Pain, Sorrow, Loss, Grief. These things are hard to walk through with grace. One of the hardest things about life is not understanding why some people leave when they do. Why one life is ended and not another. Why a strong relationship can suddenly be the past.

Over this past year I have watched much sorrow and grief. Sometimes I wish I were just hearing about these losses as I hear about the weather. That it may change how I dress for the day, but other than that I am unaffected. I wish I could just use scripture out of context and say, “Let the dead bury the dead”. That is not who the Lord has formed me to be. The Lord has formed me to, “Bear with one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ”.

When I go to funerals, I watch the slide show with awe and wonder. I watch these snapshots from a life lived. Many of these slide shows last only 5 minutes. 5 minutes. How can you fit a life into 5 minutes? How can you share someone’s hopes, dreams, and memories of an entire life in 5 minutes? When I see their pictures holding a newborn baby, I wonder how long they prayed for that baby. I wonder if there were complications that lead them to seek the Lord. When I see wedding pictures, I wonder if the couple took every opportunity to tell each other that they love each other. I wonder if they left anything unsaid. More than anything, I watch in hopes that I will get to witness how much they loved the Lord. I will get to see how they loved. I will get to see how they served. I will get to see how they laid their life down for others. Getting to see this, is a gift that I also carry with me.

When someone we love leaves us for heaven, we all take a different route. There is the route of anger of loss. This route is not fruitful and doesn’t give a good witness to the love of the Lord or the one we lost. There is the route of denial. This route pretends everything is fine and never speaks of the one’s we have lost. There are plenty of other routes to take that I won’t go into. The route I love the most is continuing on with life and carrying those we love with us. Speaking of them. Telling others about them. Using the things they taught us. Not dwelling on their mistakes. More than anything else, sharing how the Lord used them to grow us. It is easier to do these things if we really loved them.

When I look at this route as a way to continue after the loss of a loved one, I ask… what about Jesus? Jesus died and was rose again. How do we continue on from that? Do we carry him with us in our life every day? Do we speak of him? Do we tell others about him? Do we use the things he has taught us? Do we dwell on the things he didn’t do for us? Do we share how the Lord used him to grow us?

Or… are we stuck angry about where we don’t see him? Do we live in denial of him? Is he out of sight out of mind? After all… “It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” “Go into all the world and proclaim the good news”

When the wind blows through the warm sheets on the line, I will remember her and know the wind obeys him.
When I tuck my child into the crisp sheets at night and smell a soft remanence of dirt, grass and rain, I will remember her and I will be reminded that they are good soil.
When the twang of a banjo cord vibrates on my thumb, I will remember her and I will sing songs of praise to God. 
When the juice of a peach runs down the blade of my paring knife, I will remember her and I will pray for a fruitful lineage. 
When I hear my children’s laughter as they run through an orchard, I will remember her and I will know that I am just on this side of Heaven; planted and waiting upon the Lord. 

Selah

Chorley