Tag: Suffering

Sentimental Stones

.Reading time 12 minutes.

I recently sold a bunk bed. When I see these words in print, they seem like small talk. They seem like the sort of thing you tell a friend while catching up at a coffee date. It is just furniture. However, every time I have tried to say them out loud, I can feel a dry lump in my throat. A lump that must be big because I know it is the force that is holding back a flood of tears. So, instead I don’t say it out loud. I just talk about my girls new beds. Don’t be confused, I am not overly sentimental. Most people in my generation grew up in houses filled with stuff and knick-knacks and try to be more minimal as adults. I have very few things from my childhood. No 80s toys, No baby blankies, No pictures. Everything I have almost makes it seem as if I didn’t exist before 2004. Some sort of witness protection plan.

I am coming to understand that the things that I am sentimental about are more like the stones at the Jordan river. The things that remind us of struggles and triumphs. The things that remind us of where the Lord has brought us through. The proof of what we believe and why we believe it.

I have this brown bowl in my kitchen. I think it probably came out in the 60s and most likely has lead paint. I keep it put away and ask my family to not use it as I don’t want it to get broke. It was my grandmother’s grapefruit bowl. Well, she would usually have a bowl of smacks cereal, then a grapefruit. She taught me about resilience and a quiet strength that is required to survive. She taught me to be grateful for even hard times because that is how we are refined. She tried to teach me that I didn’t have to have the last word… It would take decades for that to sink in. I am sentimental about that bowl.

I have a piece of the bomb that blew up my husband in 2006. It isn’t to remember the anxiety of standing in a guard tower for 6 hours watching the smoke in the distance and not knowing if he had been put in a body bag yet. It is to remind me of what I felt when I saw him again. 8 hours after the blast came over the radio, I was leaving for a security patrol out the gate when his convoy came through the gates. I first saw his big recovery truck mangled being towed by a recovery tank. You could see that the blast went right under the driver’s seat… his seat. I didn’t see him…and my chest felt so heavy I couldn’t breathe. Then I looked behind the truck and I saw him walking. His uniform was almost black and torn in a few places. His flak vest was hanging off him. He had his helmet in one hand and his rifle in the other. I didn’t run to him, and he didn’t run to me. We simply gave each other a nod that said everything that couldn’t be verbalized. The nod that gave us both the confidence to keep going. Then I drove out the gate down the road he just came from. I am sentimental about that scrap of metal.

Then I have these bunk beds… well had. We bought these beds in 2012 when we moved back to Oklahoma. We were staying with my dad while we were waiting to find a house here. My husband and I stayed on the bottom bunk and my son stayed on the top bunk. Then we bought a house and the bunk beds became my sons big boy beds in his own big boy room. This is the bed I tucked my son into for years. The years where I was lost, unhappy, and often drunk. This was his bed I woke him up in on his very first day of school. Then we ended up moving my son to another room and gave the bed to my youngest. My youngest who screamed and cried nonstop for a few years, so someone usually had to sleep in there with her. I would pray while holding her through her fits of rage until she passed out. I prayed that God would heal her little body. My in-laws slept in it when they would visit. They slept in it when they stayed here and helped me through a neck surgery, through a shoulder surgery, through cancer removal surgery, through a hysterectomy, through implant removal surgery. Army friends slept in it when they would stop in to reminisce the old days. There was also a time when marriage was especially hard. Times when my husband and I wouldn’t talk for days at a time. Times when I was just broken. During these times, I slept in this bed. I would cry myself to sleep and beg God to heal my husband, heal me, and heal our family. It was in this bed that I begged God to take my life if he wouldn’t heal my broken mind. The bed became a place of prayer for me.

Well, both of my girls will now be homeschooled, and I wanted to get them both beds with desks. So, the old bunk beds needed to go. When I listed the bed for sale, it took a few weeks to sell. I sold it to a nice family of 7. When they picked it up, I forgot the ladder and had to take them the ladder. While getting the ladder out of my SUV, I saw a place where my middle child had written, “I love you God”. It was on the underside of the bottom ladder step. (I knew it was her because she has written on most things in our home over the years.) Every memory of this bed flashed through my mind, and I almost lost it in the parking lot. Apparently, I am sentimental about that bed. After I put the ladder in the new owner’s car, I walked back to my car as I could feel tears well up in my eyes.

