.

One thing that I am reminded of is 2 Corinthians 3:1-18. I really want to focus on verse 18.         

 And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

This speaks into the fact that we are all being transformed over and over. While it is true that the process of making Disciples matures believers, it is also true that the maturing comes from the Lord. The Lord who is the Spirit. This maturing happens through abiding, reading the word, a solid prayer life, and making Jesus Lord of every aspect of your life. All of these things take time. They don’t happen overnight. We may reach spiritual maturity, but we will continue to move from glory to glory. By this I mean that there is glory in what we were, what we are, and what we are to become.

My questions for you…

Are you giving your spiritual life special care?

Are you using the right ingredients?

Are you rushing the maturing process?

There is too much in this verse for me to unpack it all in here. I encourage you to really study this verse and dig into unveiled face, beholding, transformed, and glory. Look into the Greek! What is the voice of the Lord for you in this verse? Don’t forget to check out the resource page on this site!

Grace & Peace

-Chorley