As some of you know, the interview I had lined up, didn’t work out. So, I had people submit questions to me. There were some really great questions in here. I did cry when I was answering some of them. The ones that reminded me of pillars of faith that the lord has built obviously made me cry. Talking about the things the Lord has done or things in the Word, usually makes me weepy. I appreciate all of you and I hope this finds you well. I especially appreciate those that submitted a question. This is about a 13 minute read because I felt that some of these required a longer answer. Know that while I answer these questions, I am no expert and the Lord has everyone walk through different things and deal with things differently. I open up about some stuff on here that may get me shunned by some people, but it may help other people. No worries… I’m here for the other people.

Erica Spangler: What is Disciple making to you?

I love this question. I love it because there is so many different definitions for Disciple making or Discipleship. We live in a culture that is quick to change so many things to make them easier. I have seen this done with Disciple making as well. I have seen that there can be a difference in methods and practices between churches and groups. I don’t think that I can stand up and say that any are just straight wrong or that the way that I do it is THE right way. I can say that many are not biblical. By not biblical, I mean that there are many methods of “Discipleship” that we see in today’s culture, that are not modeled in the Word for us. When I read the Word, I see Jesus regularly meeting with the people he is walking with. He gives them the word. He teaches them the things God taught him. He is intentional with them. He also has moments of enjoying them and getting to know the things that their hearts beat for, while showing them the things of the kingdom that their heart should beat for. As he walks with people, the desires of their hearts change. He shares with their burdens, and he strengthens and encourages them. He sacrifices for them. He gives grace when grace is needed. He gives truth when truth is needed. That is Disciple making to me. I strive to mirror his model and always point back to him and not myself.  

Michayla Wiegert: How has Discipleship changed you? As a person, as a wife and a mother?

There is not a quick answer. I don’t have this idea that I have arrived at any final point. I am a super flawed person who still regularly sins and is always asking the Lord to work on me. I used to be a different person completely. My emotions controlled a lot of what I did. I still struggle with anxiety and depression and PTSD. I know that there are things that have happened in my life, or I have done that have changed the chemistry in my brain. From, being raped, to having an abortion, to being addicted to drugs, to being an alcoholic, to having two heart attacks, to infertility, to cervical cancer, to loosing dozens of friends in Iraq and dozens more to suicide, to surviving a suicide attempt, my brain has changed. I have asked the Lord to take away my PTSD issues and for now, he has said no. I think that me continuing to walk through life and discipleship with this battle keeps me humble and keeps me empathetic. Oddly, I am thankful for all of these things. It is living through these things and walking through Discipleship that I am able to see God in all of these situations. Every single one of them. My relationship with the Lord has changed in the same ways as my relationship with my husband. I went from being a bitter and ungrateful wife to a loving full of grace wife who submits to her husband in ways I was never raised to. I went from being a distant and strict mother to a kind, teaching, hugging mom.

Melanie Vaughn: What is your favorite part of Disciple Making?

My favorite part of Disciple making is watching the moment when someone I have walked with,  realizes how much the Lord loves them and they bend their knees and cry out to him with huge tears of joy. That is the moment when I see heaven break through in them. It is a huge gift to be able to witness this. I’m weeping just thinking about it. I think it is the most beautiful thing in the world.

Tamyara Henson: Is there anyone that you have walked with or are walking with that when the Lord first placed them in front of you, your first thought was: Absolutely Not? How did you walk through that?

Oh yes! Debbie Larrison. The general rule is that you usually walk with people that are equal or younger age and that are not as far along as you are spiritually. Debbie is more than a couple decades older than me. In fact, her husband had been friends with my dad for almost three decades. Well, I remember when the Lord put her in front of me and we didn’t really know each other too well. I thought, “There is absolutely nothing that I could ever teach her that she doesn’t know. She will never submit to my authority in the room as a teacher.” The Lord kept leading me to scripture to change my mind and showing me examples of the fruit that can come. Well, boy was I wrong. Debbie and I walked together for 2 years and continue to live life together. She is now a part of my family. The Lord knew that I would need her to walk through losing my spiritual mother. I have sat through memorial services for over 50 people. This loss was the hardest loss in my life and I still struggle to talk about Rachel without crying. Debbie was who the Lord sent to walk me through that. Trust his plans. He knows what he is doing. Everyone the Lord sends you is either a gift or a lesson. Debbie was both.

Jamie Legrand: In Disciple making, we are asked to lay our lives down. How would you define what that means? How does that look for you as a wife, mom, etc?

The best way to explain laying your life down for someone is: Constantly choosing them over yourself and your own comfort. Will my choices be hard for me but allow them to see Jesus? Will I have to do hard things and have a little bit of suffering for them to see the kingdom breakthrough. Laying your life down in Discipleship should always lead to more Jesus and not more sin. If you are watching someone’s kid so they can go out and get drunk… that’s not laying your life down for them. Laying your life down means that you are sacrificing for someone else’s good.

Ashley Fitzpatrick: This is my first rest season being a Disciple maker and was wondering what rest season looks like for you?