While I know that my family is far from perfect and we are continuing to be healed by God, I know we are also living answered prayers. Prayers that were spoken from that bed. I was suddenly emotional over a piece of furniture, but it was really that I was emotional over the reminder of what the LORD has done in my family. I was emotional over how far he has brought us. I was emotional over a God that has allowed us to live in a valley, so that when we are on a mountain, we will remember him. Then, I was reminded of Jacob’s rest and the ladder in his dream. Most of all I was reminded of what he said after his rest.

“Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it.” (Genesis 28:16)

I have been on a long sabbatical since January 1st. After doing ministry for 7 years, I needed a long rest. Over the span of seven years I walked in discipling relationships with 18 women and 4 men, I led dozens of teens in student discipleship, I was a youth camp counselor for 4 years, I taught in kids ministry, I led worship on Sundays, I became a speaker at a family camp, and I organized and preached at 3 women’s conferences. On top of that I was also busy with non-ministry things. Years of coaching soccer teams. Being the president of a soccer club. Serving in random PTA functions. Advocating for my kids education. Running a small business. Being a wife, mom, friend, daughter. Doing all the things, ministry and other things, started to make me tired and I felt far from God. To say I needed rest, was an understatement. I have had a good rest over the last 7 months. I have been waiting for the Lord to bring me out of rest. I have been waiting for the sign to “get up”. Watching the bed leave has told me that my rest is coming to an end. Watching our ladder leave has reminded me of the presence of God in my life. I didn’t know what the Lord wanted to show me during the rest. Apparently, he wanted to remind me of the things he has done and that he has never been far from me. Being reminded of what Jacob said has shown me that when I do come out of rest, I just want to be where the Lord is. There are many things that I don’t plan to do anymore. Some are ministry things, some are not. However, whatever I find myself doing, I just want to be where the Lord is. Anything that reminds me of the Lord and his goodness and his faithfulness, I plan to be sentimental about that.

Straining for the Hem

.Reading time 7 minutes.

Open. Honest. Vulnerable. It has been a trying couple of years. There have been a lot of highs and lows. The highs have been amazing. The lows have been debilitating. While I was supported by many; there were people I loved that dusted their feet of me. People I didn’t know opened their doors and people I loved shut the gate on my face. It was a hard wilderness to walk through. Miraculously, the Lord has restored many of those relationships that were torn by misunderstandings and missteps. I am always full of joy when I think about the fact that I serve a God of restoration.

In 2016 a women made a choice to invest in my life. She asked me to follow her as she followed Jesus. Then I made the choice to dedicate my life to doing the same for other women. I know it is a calling on my life as much as I know my blood is red. Within a year of her releasing me to invest in other women, she passed away. It was the hardest loss I have ever felt. After spending a lot of time at war in Iraq, I got accustomed to losing friends in battle and still continuing my mission. This loss was harder for me to walk through because this is a woman who taught me about the healing of Christ’s hem. The healing that comes from reaching out to him… from just being near him. The tears I continue to cry for her are tears of love and gratitude. A huge thing she taught me was Lordship. Allowing Christ alone to have Lordship in my life. Not people, things, or situations. This was paramount in continuing to walk with Christ once my spiritual parent passed away.

I recently had to walk through a hard situation. In my frustration I told a friend that possesses great godly reason, that I was tired if doing this and didn’t want to do discipleship anymore. In my weakness… I felt done. She called out lies I was believing and gave me scripture. This is what is different about conversations with women who sit at the feet of Jesus. They call out sin. They call out lies. They call out the true enemy.

Then… I had D-group today. We talked through the Shema and Lordship. It was a great reminder for me. What is on the forefront of my mind? What is leading my thoughts and actions? I had allowed my situation to have Lordship in my life. The voice of the Lord for me became clear. If I believe that Jesus is Lord of my life, my current situation does not get to decide if I will continue to make Disciples of Jesus. I had to change my view and return to looking at Christ and reach out to him. In the thick of hard things, we have to strain for him. This is true repentance.

After sitting in this, one of the women I am walking with gave me a gift that hit me so fast I couldn’t catch my breath. It was a print of a picture I sent her a while back. It is a drawing of Matthew 9:20-22. How could someone draw something from 3 verses in such a way as to steal the air from my lungs? Art is funny like that. Seeing the power from these 3 verses drawn out is the reminder of Christ’s healing that I need daily.

And behold, a woman who had suffered from a discharge of blood for twelve years came up behind him and touched the fringe of his garment, for she said to herself, “If I only touch his garment, I will be made well.” Jesus turned, and seeing her he said, “Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well.” And instantly the woman was made well.

If I only touch his garment, I will be made well. Having enough faith in Christ to believe that all you have to do is strain and reach even just the hem of his garment is so powerful. Him being aware of suffering and affliction by her mere touch is powerful. Him allowing her faith to bring her healing is powerful. Him calling her daughter IS POWERFUL.

Take heart… tharséō (“emboldened to show courage”) refers to God bolstering the believer, empowering them with a bold inner-attitude (to be “of good courage”). For the believer, 2293 /tharséō (“showing boldness”) is the result of the Lord infusing His strength by His inworking of faith (“inbirthed persuasion,” 4102 /pístis). Showing this unflinching, bold courage means living out the inner confidence (inner bolstering) that is Spirit-produced. [from Bible hub & stongs concordance]

Show courage, have a bold inner-attitude from the Lord infusing His strength by His in working of faith because you have been made well.

LORD, let me strain daily for the hem of your garment. Let me strain daily for your for healing. Let me strain daily for your restoration. Let me strain daily for you. You are the God who sees me. You are the God who heals.

I pray this finds you well.

I pray you surround yourself with women who sit at the feet of Jesus, and point you to his hem.

-Chorley

white textile

Routes of Remembrance

.Reading time 6 minutes.

Pain, Sorrow, Loss, Grief. These things are hard to walk through with grace. One of the hardest things about life is not understanding why some people leave when they do. Why one life is ended and not another. Why a strong relationship can suddenly be the past.

Over this past year I have watched much sorrow and grief. Sometimes I wish I were just hearing about these losses as I hear about the weather. That it may change how I dress for the day, but other than that I am unaffected. I wish I could just use scripture out of context and say, “Let the dead bury the dead”. That is not who the Lord has formed me to be. The Lord has formed me to, “Bear with one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ”.

When I go to funerals, I watch the slide show with awe and wonder. I watch these snapshots from a life lived. Many of these slide shows last only 5 minutes. 5 minutes. How can you fit a life into 5 minutes? How can you share someone’s hopes, dreams, and memories of an entire life in 5 minutes? When I see their pictures holding a newborn baby, I wonder how long they prayed for that baby. I wonder if there were complications that lead them to seek the Lord. When I see wedding pictures, I wonder if the couple took every opportunity to tell each other that they love each other. I wonder if they left anything unsaid. More than anything, I watch in hopes that I will get to witness how much they loved the Lord. I will get to see how they loved. I will get to see how they served. I will get to see how they laid their life down for others. Getting to see this, is a gift that I also carry with me.

When someone we love leaves us for heaven, we all take a different route. There is the route of anger of loss. This route is not fruitful and doesn’t give a good witness to the love of the Lord or the one we lost. There is the route of denial. This route pretends everything is fine and never speaks of the one’s we have lost. There are plenty of other routes to take that I won’t go into. The route I love the most is continuing on with life and carrying those we love with us. Speaking of them. Telling others about them. Using the things they taught us. Not dwelling on their mistakes. More than anything else, sharing how the Lord used them to grow us. It is easier to do these things if we really loved them.

When I look at this route as a way to continue after the loss of a loved one, I ask… what about Jesus? Jesus died and was rose again. How do we continue on from that? Do we carry him with us in our life every day? Do we speak of him? Do we tell others about him? Do we use the things he has taught us? Do we dwell on the things he didn’t do for us? Do we share how the Lord used him to grow us?

Or… are we stuck angry about where we don’t see him? Do we live in denial of him? Is he out of sight out of mind? After all… “It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” “Go into all the world and proclaim the good news”

When the wind blows through the warm sheets on the line, I will remember her and know the wind obeys him.
When I tuck my child into the crisp sheets at night and smell a soft remanence of dirt, grass and rain, I will remember her and I will be reminded that they are good soil.
When the twang of a banjo cord vibrates on my thumb, I will remember her and I will sing songs of praise to God. 
When the juice of a peach runs down the blade of my paring knife, I will remember her and I will pray for a fruitful lineage. 
When I hear my children’s laughter as they run through an orchard, I will remember her and I will know that I am just on this side of Heaven; planted and waiting upon the Lord.

Selah

Chorley

sea black and white beach love

New Year, Same Hope

.Reading time 5 minutes.

Many of us just celebrated Rosh Hashanah. This is the Hebrew/ Jewish new year. This is also known as the Feast of trumpets. New year often comes with new goals and new hopes. It can be hard for some to blow the trumpet with joy when we think about the times we are living in.