Rest season looks different for everyone. Everyone’s life is so different. I mean most people don’t quit their job during rest season. So, I don’t either. I am retired from the Army, so I don’t have a job that requires me to show up every day. My job is making Disciples, writing, and selling a t-shirt here and there. I tell the people that I am walking with, that rest season is when I become less so the Lord can become more. They lean more on the Lord than on me. They are filled up more by the Lord than me. This gives me more time to be filled up with the Lord. However, crisis happens. Matthew tells us that when Jesus heard about John the Baptists death, he withdrew from the crowd to a desolate place. But the crowd followed him. Jesus’ response was not, go away I need the Lord to fill me up first. He responded with compassion and healed their sick, then when the Disciples told Jesus to send them away to find their own food, he said, “ They need not go away, bring them to me” Jesus fed them and by the grace of God, after Jesus fed them there was plenty of leftovers. I may not be seeking people out and trying to walk with them, but if the Lord sends someone to me, I will not send them away. I will feed them with the word and the Lord will bless me with leftovers that will sustain me.

Alex Evans: What was the turning point in your life that led you to follow the Lord wholeheartedly?

My identity has been jacked my whole life. I never really knew who I was and I always felt abandoned by someone. When I found out I had to retire from the Army it destroyed me. I was being abandoned by the Army just like I had been abandoned by many men in my life. I chose death over losing anything else. I attempted suicide and things didn’t go as planned. It was a miracle. As I drove to the mental health office afterwards I knew that Christ was calling me to him, but it was like driving through fog for the next 6 years. After being hurt by so many men in my life, it took two men sitting me down and showing me exactly what the Lord says about me in the Word. While they were showing me in Ephesians 1, the Lord drew me to Ephesians 2: 4-6. But God- being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ- by grace you have been saved- and raised up with him and seated with us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus. This broke me in the best way. It has become my life’s mission to tell everyone about the Lord and how he rescued me.

Lindsey Hartman, Madison Pierce, Jill English: What’s your most difficult challenge in making Disciples and Why?

Oh, the Kairos. A Kairos is a moment in time where heaven is trying to break through in someone’s life. When I am walking with people I see things that they need to change. It is not always my place to tell them what to do and when to do it. There will be a moment in time that the Holy Spirit comes into a situation, and it takes practice to figure out when to push on a subject and when to sit back and wait. I have to make sure that it is Spirit led and not Andi led. You can’t force someone to walk away from sin. Sometimes you have to hand them over to their sin, like Paul said in 1 Corinthians 5.

Jill English: What does it look like to juggle all the things at home while you are having D-Group?

I used to meet with women on Friday night. So, I would get dinner ready, take my son and drop him of at practice with a mom that would bring him home. (Amazing friend!) Then I would come home and get the house ready, and my husband would get home from a 15 hour day at work and help with my little girls while the women arrived. My husband would eat with the girls while I ate with the women in my group, because there is so much significance in breaking bread together. Then we would move to my office to continue group. By the time the women left for the evening, my family was usually in bed. My current group meets on Wednesday nights. It is way more challenging now. I have a 11, 8, and 6 year old. My husband goes to bed at 2pm on Wednesday nights and gets up for work around 9pm. One daughter had to miss her Wednesday night soccer practice this past season because there was not a mom that I was willing to leave her with. That is a sacrifice that we chose. So, I get the kids home from school, get homework done with them, get the house cleaned up, usually holler at someone to stop fighting, get dinner ready, tell the kids they need to be quiet and not scream and wake their dad up, the women arrive, I usually have to move t-shirts and order forms off my couches in the office so they can set their stuff down, I make the kids plates and set them in front of the TV, and the women and I go to the dinning room to break bread. After dinner we make our way to my office for group. I have two couches and a chair so there is plenty of room to sit, though everyone usually sits in the same place every week. I always have to step out of the office to break up a fight or tell someone to be quiet at least twice an evening. When my husband gets up at 9, I step into the kitchen and make his sandwiches, the ladies take a restroom break, and I send the kids to bed. Then I make my way back to the office and we resume until we are done. After group, after I kick everyone out for the night, I often stay up for a couple hours to detox emotions so that I don’t wake up heavy. So, my answer is that I juggle it as it comes but I couldn’t just say that… I had to explain my chaos so you could see that it is truly a juggling act that requires a lot of grace for everyone including myself.

Alysha Fletcher: How do you handle kids and Discipling? Private matters are often discussed, and kids can intrude on those moments. At least in my home, my children want to be with me all the time.

It can be difficult. You walk this fine line of modeling for your children and also knowing that small ears have big mouths. My group will discuss their highs and lows in the dinning room that has no closed doors, but our main talks happen behind a closed door. My husband gave me a huge gift when he remodeled my office to accommodate a discipleship group. An office with a lockable door. We are not without interruptions even with a lockable door. There have been times when I had to rock a toddler to sleep during group or a mom had to bring her infant for a year. Teaching kids that you love them but also explaining to your kids why they shouldn’t be in the room with you all the time is a huge lesson for them. It takes time and consistency for everyone to stick to a plan. I took all my kids on a one-on-one date and taught them the importance of having alone time with me. It helped them to respect the time I have with my women more.

Alysha Fletcher: How do you help people you know you are supposed to walk with; overcome obstacles (like having small children and no help from a spouse) that seem to make entering a Discipling relationship difficult?

There is a verse in Isaiah 57 that says, “ build up, build up, prepare the way, remove every obstruction from my People’s way”. I would find out what the obstacle is and if the woman wants help removing that obstruction. If she does, seek help from your village. If she wants help, the Lord will make a way. If she doesn’t… it will always be an excuse.

Grace & Peace

Chorley