The only thing that keeps me stable in these days of uncertainty is the absolute dependability of God’s Word. -Elizabeth Elliot

I wish I could say that most things in our world are running smooth and exactly how we want them to run. They are not. We have had a very trying couple of years. I wanted to share a few numbers with you.

Notable violence numbers from 2019:
2,983 Christians were killed for their faith
8,537 Christians were raped or sexually harassed for their faith
9,488 Churches or Christian buildings were attacked
3,711 Christians were unjustly arrested or imprisoned
1,052 Christians were abducted for faith-related reasons
3,315 Christian homes were attacked, burned or destroyed

Before you read any further… Pray.

We have these violent acts going around the whole world. I don’t have the answer for what you can do other than pray. The violence of this world is nothing new. People have been killing each other since Cain and Able. We can not look at these numbers and be surprised. Only a little over 30% of the worlds population is a Christian. Only about 65% of the US is Christian. That number is declining every year. These numbers should not scare you, but they should stir you. They should stir you to be in the Word so that you are also… prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you.

I recently when through Ephesians 4 with the Family Life Assembly of God in Choctaw, OK. The whole chapter is so rich and gives a great playbook for the Christian. One thing that we discussed every night was that the first three chapters of the book are the why and the next three are the how. As in, why we are Christians and how we walk that out. The biggest things that we have to understand is that we can not begin to walk out out faith, if we don’t know why we have our faith. My friend Maria shared the biblical definition of faith with us; confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. The only way that we can live in these trying times is by faith with hope. Not faith in a government to protect us and provide for us, but faith in our God to do that. Not hope that things will be how we want them to be and that we wont face trials and persecution, but Hope that Christ’s will be done in our lives.

One of the most powerful things that was ever told to the Hebrews that were being persecuted and were filled with righteous anger was; We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek. When we have Christ as an anchor in our life, the storms and waves of the evil in this world don’t shift our faith. The frustrations of mundane daily tasks don’t distract us from the mission we are on.

What mission are you on?

Is your mission Christ centered?

What distractions from the enemy, stumbling blocks or briars of rebellion do you need to address?

Stand firm in your faith. Pray for the persecuted. Pray for those that persecute. Blow the trumpet of the Lord. Loudly!

Grace & Peace

Chorley

grayscale photography of woman inside jail

Praising Through Pain

.Reading time 6 minutes.

This past month has come with a lot of highs and a lot of lows. I wish I could say that once you become a Disciple of Jesus everything becomes easy. Ha! That is just not the truth. There are still struggles for all of us. The difference is that a Disciple of Jesus knows that the Lord is perfect in our weakness. We also know that because our hope is in him and not in how we feel. I have had (diagnosed) PTSD since 2008. Through a series of life events my body decided to live in a hypervigilant state. This caused other medical issues. Then in 2018 I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. This was a whole new set of medical issues. I don’t say this in a manner of woe me. It is quite the contrary. I say this as in I have this Hope that can not be shaken; even when my PTSD is making my brain unbalanced or when my body hurts too bad to sleep. We know that because our hope is in him and not in how we feel momentarily. One thing that I have learned through loosing many people I love; pain is relative and momentary.

Pain can be used to debilitate us or show the Glory of God. When I think about life struggles and pain I always think of Job. I think of him trying everything he can to minister to his children and then dying. I think about him loosing his home, his wealth, and everything that he once considered a blessing in his life. I think about those in his life that try to tell him that he has caused this suffering. I think about the doubt that those around him try to plant in his mind. I think about his wavering doubt. Well, what I read as a wavering doubt. THEN… I think of how God answered him. God did not just tell him what he wanted to hear. God also did not just reverse everything that had happened. God still answered him. I always have to ask myself; how does God answer me? He answers me in his Word. He tells me of his love for me in his Word. He comforts me in his Word. He shows me his power in his Word. He reminds me of pillars of faith that have been built from his Word. (…and the Word became flesh and dwelt among them.) I have to remind myself to not do as Adam did. I can not hide my nakedness from the Lord. I bring my nakedness to him, and he clothes me in his sacrifices.

I heard a preacher speak on prison gates this past weekend. I think he did a great job. Mainly because he stuck mostly to the Word. I respect that. He talked of Acts 16. I encourage you to go read it. (Don’t just assume I am correct!) In Acts 16 we read about the prisoners singing at midnight. When they sing the prison walls begin to shake and the gates are opened. I have read this before, but I don’t think my heart was really ready to hear it. When I heard it this weekend I just wept. I wept at the thought that those that cry out to the Lord will be freed.

Physical pain and mental health are real medical problems. I am not saying that when you cry out to the Lord you will no longer feel pain. I m not saying that when you cry out to the Lord you will no longer have mental health issues. What I am saying is that it is possible to still cry out to the Lord and sing his praises even when you are restrained by worldly circumstances.

Remember that these men were beaten and in pain. They did not sing praises to relieve the pain or open their gates. They sang praises to sing praises to the Lord! They also did not stop singing and run away the minute that the gates opened. Instead, they did the work of our Father. They witnessed of the Lord’s great power AND mercy. THEN the one that once stood guard outside their gate was transformed by the power of the Lord and washed their wounds.

What gates are holding you in?

Do you sing praises to sing praises to the Lord?

What wounds do you need washed?

Grace & Peace

Chorley

I pray this finds you well. Be sure to check out the new playlist on the home page. I will also be releasing a new shirt next week! Check out the shop!

The Weight of the Load

.Reading time 10 minutes.

I wish I could say that I have suffered enough pain for my life, so I should be exempt from anymore. That is simply not the truth. The truth is that I have sinned over and over in my life and I, like most, deserve no grace. I have yet to find any place in the word that says that the I have earned the Lords love and kindness so he must make it possible for me to live happily ever after. The word paints quite a different picture for me. While it is not all sunshine and rainbows, it is still a picture that I choose to accept because it all works out for my good.

Back in 2007 I was quite the Soldier. (At least I thought so because you know… I’m prideful) I had made it through 3 years in the Army and 1 deployment without any knee pain. I bragged about it to my husband. He was going to regular doctors’ appointments for his knee problems. You were a unicorn if you didn’t have knee pain. Having been one with no knee pain and being a female, I got roped into a lot of extra training. We were gearing up for our next deployment. Most infantry companies now employ at least one female for combat missions. With tensions being as high as they are now, you don’t want a male soldier searching a female detainee. This is especially true for a female detainee that is Muslim. That is one reason that it is important for every unit to have at least one female. Well, for many missions, I was that one. While training I went on an Air Assault mission. The leadership decided not to waste time repelling from the Blackhawk. Instead, the helicopter swooped down as low as it could and we all jumped. The jump was probably five feet from the ground. I was wearing my vest, assault pack (backpack), rifle, and a 50-caliber barrel on my shoulder. The vest weighs 16 lbs., ammo in the vest adds about 7 lbs., the pack weighs 25, The rifle 11 lbs., the barrel weighs 24lbs. All together that is 83 lbs. on my (at the time) 113 lb. body. I’ll do the math for you, that is 73% of my weight. This small jump should have been fine and not injured anyone. Well…I have a genetic disorder called Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder. Basically, my joints bend further than they should because the ligaments in my body are too loose. This results in limbs moving into positions that they shouldn’t, which leads to sprains, breaks and a lot of pain. If I bend my knee a certain way, the ligament that is known as the hamstring (behind my knee) will get hooked on the side of my fibula (leg bone) and prevent me from standing up. If it gets hooked, when I try to stand it will feel like I am ripping my leg off. So, when I hit the ground with 73% of my body weight on my back, my knees buckled backwards which led to me fracturing both patella’s. I am no longer a unicorn. My knees have gotten worse over the years. Sometimes I just scream trying to stand, and sometimes they feel fine.

This morning I was sitting in Luke 9:23. And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” There is more to the conversation… but I narrowed in on this. I woke up this morning and felt okay. Sore from working out, but okay. As I read the scripture, I told myself that surly I pick up my cross daily. Surly I willingly pick it up. I looked into this word “cross” in the Strong’s concordance. Stauros. An instrument of crucifixion. The cross represents unspeakable pain, humiliation, and suffering- and ironically it is also the symbol of infinite love. It is not a symbol for suffering in general. Rather it refers to withstanding persecution (difficult times), by the Lord’s power, as he directs the circumstances of life. As Christ’s Disciples, believers are told to hold true even when attacked by the ungodly. I prayed for the Lord to remind me over and over to pick up my cross. I prayed for him to continue to humble me, and I thanked him for the blessings of his word. I stood up… and went downstairs. On my way down the stairs my ankle gave out and I started to fall. When I caught myself, my kneecap slipped out of place. I was able to slip it right back because I have those amazing Stretch Armstrong ligaments. I immediately thought… NOT THIS CROSS! I don’t want to pick this one up. This one is not convenient for me. This one shows my physical weakness. I tried to walk, and I could barely put weight on it. I was immediately annoyed by my minor inconvenience. While at church I stood and worshipped as I usually do. I was then annoyed again because it was too painful to kneel down to pray. “ Why am I feeling pain that is preventing me from worshipping as I desire to worship!” As soon as the thought hit my head, my other leg became too weak to stand and I was forced to sit down. As soon as I was able to catch my breath and feel a break from the pain and weakness I stood again. It wasn’t long before I had to sit again. I was frustrated and hurting and just wanted to cry. As soon as I said the words, “Why God?” He reminded me of the pain of the cross he bore. He reminded me of his questions to Job. He reminded me of his strength in my weakness. He reminded me that I should not be surprised when a fiery trial comes upon me. He reminded me to rejoice in my sufferings. He reminded me that I said I was willing to pick up my cross and follow him. I would pick up my pain. I would pick up my humiliation. I would pick up my suffering. And follow him. I immediately repented. The congregation was asked to stand. I stood up and tears just flowed from my eyes. They flowed with joy and thanksgiving because I was standing and putting weight on my knee and most of my pain had been removed.

I live most of my life in some type of physical pain. I have asked the Lord to take it many times. Often the answer is no. When the answer is no, I just remind myself that the Lord may have me suffer this pain to keep me humble. I am no Paul, far from it. But I do know that Paul’s thorn kept him humble. I can respect that. After all, no discipline feels good at the time. So, yes Lord, continue to break me to my knees and humble me. I witnessed a physical miracle this morning. How precious a gift is it to witness a miracle, let alone feel one. The weight of our load may seem heavy, but all things are possible through he who strengthens me.

What cross have you been asked to carry? Physical, Mental, Spiritual.

Do you pick it up willingly and daily?

How do you hold true when attacked, when in pain, when humiliated, when suffering?

I pray this finds you well.

Grace & Peace

Chorley

Suffering

.Reading time 5 minutes.

I look at my life’s sufferings and they pale in comparison to the sufferings I have watched you all go through. I have watched many of you loose wives, husbands and children. I have watched you also go through horrible diseases and afflictions. I watch all of this and I am in awe of how you have maintained your faith. I was recently sitting in the book of James. If you know my sister Kelly, she can tell you all about James. Anyone who has ever cracked open the book of James knows that he spoke often of suffering. I can imagine the survivor’s guilt that James must have felt after the crucifixion. Many Soldier go to war and do everything that they can to save their brothers and still return home with guilt. Meanwhile, we have no scripture that tells us that James was even present during the crucifixion. The mental struggles that James may have walked through would have been torture. The medicine that James needed to fight off this guilt and shame came from Christ coming to James after the resurrection. Christ revealed himself to James. In all of this pain and hurt, there was one thing that gave James rescue. Christ alone. James later became the head of the church of Jerusalem. There he no doubt saw the sufferings that Christians were going through after Rome burned in AD64. The burning of Rome was only one of the things that led to the massacres of AD66 that left more than 3,600 people dead in Jerusalem. Just two years later James himself would be stoned to death. While we think of being stoned, we remove our self. It can be hard for an American to picture being stoned in 2019. So, let’s picture it. Pick out your favorite prophet or teacher, or shepherd, or apostle, or evangelist. Don’t forget to think of their face. Now, picture them buried up to their chest with their feet shackled together under the weight of the hard ground surrounding them. Now, picture everyone you know throwing brick size rocks at them one by one. One to the back braking a rib out of place. One to the shoulder, knocking loose the clavicle. One to the chest collapsing a lung. One to the same spot breaking a rib into the lung so it slowly fills with blood, essentially drowning you friend. One to the mouth knocking out teeth right at the gum line. This goes on and on until there is no life left in your friend. The sight is not the worst. The worst part is listening to the screams of your friend beg for mercy. The screams that will slowly fade to nothing. James watched this, over and over and was still able  to write;

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

While all of us have various trials, we all have the same rescue. Christ. There is no trial too great for the Lord. James reminds us;

As an example of suffering and patience, brothers, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.

When the waters are rising… how do you maintain your faith?

In suffering, how are you reminded of the Lord’s compassion and mercy? In suffering, do you call on the Lord for absolution?